It appears you have not yet Signed Up with our community. To Sign Up for free, please click here....



Epilepsy Message Board
Post New Thread   Closed Thread
LinkBack Thread Tools
Old 01-13-2005, 09:27 AM   #1
Senior Member
(female)
 
Join Date: Apr 2004
Posts: 135
debvid HB User
Bonnie - poor decisions

Hi All

I haven't posted in a while. Things have been kind of up and down with Bonnie.

Bonnie still thinks she is getting "stupid", as she says, and she will say " no Mom I really am"
I do see some cognitive changes lately. Don't know if it is meds or the seizures causing it.

The neuro said there is a disease that will cause what Bonnie is saying, but she doesn't want to think about that. She doesn't think it is that but said for us to get a eye exam, it would show up there.

The neuro said we could change her back to carbatrol, which was the first med she was ever on. It worked for years until 2 years ago when hormones kicked in. She said sometimes when you go back to them again they work, and so far it has been the only one that worked. We have basically been changing meds for the last 2 years. We had just increased the lamictal 2 weeks ago and were fixing to increase again. I don't know whether to give this a little longer or to now switch to carbatrol. We have not gotten her off of the trileptal yet, still working on it. We were going to get lamictal up higher before we tried again.

Her other option was to see a pshychologist or pshychiatrist. I'm not to crazy about that idea!

Does anyone have any suggestions on the poor decision making.
Bonnie has made some VERY poor decisons lately! Totally unlike Bonnie. You never know if it is the seizures, the meds, or just being 14!
We started her back on adderall to try and help her focus more in school. This time we put her on the regular one instead of the time release. She went nuts last year when we tried this. So far so good, we started it on the 4th. I knew a child who went crazy on time release but did ok on the regular. That's why I suggested this to the neuro.

The Neuro said the adderal would help with the poor decision making as long as it was in her system. It wouldn't help her at 3am. Guess we may take it in the afternoons also, not just for school!


Bonnie says she knows she makes the wrong descision but still does it. She doesn't know why she does the things she does. She says I have taken everything away from her in the past and she still did the things she got in trouble for. She says this means she is stupid, if someone told her they did that she would tell them they were stupid! This problem had gotten better. It apparantly was happening in August and then again in Dec. She also was having more problems with her seizures at these times. I do see a relation between seizures and poor decisions!

Sorry to ramble on so.

Debbie

Last edited by debvid; 01-13-2005 at 09:29 AM.

 
Sponsors Lightbulb
   
Old 01-13-2005, 07:11 PM   #2
Senior Veteran
 
Join Date: Feb 2004
Posts: 700
tkdmom96 HB User
Re: Bonnie - poor decisions

Hi Debbie,

Happy New Year to you!

Sounds like you have had your plate full again. Do you mind me asking what type of bad decisions Bonnie has been making? Are they REALLY bad?

It could definately have to do with where the seizures originate from. I haven't talked with you in awhile about where hers come from. Do they come from the right frontal lobe at all? That is an "emotional" center and lack of judgement could be afftected by seizures in that area. Have you ever discussed this with the neuro? You can do a google on this area of the brain to get more info.

I wouldn't consider a new med until you are SURE you want to do it. The Lamictal is going to take awhile to come off of. Not as long as going on, but it will take a few weeks.

I know you don't like the idea of the pyschologist or pyschiatrist, but it may be to the point where she needs it. You mentioned she hasn't been coping with having E very well, and this may help her.

Please keep us posted on how things go...I'll be thinking of you and Bonnie!

Vicki
__________________
Proud mom of Katie, the strongest and bravest person I have ever known! GBTG.

 
Old 01-13-2005, 11:11 PM   #3
Senior Member
(female)
 
Join Date: Apr 2004
Posts: 135
debvid HB User
Re: Bonnie - poor decisions

Hi Vicky

How's Katie doing? Happy New Year!
Thanks for posting. Her poor decisions involve boys! There is a 18 year old who has been calling her. He was a friend of her brothers. While I was staying with my Mom and Dad this summer before he passed away, the boy made some kind of contact with her while he was visiting her brother. She says he just kissed her. Since then he has emailed her from college, talked on the phone and last week tried to get her to skip school and go with him. He went to her school during 7th hour p.e. and had someone get her to go to the weight room to see him. He also tried to get her to unlock our bathroom window for him. She kept telling him no to all of these things. I had to go to her school and tell them. I called the police but haven't pursued it yet, she doesn't want to talk to them. This boy is evil and is teaching her how to be deceitful. It really scares me, he is after Bonnie. I know this because I heard him on the phone. She keeps putting him off. I had already told him not to talk to her when I caught them on the phone a month earlier. I read his emails he sent after this, he knows this and has not stopped.

