Ashnan

This message may be long, so I apologize.

I am 32 years old. Married to a wonderful man, with two sons. I am newly diagnosed with TLE.

When I was young, I would often “come to” in strange places. I had no idea how I got there. My mom said I had a wonderful imagination when I told her about it. So I just didn’t mention it again. It eventually stopped.

About 5 years ago, I had a horrible sense of déjà vu and being pulled into a corner. Weird images of things I remember from my past, but different, seemed real. And this feeling of nothing else being real…and total fear…it’s hard to explain. This happened while I was doing dishes. I ignored it once I calmed down.

After the second one, I went to the emergency room, where a doctor told me it was a panic attack and to learn to relax. He gave me some sedatives and sent me to my family doctor.

My doctor sent me to a neurologist. After many tests (MRI, EEG, CAT...all normal) the neurologist said that I was having seizures but that we would probably never know why. He put me on Tegratol.

On the Tegratol, my skin smelled all the time and my head felt like someone had stuck a straw in my ear and filled my head full of air. So after about two months, I quit taking it and never returned to the doctor again.

I would have what my husband and I call a “freak out” or seizure several times a day. I just learned how to deal with them or at least how to pretend I was dealing with them.

About two months ago, I went to the oral surgeon to have some teeth extracted. I hate the dentist. They had to put me under to do this. Now both stress and tiredness seem to cause seizures in me, so no surprise, I had two seizures in the dental chair. The dentist refused to continue outside of a hospital and without written consent of a neurologist.

I moved to West Virginia from California about a year ago, so I had to find a new neurologist. This one asked me so many questions. Our visit seemed to take forever. He finally diagnosed me with TLE and placed me on Topamax, and I promised him that I would not go off the medication without talking to him.

I have noticed that many things seem to either trigger a seizure or I just notice them before a seizure:
The smell of: Paints, glues, aerosol sprays, WD-40, Nail polish, Nail polish remover, gasoline, markers…Stress and sleepiness. Visuals: Mirrors, corners, points, my hands ( which makes doing many activities difficult) flashing/flickering lights, stuttering images. And I hate ECHOES!

There are also many things I’ve noticed have changed about myself. I can no longer spell or use good grammar. I have trouble remembering even basic vocabulary. Sometimes when people speak to me, it takes a bit of time (and repetition on their part) before I understand them.

Oh and this may sound weird but, sometimes, before a seizure, I hear a small clicking inside my brain. It makes me feel kind of panicky. I know a seizure is coming. It usually precedes the déjà vu.