tiresome

Hello, I was just wondering what you feel when you are having seizures? I have had two different neuro's tell me they thought I had PCE after hearing my description and my mothers of what goes on with me. I had seizures as a teenager but "out grew" them. I am 42 now and what I experience now is totally different from what I had then. Back then I would fall and be unaware of it. Now I feel a "wave" or "shock" in my head and can lose my balance, become confused, babble, flinch, long pauses in speech, and some have said that I will walk with a limp when I have them. The first neuro told me that my brain was getting to old to fight off the seizures. LOL Thanks a lot doc.
Also they had put me on dilantin which I felt was making it worse. Trilepital didn't help enough, only made them less often. ( I had them for 39 days straight and so many times in a day I couldn't keep count. From what I read most people don't realize what is going on but I do (except for the limping part) Also I started having trouble with my vision on it. I am now taking Lamictal, so far so good except for chest pain one day. I have applied for disability and was denied. I quit working because I couldn't stand the complaints that I was being rude, people just didn't realize what was happening. And once my employers heard "epilepsy" they called me into the office on a regular basis until I cried, I got so depressed I just quit going. I ended up in the hospital for 9 days because of that. I am not even sure why I am writing this except I just feel so lost and hopeless. I am trying to get information on training so schooling for people with disabilities but am waiting for a return phone call. I finally got a medical card so hopefully the docs will do the evoked potentials and EEG that I have been trying to get them to order so I can at least know what I am really dealing with.
Well if you have read this far, I thank you for your time. I guess I just need to know that there are solutions.
Laura
P.S. does that jumping green guy give anyone else problems? It sure does me, I have to put something in front of it so that it doesn't make me drift off.