Now another story, she let the boy she likes ( this is her first boyfriend) in our house after we were asleep. Luckily Mom's instincts paid off and I got up that night and caught them. Thank God nothing happened. She told me she knew after she opened the door that she shouldn't have. Normally she slaps this boys hand if he tries to hold her hand!

Bonnie is very pretty and these boys can take advantage of such a naive young girl when she is having seizures. Both times she had contact with the college boy was when her seizures were acting up more. I completely trust Bonnie normally. When her seizures are acting up I am worried. She doesn't sleep well and stays up half the night.

I know some of this sounds like 14 year old problems, but I see the difference when she has seizures.

Her seizures effect the executive function. They are from the right frontal lobe. Her doctor gave me info on that a while back. She said Bonnie's seizures would make her make poor decisions. I've read they could make you permiscuous also! This is why she said the adderal would only help while it was in her system not 3am!

I don't think I'm ready to change meds yet until we get her on just lamictal and see if that works. We haven't gotten to the dose we were headed for yet.

Honestly physchiatrist scare me, you can get one that can mess you up just as much as help you. I do think she needs something though. She said she doesn't want to have kids because something would be wrong with them. I tried to explain to her that before she planned on having a family she would get on a med that would not effect the baby. Right now she is on trileptal and she know she can't get pregnant on that. She usually doesn't say anything about her seizures. I guess she keeps it all inside.

Sorry this is so long. I have been a basket case the last week, worrying about this boy. I go to the school an hour before she gets out each day to make sure he doesn't try to go there. The school said they would have him arrested for trespassing if he came. Yet, he was able to get to her before I told them about it. He goes back to school out of town next week.

Thanks for listening.
Debbie

 
Old 01-14-2005, 07:16 AM   #4
Senior Member
(female)
 
Join Date: Aug 2004
Posts: 148
Kathy287 HB User
Re: Bonnie - poor decisions

Debbie,
Oh my, you have a lot to deal with and first let me say my prayers will be with you. I am the mother of 2, a 13 year old son and 15 year old daughter and reading your post really struck at my heart. My son had seizures but PTL has been seizure free for almost 10 years! I can't even imagine puberty and seizures. He does have ADHD and OCD and Asperger's syndrome(high functioning autism). When he was 5, the doctors told us we needed to see a Psychiatrist for Derik. I was like, why? he is 5!!! he is my baby!!! I can handle it. Well, I gave in, and I took him to see a pediatric psychiatrist, it was the best thing I could have done for him. Before that point he was only diagnosed with ADHD and put on ritalin, which didn't work right for him...he lost 10 pounds. The doctor told me the first day exactly what I was dealing with, even met with my daughter too. He told me that I would have trouble with my daughter as a teenager because we had forced her to grow up when she was so little because Derik needed so much attention. She always was "perfect", never caused any trouble. Well to make a long story short, The doctor found the right meds for him, which he is still on, and gave him some great coping skills. He also helped us with Amanda, our daughter. We saw him once a month for about 2 years and Derik always couldn't wait to go see him. Check out in your area what pediatric Psychiatrists are available and then ask about them. It sounds like your daughter could really use someone to talk to. My kids have mentors at our church that they can confide in. They know they can call them anytime and talk. It is people that we trust. If my kids would tell them something that we should know, it had been agreed, that they would be given so long to tell us, then if they hadn't, the mentor would. It not only gives them someone to talk to, it holds them accountable. Best of luck!
Kathy

 
Old 01-14-2005, 10:32 AM   #5
Senior Veteran
 
Join Date: Feb 2004
Posts: 700
tkdmom96 HB User
Re: Bonnie - poor decisions

Hi Debbie,

First of all, consider a restraining order right away. He is an "adult", he is a MAN, not a boy, AND she is a minor. PERIOD. He is braking the law in trying to contact her against your wishes. I would also contact the school superintendent and explain the situation. Find out what the school district can do to protect Bonnie. He should not be on the school campus without permission. Once a student graduates and is/or over the age of 18, they need permission to be on school grounds. I worked for our school district for almost 10 years. This MAN is after your MINOR daughter. And there is a HUGE difference between the age of 14 and 18. PERIOD.

