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Old 01-03-2007, 08:01 PM   #1
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LB23 HB User
Need help getting my girlfriend to workout-serious

I love my 34 year old girlfriend regardless of how she looks. I have come to this board to ask this question because i understand the sensitivity in this area for most women and i want to take the best angle psycologically to ensure i don't offend her. Over time she has put on some weight and has become soft. She is developing a small stomach and i think has become comfortable with me which kind of hurts my feelings because i try to stay in tip top condition so she has the best boyfriend possible! (in the scope of physicality) This is an area where i am sensitive as you can see. I simply am devoted to my girlfriend and love for who she is but i want HER to want to be her best for ME. I thought if anybody is going to get it, you girls will. Thats why i am asking for your help. How would you get moitivated to hit the gym? What would your boyfriend have to say to motivate you? I want her looking her best for me...shes my woman, i am her biggest fan. I want to look at my woman and say damn I want her to want that for me.

 
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Old 01-03-2007, 09:35 PM   #2
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Re: Need help getting my girlfriend to workout-serious

I think that you should be wanting her to hit the gym for HER physical health....not so you can carry around a trophy girlfriend.

 
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Old 01-03-2007, 09:57 PM   #3
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Thumbs down Re: Need help getting my girlfriend to workout-serious

wow, please reread my post......it should be refreshing that i come and post on this board in hopes of approaching my girlfriend the right way....I DO NOT WANT A TROPHY GIRLFRIEND. I want my girlfriend to WANT to be the best for me. I want her to look amazing for herself. SHE doesn't feel good be heavier either and she needs motivation. And, please don't accuse me of being shallow...there is NOTHING wrong with wanting YOUR girlfriend to be great for herself and for your pleasure. Please, does anyone have a good angle on this?

Last edited by LB23; 01-03-2007 at 09:58 PM.

 
Old 01-03-2007, 11:14 PM   #4
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viccles HB User
Re: Need help getting my girlfriend to workout-serious

Personally, your motivations sound shallow to me. The SOLE reason should be for her own benefit

 
Old 01-04-2007, 12:53 AM   #5
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rheanna HB Userrheanna HB User
Re: Need help getting my girlfriend to workout-serious

LB23,

brattybrunette and viccles have written good responses. Here's another response from a woman.

You say you love your girlfriend "regardless of how she looks". But you actually want her to look different than she does. Where does the word "regardless" come in? What dictionary are you getting your definition from?

I think you should be honest with yourself and with your girlfriend. You want her to sculpt her body to please you. You should tell her the truth.

I think you should tell her that you are so displeased with how she looks that you posted on a forum to the world that you want her to be different. Personally, I DON'T think it's "refreshing that i come and post on this board in hopes of approaching my girlfriend the right way".

Then you should let her find a boyfriend who actually in fact DOES like her for herself "regardless of how she looks". And you should look for a trophy girlfriend.

--Rheanna

 
Old 01-04-2007, 11:12 AM   #6
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Husky McHusk HB User
Re: Need help getting my girlfriend to workout-serious

LB...women aren't gonna be able to help you here. As a man, I understand where you're coming from.

The fact of the matter is, you can't motivate her. She has to want it herself. However, you could try telling her you want her to go to the gym with you since you are both getting older and you want her to be healthy and fit for many,many more years together. Tell her you want to spend time with her, stay fit, and lose stress all at the same time. Get a family gym membership together and try to find a time you can both go together.

Could work...but if she doesn't care about her body...then theres nothing you can do to motivate her.

 
Old 01-04-2007, 11:22 AM   #7
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LB23 HB User
Re: Need help getting my girlfriend to workout-serious

The responses are overwhelming. Do we not acknowledge that the physical work in conjunction with the emotional and spiritual qualities. Why do we always never talk about the physical in the sense we talk about the other qualities.....because we think its shallow and we think of it as vanity. Especially in this situation in which i am a guy-expressing concern for her condition and look- and she a female who is not feeling 100% because of the way she looks anyway. Is there anyone who will argue if she did feel good about the way she looked, her emotional and spiritual side would fair better?! They would because they are all interdependant on one another. I want her to be better............NOT A TROPHY.

 
Old 01-04-2007, 11:26 AM   #8
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Re: Need help getting my girlfriend to workout-serious

thankyou for the reply HUSKY. At this point i think that might be the only option. Its hard motivating someone who just doesn't want to change the way they look for the better so they can actually FEEL AND LOOK better.

