I'm having a pity party....
Hello again, it's been quite a while since I have posed here but I am feeling like I need some support.
I am changing meds again. My Neurologist wanted me to do it in December but I had to wait until I could find rides everyday for me and my two little ones and all of the different places we have to be in the AM. I now have rides and will be starting my new meds this week. The thought of having a GM with only my 3 yr old and 9 month old there is so scary. My husband will be calling me every 20 minutes in the AM and my family is very close by so they wouldn't be alone for very long but it makes me cry to think about my little babies going through that. I have responded very well to the meds I have taken in the past and am only changing because after almost 3 years and a pregnancy my body is rejecting Lamictal. I am losing my hair and the glands in my neck are always enlarged and swollen. I HATE THIS! I lived my life up until 23 with no problems, no hang-ups, complete independence. Now I have to rely on others to help me take care of my sweet children and it breaks my heart. I know how lucky I am to have such an amazing husband to support me and sometimes I feel guilty that he has to take on so much so I don't want to add this burden to him.
I feel guilty because one of the reasons that I am finally ready to change meds is because of my hair falling out. I am only 28 years old and I have lost huge patches of hair, each time I comb my hair and handfulls come out I cry, I don't want to be bald before I'm 30! My swollen glands are pretty big but my neurologist said it's not too dangerous. She does want me to change meds though because it's not normal. This is just so hard, I want to have a normal life again and changing meds just puts you and your family so "up in the air" that it's overwhelming.
Thanks for being there.