I am so sorry for the struggle you are going through. I also take keppra. I am sorry about your crying spells. All though I have not experienced that with keppra, I did have a stroke in Jan. 2010 and had a spell of uncontrollable crying. I could see I dog on TV and it would make me cry - it was the weirdest thing. But my point is the keppra re-adjusts our brain patterns. Just like my stroke did and I didn't feel like myself so does keppra do the same thing. My seizures are due to a symptom of my stroke. I was just starting to feel better and the seizures started. This keppra makes me feel like I was right after I had a stroke. I am confused and fatigued, but I don't have the paranoia that came from a stroke.
Look my friend I am not saying you had a stroke. I am just saying I understand the crying and from my experience when our brains are altered (and they are by keppra) you never know how the outcome is going to find out. The doctors do not either. They don't walk on water, though some of them think they do. They are trying to tell us things that they do not even experience. So they can give us drugs, but they never took them and they never had a seizure, so how the hell do they know? I'm sorry. I really like my doctors, but after a stroke and now epilepsy and I sit and listen to them tell me I should do this and that? I always want to say back. " You take a day here in my shoes, and then come back and tell me what to do!!! You are clueless buddy." Sorry my friend. I hope that didn't sound mean.
I just think that keppra has good and bad. I haven't had any seizures since taking keppra, but I am also losing my hair out. And I understand that you lost your love for life. I am not really depressed, but I used to really like to laugh and have fun even after my stroke. but since keppra I feel like a zombie. I can literally sit here and look out of a window for 15 or 20 minutes and look at nothing. So I wish you will. I would not be too hard on yourself. I am so sorry this is happening to you at such a young age. But I have found that our weakness become our strength. Don't hold your crying back. just cry it back as all you can and one day it will stop and you will be stronger for it. You also have a wonderful view of life that most of you peers could not even think about. You thoughts are about life and truth and the purpose of it all, while most of your friends are just getting drunk, so you can use your "weakness" to your advantage. You don't have to fit in. Believe me 19 will be gone in a flash. You have a gift the that world needs of your perfect different skills. As hard as this sounds, don't worry about what everybody thinks about you. You already know 100% of what they even thought of. You are perfect like you are. As far as the keppra, I don't know. I know that I have been on other drugs and our bodies get used to it. But if you really can't handle it, ask the doctor to try another drug. There are dozens out there. It is like rolling the dice with drugs and epilespy.