What would you do? - Epilepsy Message Board

buliem · 10-11-2005, 10:35 AM

Hi All,

What do you do with ignorant people in regards to epilepsy? My aunt's FIL was talking about me (he's such a jerk he failed to remember my name and called me, "that relative of your mother's") to my cousin and she wasn't sure who he was talking about so he said, "You know, the one with the retarded boy."

Whoah! Patrick isn't retarded he has E. I'll admit he can act a little strange and spacey sometimes but he is in no way developmentally disabled. He does have inattention issues and is a bit immature for his age. A lot of that has to do with the meds he's on. We are working on his behavior issues.

I am livid! I'm also mad at my aunt for telling me what he said. I told her it hurts my feeling when she relates what her in-laws say about my son. This is not the first comment from one of them and I've had it!

I pretty much refuse to be around them any longer. If I'm forced to shall I confront him? I'm not afraid to set him straight. I just don't want it too turn into a scene. Should I even bother with someone so ignorant?

Obviously the Wizard forgot to give the man a heart as well as a brain!

neurowreck · 10-11-2005, 04:35 PM

Maybe mail or e-mail him information on your son's specific diagnoses- clarifying that his IQ is not effected...... I'd be mad too...

buliem · 10-11-2005, 05:08 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by neurowreck

Maybe mail or e-mail him information on your son's specific diagnoses- clarifying that his IQ is not effected...... I'd be mad too...

Thanks but I think the medical jargon will probably go over his head. This is a man that still refers to people of color in racist terms and has been fired from his job for gay bashing. He, most definitely, is a moron! Besides I doubt I'd be given his email address. Not sure if his home address is listed.

Patrick has idiopathic generalized epilepsy. Absence and TC. Given that he developed TC after being medicated for absence he mosty likely has JME but he doesn't have the major jerks during the day yet. He seems a little jerky at night and in the early morning during sleep. More than normal to me anyway. This type of E is found in children of NORMAL intelligence. The only thing that would have an effect on his IQ is the darn depakote. That unfortunately is something to bring up with the neuro, not aunt's FIL. I'm concerned because I recently read a report linking the use of certain AED's (depakote was one) with cognitive decline in children that isn't related to seizures. Apparently I'm giving my son pills that CAN make him retarded. Aargh!

Sorry, just venting. The whole thing makes me want to cry sometimes.

neurowreck · 10-11-2005, 05:59 PM

If you go to a major medical site, they usually have info for patients, which avoids the major medical jargon...or, maybe just whack him with your computer!! Sorry- no violence intended- just venting

Eilidh1 · 10-11-2005, 06:33 PM

Hi Buliem.

Although the things he said are hurtful and would surely be to anyone, you have got to keep at the forefront of your head (your forehead?) that this guy is the retard, not your son. I know you know that but I also know that it's difficult to keep that (and the fact that the opinions of these people do not matter in the least) in mind sometimes when you're angry. I'm presuming this guy is getting old now but is unfortunately in that category of the older generation who are still caught in the stigmas that society held when he was younger. Epilepsy had a massive stigma - my great aunt and uncle (who are now 81) didn't tell their friends that I had epilepsy when I was first diagnosed (7 years ago), which was hurtful, as they are people who love me, and I love them too. It's unfortunate that it took the diagnosis of another of their great-neices (i think about 4 years ago) for them to get a grip and realise it's nothing to be ashamed of. This older generation don't always understand (my Gran is great with it all though - don't want to tar them all with the same brush), and let's just thank God for the younger generations, most people are totally fine with it. But vent all you like here, it helps.

At least they don't drown us anymore...
Eilidh
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