I thought her seizures were right frontal lobe and a very difficult area to deal with. I do know about the permiscuity issue with that type of seizure area. I think it would be good for Bonnie to see someone. Repitition of information is very important. She needs the reinforcement from someone other than mom and dad. You'll need to work at finding someone that is great at what they do. Contact the local Children's Hospital or the hospital that you took Bonnie to for her diagnosis. Wasn't that in Baton Rouge?

We have the "no dating until your 16" rule in our house. Katie is just starting to "like" a boy right now as well. She is 16 1/2 tho. He's a senior. They are going to the "Twerp" dance together. Her first official date. He doesn't drive yet either...one advantage! Phew! And Katie was seizure free 7 months on Jan. 7th.

Andrew, on the other hand, has so many girls after him he needs a tree trunk to beat them off! It is RIDICULOUS! These girls are freshmen, 14-14 1/2 year olds and are calling, IMing, emailing, etc. They want him to go to the movies, bowling, ice skating, bon fires, etc. I said NO! I told him to tell them to quit calling and let them know what our rule is. It stopped for awhile (about a month or so) and started again. They show up at his basketball games with signs that have his name and number on them and shout all game long. The price you pay to have a boy in sports. It started with football in the fall. Yeesh. I can only wait until NEXT year as he reaches 16. He'll be 15 this April.

School is going well. They just finished exams and I'll be checking in with the teachers as far as Katie's grades are concerned. We are still watching the short term memory issue. The teachers have been very watchful, without Katie knowing. They give me a call if they feel something needs to be discussed. Andrew is doing fine. Very interesting having a child with a seizure disorder who loves school, struggles a little and wants to go to college. Then there is Andrew, smarter than a son of a gun, doesn't apply himself near as much as he should, and is wishy washy about college. He is my "do the least amount to get by with a good grade" kid. If he pushed himself a little more, he'd be a straight A student. He drives me crazy sometimes. But that's what parenting is all about.

Keep us posted on Bonnie and what you decide to do. We're all here if you need to vent...I'll be making sure we are praying extra hard for Bonnie.

Take care and (((hugs))) to you mom...
Vicki
__________________
Proud mom of Katie, the strongest and bravest person I have ever known! GBTG.

 
Old 01-16-2005, 09:54 AM   #6
Senior Member
(female)
 
Join Date: Apr 2004
Posts: 135
debvid HB User
Re: Bonnie - poor decisions

Hi Vicky and Kathy

Thanks so much for your replies. I am leaning toward having Bonnie talk to someone. Bonnie doesn't want to but I think she needs to. Kathy, it really helps to here how it helped your children. I repeat things over and over to her. She gets so upset about that, it would help coming from someone besides me. Her neuro said it would help us to be able to know how Bonnie is feeling and be able to help her better.

Her neuro called me Fri. I read about these other doc who don't call back etc. I am so lucky with ours, she really cares about Bonnie. I was suppose to call her back and hadn't yet, she called me! I told her Bonnie didn't want to change meds now, so we are going to wait and see. The neuro doesn't want to take her off trileptal completely until the summer. I told her our insurance had just ran out, we were on cobra, and I was trying to find some more. She told me of some programs to help out and suggested applying for SS, she said she doesn't normally do this. She said with uncontrolled seizures she should be able to qualify fo SS. There is a helping kids program or something like that, that will pay for anything related to the seizures. I am going to get that number from her and try to get on that. Louisiana also has an insurance program for kids I am going to apply for. She also told me trileptal and lamictal are both very expensive, she said SHE wouldn't be able to afford it! Hopefully we will get Bonnie on some program until we find some insurance. She gave me the name of a phsychiatrist, I am going to call her. The children's hospital we took her to is in new Orleans. I am going to call them also and get the name of someone.

I talked to the boys parents this morning. They are going to talk to him. They know if there is any more contact I will get a restraining order! I found out last night that he had come to the school again twice last week. Once I thought it was him at the school but wasn't sure so I didn't call anyone. Well I was right it was him, and he came another day. The school sure isn't doing to good a job of keeping others out! They told me they would have him arrested for trespassing if he came to the school! It amazes me that these teachers don't keep up with their students. During PE they do what ever they want, they don't dress out and don't do PE. Yet these teachers want a raise! I don't know how he got past me!

