General exercise humour and stupidity
OK I am new in town and thought I would introduce myself.
I am one of the freaks you see in a number of gyms who evidently not only loves what they do but does some re***y bizarre and likely un-necessary stuff.
With this in mind I thought and to find out if anyone here has enough sense of humour to laugh at themselves and let others do the same I would explain some of the stupid things I have done and failed at with the reactions.
Plyometrics brilliant for building strength into the tendons and essential for anyone wanting explosive strength. Also reknowned for sapping energy fast and involving moves that can be funny to see go wrong.
Picture the scene, a stack step at just over navel height that I am using to jump over then take off for a long jump as soon as I land, so the jump over the stack is not even the plyometric, just the prep.
Last set, I decide to go for an extra last rep, despite feeling like I am about to die.
I walk around go for the jump and far from a gentle brush with one foot manage to hit the top cleanly with both feet sending the whole lot tumbling as I end up laid on the floor glad that the surface is slightly cushioned, but less happy that the plastic square under my side is not.
It's a lunchtime session the gym is busy but maybe there is a chance no-one noticed. As I stand up any such thought leaves as I notice between 20 and 30 people looking at me either concerned, restraining laughter or not bothering to be restrained.
I did the only thing I could think of gave a short bow and put my toys away.
For most people standing on unstable surfaces while training is simply a way of building core strength or making them think they are doing functional training. If you don't stand on unstable surfaces regularly it's not functional it's crazy. Medication I take for epilepsy means for a while after taking my large dose the floor feels like an unstable surface, so for me it is functional, and I am beyond crazy.
With a history that has involved quite a lot of dance my balance and core is pretty good so I am able to do some downright stupid things like push press standing on the wrong side of a bosu b***. This has gained me a few compiments about my core strength and one far more honest conversation.
'What happens when you f*** off?'
'Don't know, never happened.'
'But you have to f*** off. Why else do you think we watch you doing this stuff?'
That was a nice reminder that sometimes our purpose in life is to serve as a warning to others.
Not everything I do is stupid, in fact most of it isn't, and sometimes I get to be the person laughing.
I am not a big guy, natur***y scrawny but with many years of iron meaning I am a respectable 5' 10" (178cm) and 12 stone (168 pounds for the US, 76kg for everyone else)
I am one of these weirdos who likes to be underestimated so spend my time trying to get stronger rather than bigger and prettier. There are always a few of us at every gym, no-one understands why.
I was happily working on a nice little deadlift session, had set up for my 1RM and there were two young lads a little over my weight and shorter than me, with the classic arm shape that showed them as being far more into looking impressive than being it, you know normal people, and they gave a little laugh.
I looked across a little bemused and was met with 'Nothing personal just waiting to see you try and lift that.'
My instant thought was, cheeky little geets, and continued to do my rep with obvious effort but not st***ing or sign of potential failure.
My comment when I finished putting the weight down properly, 'Never underestimate balding old men!'
I think the part which they found most difficult to deal with was that even when I removed a 20Kg disc from either side, neither of them could move it.
One advantage with being old, I have been doing this a long time so the 180Kg (just under 400 pounds) lift is something I could not only do but have done a number of times and on numerous occasion gone above.
Gym goers should be able to laugh at themselves, we look ridiculous too often not to. There is the blown out expression at the bottom of a heavy squat that if someone erased the bar would look like we wer trying to jettison a Boeing 747 from our colon. Our seeming inability to see how insane it is to row miles and get nowhere.
And of course no matter how much any of us may deny it we do use the mirrors in the gym as more than simply training aids. The best example I have seen was one person performing dumbell arm curls across the front of his body while alternately looking at the mirror and his bicep to observe the pump, I think if his lips would have reached he would have given them a nice kiss each rep. This is the extreme, but we are *** guilty if not *** as blatant.
It was introduced to me a while ago that there are two types of people in the gym those who compliment themselves, 'that was a good rep', 'great set' etc. or those like me who insult themselves, it is not uncommon to hear me saying 'come on you lazy sonofabitch move it.'
Stupid things we say or effects of what we do can be amusing to others. examples being our walk the day after a good squat session that makes us look as though we have been given an enema with a traffic cone, and of course our declaration as we struggle to move of 'I ache like hell, that was great.'
Well that was a long intro. How many others are there willing to divulge thier own insanity, or give examples of what makes the fitness crew so funny to behold?