Cam94Z28

Hi,
I am 22 years old, ever since about the 2nd time i went back on Serzone for depression, I noticed a wierd thing my eyes were doing. The best way I can describe it is that my eyes seem to be staring off into space. Where normally you'd be able to look around and gather an entire scene, room, monitor, etc...What my eyes do is seem to always want to focus on one thing to be the center of focus. They act the way your eyes would normally act when your thinking intensely about something, and your eyes sort of "zone out", although in my case this can happen when i'm trying to read a web page, or a book, or doing something else where my eyes would not normally act this way.
If you ask me there are 3 different levels of focus that i notice....Normal vision, Cross-Eyed, and a state that is between normal vision and cross-eyed. The third state is the best way I can describe what my eyes are doing. If I constantly look around they seem to be ok, but if i look at any one thing for more than a second or two, they seem to stare off into it. Additionally, I have had an anomaly in my vision for a long time, and eye doctors(although i haven't seen one since shortly after i first noticed it) were unable to pinpoint it. Aside from floaters and the like that i've always had, I see what looks like a spinning mass of cells in my vision. This spinning mass is egg shaped, and usually fairly small(although it's size seems to change on demand sometimes). It usually lays horizontally, and always seems to stay at the same point in my vision(doesen't float around like floaters). Even if I close my eyes in a dark room I see it most of the time, if I'm thinking about it. With my eyes open it is always more pronounced if i look at a flat textureless wall, a single dark, or sometimes white color, a shaded area in a dimly lit room, or something black. This anomaly has existed far before my depression started, I guess the first time I noticed it was when i was 9 or 10 years old.

I've tried to come off the Serzone several times due to the risks of liver damage, and try other anti-depressants, the worst of which was Effexor, without a doubt. Each time I start building the Serzone again, I notice the eye problems are back. Previously when i was on it, this only seemed to manifest itself early in the morning, and late at night once I got tired. But the last time I was on Serzone, this lasted the 6 months I was on Serzone again, before I decided to try Effexor. It almost seemed non-existent while i weaned off the Serzone and built up on the Effexor, but the Effexor eventually got me to the point where I could not sleep, and would jerk awake upon dozing off due to panic attacks the Serzone had controlled. It also caused weakness, and my legs and groin to feel like they were both burning, and cold at the same time. After 64 hours of hell(not sleeping), and going back on the Serzone and Ambien to help with sleep, I finally began sleeping again. Now 2 weeks into the Serzone, I still feel markedly weak most of the time, with my eye issues worse than ever.
Also, much of the time my memory seems horrible. I'll be reading a web site, or a book, and may only remember a few lines of an entire page. Or when I look someone in the eye while they're talking to me, I find that I'm often not even hearing what they say. I have to consciously make myself think, listen to them now, they're talking to you. Then I have to repeat what they just said in my mind to remember it. This also seemed to improve somewhat during the transition from Serzone to Effexor.

I've been back on the serzone for 2 weeks again. I really feel I should stay on the Serzone if possible, as I've had 2 blood tests done, with no liver problems, and it seems to help tremendously with sleep, and Panic Attacks. Although it's hard to function much of the time with the eye/memory issues(Don't feel like I would do very good going back to college, etc...)
Has anyone else had eye issues like this while on Serzone? Also, does anyone know of something that might improve my memory/concentration while on the serzone?

I started seeing a therapist last week, perhaps they can help deal with the panic so I may stop taking the Serzone.

Sorry for the length of this post, and the fact that i went off in several directions. I guess I felt like venting while i was explaining my problem.

Thanks,
-David-

[This message has been edited by Cam94Z28 (edited 12-16-2002).]