I talked to another one of her teachers, her husband has seizures. She is going to watch Bonnie closer and talk to the school nurse. She said Bonnie is a little too "social", talks too much, sometimes. She said if Bonnie keeps feeling she is getting "stupid" that she does tutoring at school and Bonnie could come to that. These caring teachers do deserve more money, but so many that I have dealt with through the years do not. Sorry this is just a touchy subject with me.

I told Bonnie God just puts me in the right place at the right time to find out things. She said she knows, why does He do that. I told her because He is helping me to help her!

I am so glad Katie is doing so well. Hopefully one day she will be off all meds. It is so good you have the support of the school. I don't know if Bonnie will ever be able to have the surgery, but I still pray for her to outgrow them. Bonnie also wants to go to college. She use to want to be a plastic surgeon, I don't know about that anymore, but who knows.

I know how the girls can be with calling your son. The girls are worse than the boys sometimes! Look out in a couple of years! That's what's so strange about this thing with the other BOY. Bonnie usually will not be the one to call a boy. That's how I know she doesn't LIKE this boy. If she did she would be very shy, that's just how she is. She really doesn't know why she calls him. I can't get her to understand how dangerous he is. All this drama sure doesn't help the seizure situation!

Thanks again for listening, hopefully next time will be a little more upbeat.

Debbie

 
Old 01-17-2005, 05:45 PM   #7
Senior Veteran
 
Join Date: Feb 2004
Posts: 700
tkdmom96 HB User
Re: Bonnie - poor decisions

Hi Debbie,

Happy to hear you are being pro-active with calling his parents. I hope you mentioned that this man has no business pursuing your 14 1/2 yr old daughter. It just isn't a good situation. You could also mention (if you ever have to again) that if he should continue to pursue her and if "something" should happen (consentual or not), he can go to jail for 3-10 years on statuatory rape and be regsitered as a sex offender because she is a minor. Something happening between a 16 or 17 year old and 18 year old could be considered a little different, but not with someone who is 14 1/2.

Take it ONE day at a time Debbie and rely on God for help...you are right on the money...God has a way of guiding us, when we don't even know it...

P.S. a little humor...Andrew and Katie were off of school today. Andrew had an away BB game and his cheering section showed up. Little known to them, they sat right next to me! When I yelled his name here and there, they looked at me sort of scared. Like, "oh no, it's his MOM". They didn't yell or hold their signs (they had them) up the whole game. Just clapped. Hee, hee...

Take care Debbie...
Vicki
__________________
Proud mom of Katie, the strongest and bravest person I have ever known! GBTG.

 
Old 01-17-2005, 06:11 PM   #8
Senior Veteran
 
Join Date: Feb 2004
Posts: 700
tkdmom96 HB User
Re: Bonnie - poor decisions

Hi Debbie,

I forgot to post that Katie's Lamictal is $385.60 per month, if we had to pay out of our pocket. Her Keppra was $490 something for the month. It can really add up. I'm sure it would increase if the patient took more tablets than what Katie takes too.

I pray you find your insurance or financial help comes for the meds...

Vicki
__________________
Proud mom of Katie, the strongest and bravest person I have ever known! GBTG.

 
Old 01-17-2005, 06:13 PM   #9
Inactive
(male)
 
Join Date: Jan 2005
Posts: 8
ZapGC HB User
Re: Bonnie - poor decisions

I would definatly try to keep my daughter away from anyone boys especially if she has epilepsy. One people like us with epilepsy are much more in tune with our feelings and are much easier to gain compassion from. We truely do love people. Still trying to figure out why (hehe)... I would also say to her that there are people who would try to use you in this world and always know your parents are there to help you. Feel lucky you don't have typical parents who believe the docotrs they find that tell them their children have nothing wrong with them. You should also know there are many people out there who are not very nice or even respective to people with epilepsy as within the last few hundred years they burned people with this illness at the steak thinking we were very dark people. I must say watch who you socialize with and who you allow close to you as you never know what wolves may be hiding in sheeps clothing in your life. just an honest opinion from someone who honestly cares.

 
Old 01-19-2005, 03:58 PM   #10
Senior Veteran
 
Join Date: Feb 2004
Posts: 700
tkdmom96 HB User
Re: Bonnie - poor decisions

Hi Debbie,

Glad to hear the melatonin is helping! How much is she taking?