 
Old 01-04-2007, 01:11 PM   #9
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Ankh HB User
Re: Need help getting my girlfriend to workout-serious

hey lb

i see what you mean and yes, i am probably going to be bashed by female members,but whatever.

i know what you are saying.The problem is that it is difficult to express what you mean especially in a situation like this (in a forum).

anyway, what i would suggest is maybe doing some light exercise together like a nice brisk walk (on the beach maybe) the later a slow jog ( i know it might be too easy for you, but in order to start you have to allow her to start very slowly). the key here would be how you treat her (show her that you are madly in love with her) and location (i.e take her to a beautiful area and exercise there). try to make her understand that you would like to exercise TOGETHER with her (as a way of bonding) just like she maybe would want the 2 of you to go on a picnic or something. you could even maybe cycle together to a nice quiet place and spend "together-time" having a nice lunch or so.

okay, i probably sound corny, but as a woman myself, i would want to exercise with my boyfriend.

good luck!

 
Old 01-04-2007, 01:23 PM   #10
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YorkieLuvr HB User
Re: Need help getting my girlfriend to workout-serious

LB,

Your statement “She’s my woman”.. to a woman reads – she is my property. For ages women have been judged by “their man” and told these same things about their appearance. Usually this guy will be sliding in looks also, i.e., beer belly gut, etc.

That being said, you can’t make her want to change. Invite her to the gym so you can spend time together, not so she can live up to your physical expectations of her. If she goes, great – if not, maybe she isn’t the girl for you. Trust me, if you tell her you “want her to want to be the best for me”… you will be sorry.

 
Old 01-04-2007, 03:30 PM   #11
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LB23 HB User
Re: Need help getting my girlfriend to workout-serious

Ankh-good advice...by packaging it well you make the transition more palitable for the woman and even more interesting and fun.

Yorkie- you obviously don't know me that well then. I am a fan of MY WOMAN. Its not expressing property.wow a lot of women love to group all men's way of thinking together....thats ignorant. But i will try to invite her to excercise in some "fun" sort of way and let her decide.

 
Old 01-04-2007, 04:41 PM   #12
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Re: Need help getting my girlfriend to workout-serious

Quote:
Originally Posted by LB23
Ankh-good advice...by packaging it well you make the transition more palitable for the woman and even more interesting and fun.

Yorkie- you obviously don't know me that well then. I am a fan of MY WOMAN. Its not expressing property.wow a lot of women love to group all men's way of thinking together....thats ignorant. But i will try to invite her to excercise in some "fun" sort of way and let her decide.
I'm terribly sorry, my "ignorant" remarks were not meant to offend. Just a general observation on how "some" women might take your comments.

Best of luck to you.

 
Old 01-04-2007, 07:07 PM   #13
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Re: Need help getting my girlfriend to workout-serious

HI LB,

I think I can understand your POV although you have to recognize for your girlfriend that may not be her priority. If she's healthy and this is purely a looks issue rather than a health concern, her POV might be that you should be more accepting of people not being perfect in some areas. There's no right or wrong really just different points of view.

If she doesn't exercise at all then definitely suggest it as a way to spend time together and think of things that involve being active that she would consider enjoyable (sports, dancing (now there's a great exercise that men hate to do LOL) Don't pressure her though woman are always primarily judged on the way they look much more than men and it gets old pretty quick. Good Luck

 
Old 01-05-2007, 08:18 AM   #14
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KMocky HB User
Re: Need help getting my girlfriend to workout-serious

I've been down this road as well. You really can't say anything. What you can do is what others said - cook healthy meals together, do athletic type things (go hiking rather than to the beach for example), don't take her to places that encourage unhealthy habits. Don't vocalize it. She has to make her own decisions. If she still will not make changes, you have to ask yourself do you REALLY love her for who she is, or are you just kidding yourself to make yourself feel better about it? If you really do love her, tough luck. If not, come to terms with it.

 
Old 01-05-2007, 09:24 AM   #15
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Hitmen HB User
Re: Need help getting my girlfriend to workout-serious

Like already mentioned, start doing healthy things togethor. Start it off slow though. Start playing tennis, rollerblading, walking/jogging togethor in the park, etc. Then you can start inviting her to the gym with you to see how she likes it.

I understand what you're intentions are but you could've perhaps used better words to phrase your initial post which is why you're under attack by some members. My girlfriend started putting on some weight and she had a gym membership and wasn't using it. I didn't want to upset her in any way but I also wanted her to be healthy. So I would merely mention that if you have something you should use it and not let it go to waste (her gym membership). I never went further than that though. Thankfully, she's been going to the gym again regularly because of a friend's upcoming wedding that she wants to look good for. But you can't push anything upon her or anyone. If someone doesn't want to do something then they won't. Introduce her to it, see how she reacts and take it from there. But start off slow...
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