Pez Dee Spencer

I am a 28 year old male. I recently (3 weeks ago) quit a HEAVY marijuana habit that I had since 14. At 14 I also started drinking heavily and that continued until 2 years ago.

When I used to go on long drunks, usually 3 or more days of drinking, I would have extreme anxiety and feel as though I was about to have a seizure. What I mean is I would be EXTREMELY agitated, shakey, and occaisonally my eyes would blink uncotrollably 3,4,5 or so times. These symptoms always went away in a few days and would not return until I went on another drunk.

About a week after I quit smoking weed I started having BAD anxiety attacks. The attacks start with my muscles in various parts of my body (but usually my arms and legs) twiching or "crawling". My hands will also shake as if I have been drinking. Also which is the scariest part (and why I think this may acutally be a seizure disorder) My eyes do the blinking thing where they blink rapidly 4 or so times. When the blinking thing happens the muscles in my lower back tense up somewhat and I get a big surge of adrenaline. After this happens is when the anxiety kicks into high gear.

I have been taking some ativan (about 1mg or less a day) that I was prescribed by an ER doctor. I went to the ER one night when I was having trouble breathing but they said it was all anxiety. When I take the ativan (usually 1/4mg at a time) the shaky feelings and muscle crawling subsides as does the blinking somewhat.

Ive never had a seizure as far as I know except when I was about 3 years old and had a very very high fever.

This is really scaring me. I went to my regular "doctor" at a clinic I go to (because I have no insurance) and told her about not bieng able to breathe and the ER docs saying anxiety. I didnt really mention the blinking thing or muscle twitches/crawling because it really hadnt started back up yet. Plus at this place the "doctor" comes in for about 2 minutes and is gone. She prescribed buspar for anxiety and sent me on my way. The buspar made me sick so I dont take it anymore. I also didnt tell the ER doc because the twitches and eye blinking didnt start until a few days ago.

I told my girlfriend that I feel like Im in alcohol DT's even though Ive been dry for over 2 years!!!!

I have a couple ativan left and use them sparingly for the anxiety but Im scared that this is something more. I have no idea and was hoping someone could help me on this board. This is really REALLY scary and I hope its not a seizure disorder and only anxiety causing all the symptoms.

I read that muscle twitches are common with anxiety but the uncontrolled blinking and tensing of my body during an "anxiety" attack is really bothering me.

When this happens I dont blackout at all or become unable to concentrate or anything its just like BAM BAM BAM with the blinking, my back tenses, and then the cold adrenaline rush from my kidney area. its lasts less than a second. I always know the "anxiety" is coming back because my muscles start twitching in various places and then the shakey feeling starts.

Like I said I have been either drinking or smoking dope if not both at the same time heavily for years and this is the longest Ive ever been totally clean from all booze and weed. Mabye this has something to do with it. I dont know.

Stress and anxiety or epilepsy?? Im so scared and confused. Im so afraid of just having an all out seizure or worse. I have a heart valve defect as well as an electrical defect in my heart that causes palpitations and I am scared that If I go into a convulsion or something I may die because of my heart stopping.

As I mentioned earlier I dont have insurance and the only doctors I can see besides the ER docs are at a clinic 50 miles away and they arent that great. It would take weeks if not months to get a referal to a neurologist and I dont know what to do.