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Old 02-02-2004, 05:19 AM   #1
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sweet28 HB User
Unhappy overweight son

Hi I've been really worried about my son...First of all he lives with his grandmother and hes way over weight and hes only 12...He is supposed to be on a diet eating healthier foods but my mother lets him eat what he wants...I'm scared that hes gonna have alot of problems as he gets older..I mean he already has a breathing problem any excercize he does he can't even breath the doctor gave him an inhaler...I'm affraid that in the future he might even die...Hes 197 pounds at 12 and if he keeps going this way he will end up with a heart attack...I tell my mother about this and she justs ignores me...I think the only way hes going to lose weight and be healthy again is that he leaves my mothers house and goes to a program or something because she lets him eat anything he wants...any advise??? thankyou

 
Old 02-02-2004, 06:24 AM   #2
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Naxis HB User
Re: overweight son

That is very unhealthy and obviously potentially dangerous to him in long and short terms, but I don't know what your family/living situation is or how much control you have over whet he does. "Sending him somewhere" isn't necessarily going to do anything and might make him feel punished. Both of you should be trying to educate him rather than leaving him to his own devices. I'm sure he doesn't like being "the fat kid" and getting him on the right track now will make all the difference in the world. Get him interested in activities to get him exercising. Wrestling, ballgames, rollerblading, hiking... Have him bring his inhaler if he has to, but staying sedentary is going to compound his problems. And of course eating properly is extremely important. Help him understand why junk food is junk. Remember at 12, you feel immortal, so appealing to his health sense might not work. I'd work toward his self esteem. Anyway, I'd do whatever you are able to as it is probably going to impact him for the rest of his life.
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Old 02-02-2004, 11:33 AM   #3
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chitrick HB User
Re: overweight son

Quote:
Originally Posted by sweet28
Hi I've been really worried about my son...First of all he lives with his grandmother and hes way over weight and hes only 12...He is supposed to be on a diet eating healthier foods but my mother lets him eat what he wants...I'm scared that hes gonna have alot of problems as he gets older..I mean he already has a breathing problem any excercize he does he can't even breath the doctor gave him an inhaler...I'm affraid that in the future he might even die...Hes 197 pounds at 12 and if he keeps going this way he will end up with a heart attack...I tell my mother about this and she justs ignores me...I think the only way hes going to lose weight and be healthy again is that he leaves my mothers house and goes to a program or something because she lets him eat anything he wants...any advise??? thankyou
First...you have to shoot your mother!! Just kidding!

But seriously...you must put your foot down with your mother. Your son is a food addict. And your mother is an enabler. I am guessing that your mom is also fat; and likes eating whatever she wants also. Right? She doesn't just "let" him eat whatever he wants. She is the one bringing it into the house! I tend to doubt that he is the one doing the grocery shopping, or driving himself to fast food places etc...

There really is no good advice to give, until you and your mother begin working together, to deal with this very serious problem.

Good Luck!

 
Old 02-02-2004, 01:17 PM   #4
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mjmaciver HB User
Re: overweight son

Quote:
Originally Posted by sweet28
Hi I've been really worried about my son...First of all he lives with his grandmother and hes way over weight and hes only 12...He is supposed to be on a diet eating healthier foods but my mother lets him eat what he wants...I'm scared that hes gonna have alot of problems as he gets older..I mean he already has a breathing problem any excercize he does he can't even breath the doctor gave him an inhaler...I'm affraid that in the future he might even die...Hes 197 pounds at 12 and if he keeps going this way he will end up with a heart attack...I tell my mother about this and she justs ignores me...I think the only way hes going to lose weight and be healthy again is that he leaves my mothers house and goes to a program or something because she lets him eat anything he wants...any advise??? thankyou
Kids need a role model, infact, one of the main reason's I became a bodybuilder is because I knew my dad was. you should invite him to come over WHILE YOU WORKOUT, Infact, from the age of 9-13, my dad had me carry all the plates over and put them on and off the bars, carry over his dumbell's etc. (and that was alot of weight) at age 13, I started working out (light) Make him workout, but don't make him think he is. just tell him you "need his help" and have him do things for you. (anything he does, you must also do, that way he feels as though he's helping and not, as Naxis says, Being punished) just get him involved is all you have to do. And yes, if he sees you eating healthy, in time, he will too (hint hint). Don't put him on an official diet, doesn't matter how overweight a kid is that isn't fair, and you will be considered the bad guy.
You have to help him to start making informed decisions about what he eats so that he chooses to eat healthy, and isn't forced to.

that's my opinion/experience, take it or leave it

talk to ya later
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Old 02-02-2004, 02:15 PM   #5
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dfwgoodguy HB User
Re: overweight son

Well the first thing you have to do is limit his eating. This obviously hasn't been going on, or he throws a tantrum if he doesn't get any. But its not gonna be easy with a kid that has been eating whatever he wants to the age of 12. He is not gonna wanna workout, limiting his food would be the first step. This one is going to be difficult because his guardian doesn't care what he is eating so he is not going to care and get WAY worse. I think getting him out of these surroundings might be the only way to help him.

This needs to be handled ASAP too. I have seen kids like what your describing and they get beyond help once they hit their middle teens. Limiting the foods he eats and the quanity being eaten is gonna be your best bet till he gets a little older. Good luck to you

::EDIT:: mjm had a good post I posted before reading.

Last edited by dfwgoodguy; 02-02-2004 at 02:17 PM.

 
Old 02-02-2004, 02:46 PM   #6
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JLKH HB User
Re: overweight son

It sounds like you know how you would handle this... is there any way your son can live with you? I don't mean to get to personal or anything just sounds like as long as your mother isn't listening to you or helping the situation that you're going to have a hard time helping him.

If that's not possible what about a doctor visit? Maybe if you and your mom both went took him for a health check up having the doctor tell your mother of the risks he faces would help her understand the problem and change.

 
Old 02-03-2004, 05:41 AM   #7
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chitrick HB User
Re: overweight son

I do have an example of a success story from my youth (not about me though). I went to school with "J.T.", a nice, but fat and basically lazy slob. That was until after the eighth grade (just about your son's age). That summer, his parents sent him to a football/fat farm for boys (somewhere in Texas). I have no idea of the name or how much it cost. But when school began (9th grade) and J.T. appeared...nobody even recognized him. The transition that took place over those 3 months, was absolutley miraculous! J.T. had always been too lazy to participate in any sports before that. He played frosh/soph football and ran track in the ninth grade. He made varsity the following year; and became the school's top performing running back in the school's history, by his senior year. Throughout high school, I'd never known anyone more muscular, or who had more girls falling over him. Though he did exclusively date just one girl all four years. I lost contact with J.T. after high school, but understand that he continued playing ball in college, on a scholarship.

 
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