Venting - My Boss doesn't get it - Epilepsy Message Board

Ashnan · 10-24-2003, 04:08 PM

Okay, I have two bosses at work. They are husband and wife and run the company together.

I have been honest with them about having seizures and then Epilepsy once diagnosed. And when the meds were causing bad side effects, they were understanding. Steve specifically said that he wasn't encouraging me not to take the meds, but that he had to know how long finding the right med was going to take and that he would try to be patient.

Anyway, about a week ago, Amanda came to me and asked if I could attend a meeting/dinner with her because Steve could not go. I thought I would be helping her out so I said ok.

A day before the event, Amanda says that she will not have the time to attend, but she wants me to go anyway (except that the company won't pay for the dinner now, so just attend the meeting).

The morning of the event, my car broke down. I asked around at work (we only have 4 employees, not including the bosses) but no one could go with me. I had told them previously that I would no longer be driving the company vehicles (never actually drove them anyway) because of the liability of the epilepsy. I am barely keeping my license, so I don't feel comfortable.

I had no way to get there as the meeting was an hour drive from where I work (1:45 from where I live) and no cab service. I explained this to Steve and he said "okay, well, I understand."

Amanda said, "Epilepsy is a poor reason to not drive the company vehicles." to another employee, not to my face and that they "put up with enough because of it as it is."

I didn't let her know that I heard this, just wanted to let her vent and move on, but Amanda will not speak to me now. If I speak to her, she just looks at me but says nothing.

I'm I wrong in thinking that she is being childish and petty? Should I drive the company vehicles, even though it makes me uncomfortable to do so?

yolo · 10-24-2003, 08:45 PM

Hi Ashnan,

I dropped the mouse and lost the nice long reply to your question. So heres the quick and dirty version. I think you boss is a controling so and so. She's bad news. I have found that the only way to win in situations like this is to let the boss win even though you know you are right. I would send her a note saying "I should have driven to that meeting and I won't let you down again." Then I'd work my butt off for the next couple of weeks or so. And if you are smart and I think you are you'll start looking for something else just in case. I'm sometime way off base so lets see what others are thinking...

Yolo other half

gerry

Krazykcio · 10-24-2003, 09:32 PM

Hi,
I agree that you should look for another job, but I also think you're being subtly discriminated against...by being punished for choosing not to take a chance....which would benefit THEM I might add! Plus, what's her name...bosslady...is creating a hostile work environment, which is another violation. If you can find something else I would. If not, keep track of any problems, and see if you can find a co-worker that can go to bat for you if you need to report any ADA violations. Good luck! Keep us posted. Kathy

robinrobin · 10-25-2003, 12:15 AM

i am proud of u sticking up your guns, what would of happened if something occured while u drove there cars??? they would of been even meanier. ugh, why do people have to be this wayyyyyyy

momof3mjt · 10-25-2003, 07:38 PM

First of all I have to say she was VERY unprofessional by talking to someone else about a problem with you.
That was the first thing that hit me, I think I would ask to talk to her, with someone else in the room for witness or verification and I would call her on it. It doesn't sound like you could make it much worse around there. Then I would subtly talk about discrimination, like she is subtly discriminating against you....maybe even leave a pamphlet somewhere about discrimination against disabilities. Then I would go back to work, be as professional as you can, and while you are working...LOOK FOR ANOTHER JOB!

She doesn't sound like the type of person who deserves to have an honest person like you working for her. She should be thankful you are trying to keep everyone, including her cars safe!!!

Lindy