Make sure she doesn't take it at 8pm, but not go to bed until 11. We were told the ideal time is 30 minutes (or sooner) before bed. I guess it wears off if you take it and don't got to bed right away. Something like that.

Katie would have it in the bathroom and take it when she washed her face and brushed her teeth before bed.

Vicki
__________________
Proud mom of Katie, the strongest and bravest person I have ever known! GBTG.

 
Old 01-19-2005, 06:03 PM   #11
Senior Member
(female)
 
Join Date: Apr 2004
Posts: 135
debvid HB User
Re: Bonnie - poor decisions

Hi Vicky

Thanks for the info. Maybe that's why it worked better the first night, she took it closer to when she was going to bed. Good idea about taking when she is in the bathroom brushing her teeth and getting ready for bed.

Debbie

 
Old 01-20-2005, 06:57 AM   #12
Senior Veteran
 
Join Date: Feb 2004
Posts: 700
tkdmom96 HB User
Re: Bonnie - poor decisions



Vicki
__________________
Proud mom of Katie, the strongest and bravest person I have ever known! GBTG.

 
Old 01-27-2005, 01:13 PM   #13
Junior Member
 
Join Date: May 2004
Posts: 35
jake's-mom HB User
Re: Bonnie - poor decisions

Debbie, Jake is only 8 so I can't relate to all of Bonnie's issues yet, but I do know that Hormones really mess with E and Medication. Also, if Bonnie truly is ADD, Adderall can act as a slight anti-depressant. That would be great for her. Also, Strattera was originally used as an anti-depressant and is not a stimulant. Jake didn't do well with it, but I know people who say it worked great for them.

I only have sons, but I was a teenage girl and I know how it feels to be sad and insecure. Sometimes we all make poor decisions when we are looking for acceptance.

I will add Bonnie to my increasingly growing prayer list tonight.

Love Wendy

Last edited by jake's-mom; 01-27-2005 at 01:14 PM.

 
Old 01-27-2005, 03:20 PM   #14
Senior Member
(female)
 
Join Date: Apr 2004
Posts: 135
debvid HB User
Re: Bonnie - poor decisions

Hi Wendy

Than you so much for your prayers. The hormones really do mess things up. That's when Bonnie's became uncontrolable, when hormones kicked in at 12, she's now 14.

I don't think Bonnie is ADD by itself, supposedly it's the side effect of the med. She wasn't ADD when younger. But, who knows, is it the meds or progression of E? The adderrall is helping a little in school now but not a big difference, maybe she needs a higher dose, she takes 10mg. She's a little more aggitated in afternoon, but nothing like when she was on the time released adderall, that was a nightmare! I'm not sure it's acting as an anti-depressant, in some ways she seems more depressed lately, but she has been through a lot lately. I know we all make poor decisions and I explain that to Bonnie, she just has to learn how to control it if possible.

When Bonnie was Jake's age she took carbatrol. She really didn't have any problems with it. It worked for years, until hormones. The doc is talking about maybe going back to it. It just gets so hard changing meds all the time. We are going to try this one a little longer. We keep Jake in our prayers also.

Thanks again for your kind words. I try to remember when I was a teenager, it has been a while! I didn't have to handle 90% of the things kids today are faced with, much less have epilepsy.

Debbie

 
Closed Thread

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Board Replies Last Post
Poor Self-Discipline plaxmax34 Mental Health 4 11-14-2008 11:15 AM
update on bonnie debvid Epilepsy 8 10-19-2004 07:56 PM
Happy Birthday Bonnie! tkdmom96 Epilepsy 6 09-07-2004 11:29 AM
Bonnie progress debvid Epilepsy 2 07-21-2004 05:08 AM
Debbie >>> Questions & Thoughts re: Bonnie tkdmom96 Epilepsy 4 07-10-2004 12:09 PM




Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is Off
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off




Join Our Newsletter

Stay healthy through tips curated by our health experts.

Whoops,

There was a problem adding your email Try again

Thank You

Your email has been added











All times are GMT -7. The time now is 06:55 PM.



Site owned and operated by HealthBoards.com™
Copyright and Terms of Use © 1998-2014 HealthBoards.comô All rights reserved.
Do not copy or redistribute in any form!