i feel alone and scared - Epilepsy Message Board

violarose2 · 08-23-2003, 12:28 AM

today i had a petite mal at a store. i always have somebody around me w/ i am out- since I cant drive. well my girls start kindergarten on monday

so i will be volunteering in their classroom

and what if I have a seizure???? espicially a grand mal? i want to cry at the thought of that. I dont like the girls teacher

and I am afraid I am going to encounter my first prejuduce about being sick. i am at my wits end of having to be 'sick' in the first place already.

i have silent migrains because i have seizures now(my eye vision is fuzzy) comes and goes

and i dont like petite mals because i cant move, cant speak but i can hear the people talk to me, but i cant respond. i feel like my body is betraying me. i feel like an idiot. i just hate this!

we are having money problems and i cant even go out and get a job to help out because I am 'sick' - i have no problem working, i subsituted teaching w/ the girls were 2 because we needed money. i pray disability works out.

i get seizures w/ i wear my body out, if i do too much during the day, if i get over heated, if i am running here and there, i feel like my body betrays me, i am 31 and sometimes i think getting one of those scout carts(sp?) motorized chairs would help me save my energy w/ there is an organized event and there would be alot of walking to do.

and this is all because i got viral spinal menegities really really bad in october.

LisaGuthrie · 08-23-2003, 06:44 AM

Good morning Viola

So, hate to hear you are having a bad time of things. I don't have the issues of E and the feeling like I can't control my body, but there are days that I feel that mine is wearing me down as well.

Four years ago I got a Kidney infection that lead to a blood infection, I was in the hospital for 3 days and had to return to work the morning after I was discharged because the rent was due and I didn't have sick leave and I was a single momma. Well to make a long story short the blood infection lowered my immune system since I didn't stay down for the 2 weeks that I was told to and I still have trouble with getting down physically. I'm 39 and there are days that I feel 70.

Some of the things that I've found that help are all triggers of E. Get enough rest, sleep and just down time, eat right - fresh fruits and veggies, work out. Taking care of these things work most of the time. If you're not, give them a try.

As far as seizing in the class room. You would be there for the kids not the teacher if you really think about it, but be open with her before you ever get to the class room. Do you have an aura, are there days that you know are going to be harder then others? If so explain that you may not be there sometimes and it could be short notice. If you have no warning, see about getting a video about E to show to the class, explain in simple terms what it is and how you got it. Even little kids understand being sick.

Don't know if any of that helps, but - know you are in my thoughts and prayers. (((Hugs)))

Lisa

neuronz-on-the-fritz · 08-24-2003, 09:02 AM

there- that better-??? MY opinions are gone...

[This message has been edited by neuronz-on-the-fritz (edited 08-25-2003).]

violarose2 · 08-24-2003, 10:58 AM

i am kind of shocked by neurons reply. i came to the board needing support and hugs, not a vicious reply. i can list all of the 'bad' things that have happened to me. I am a survivor, but i think that i need to vent to. call it therapy. I was really scared and feeling very alone w/ i posted. i had nobody really to talk to. they can sympathize, but they are not in my shoes.

KittyMom · 08-24-2003, 11:44 AM

Viola,

You are very correct in thinking that you can come to this board for support. I am here and there are many others who will be more than happy to help you thru what is happening. I know what you mean, as strong as you are and as well as you are dealing with this sometimes you just need a soft shoulder to cry on. That is normal and a perfectly acceptable feeling. My friends call me "The Rock" because of everything that happens in my life in just one day yet I am still happy and positive. I too need a break and to vent. When I do I find that I can better deal with the problems at hand. Venting doesn't mean you are giving up or are weak, it just means your plate is full and you need to empty some of the things on there that you don't need.

Go ahead sweetheat and vent until your hearts content. You will be better after....Trust Me!!

God Bless you dear,
KittyMom

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Mother of 3 beautiful kids and wife to a Great husband! I love helping others...it helps me grow!