Right, can't really put this into words, but I'm going to try because this is the ONLY place that I can (thanks guys).
I'm at school right now, but not in class - its a three hour class and I slept through the first two hours and now I'm freaking out about the last bit. It's so bizzare I'm like a totally different person. Well I might not be outwardly but inwardly I am.
Oooh - I CANNOT EXPLAIN THIS PROPERLY.
Okay, so my neuro put me on tegretol, but I'm allergic to it (mildy; his words), then after months of protest I agreed to try Keppra. It works - it really really works. I'm going to call it some sort of a miracle. The seizures - gone (mostly - I may have had two where I normally have like 50 - thousand). My personality though? Woooo - CHANGED! I'm a bit snappy. At least I FEEL snappy. I can't tell. I feel like this absolute HOPELESSNESS. I keep driving to all these weird places and parking my car there and sitting in it going "WHAT NOW?" while listening to sad depressing music. I can't cry - like literally can't - tears are dried up - but inside thats all I'm doing. It's pure AGONY. When I'm sitting in class, or at this computer - like right now for example - I actually feel like - some sort of physical - (ANGST?) like I just have to GET OUT OF HERE RIGHT NOW...but then I think - where do I go? WHAT ON EARTH? And then I'm ssssssssssooooooooooooooo WEAK, actually physically weak. EXHAUSTED. I'll sleep all day. I DO sleep all day. I call in sick to work and miss class. This is getting rediculous.
I get upset at myself for feeling this way - and I'm ALREADY UPSET. It's dangerous - it's weird...but KEPPRA is working.
DARN IT DARN IT DARN IT.
I don't know - sorry about this weirdness. I'm still taking Tegretol too - because my Neuro doesn't want to just take me off it right away for fear of bringing on the dreaded seizures. Keppra up - Teg down. I'm not even THERE yet! I'm only at 1000mg of Kep/day - 1/2 what he wants. This is BAD NEWS!
Our Katie, 16 1/2 years old, was on Keppra for 3 years and took 3000mg per day. She did feel some of the same things you are. She had the depression (slight), weight gain, tiredness and the irritability. She has been off of it since November, since the surgery has been working well. She said she is more cheerful and alert...I just asked her.
Have you had any suicidal thoughts? If something like that is even close in mind, you NEED TO LET THE NEURO KNOW!!! I would still call and fill him in on what is going on. No med is worth totally changing who you are or causing other problems.
Do your parents know??? Please share with them...they need to know.
Keep us posted, I'll be thinking about you...
Proud mom of Katie, the strongest and bravest person I have ever known! GBTG.
I have just come off Keppra because I felt all of those things but I was crying as well, which is very unusual for me. I got to the point where I didn't want to get out of bed I felt so bad. I am 3 weeks off Keppra and I feel great again. My neuro tried to tell me that it wasn't the Keppra but has now conceded that I was probably right. Mind you, it was also making my seiazures worse, unlike you, so the decision to come off was easy for me. My thoughts are with you - I know where you're at.