Should I Confront My Husband - OC Abuse?
Hello, I hope some of you can offer advice/suggestions. My new husband & I currently live apart because he's been mentally/emotionally abusive towards me. A close friend of his contacted me recently to tell me he thinks a lot of our problems are due to my husband abusing his 80mg oxycontin prescription - shocking news to me as my husband has always been 'anti-drug abuse'. It all makes a lot of sense now....mood swings, volatile behavior, depression, suicidal threats, frequent use of nasal spray (his friend said he crushes & snorts his pills), frequent nausea & headaches, serious financial problems that bewilder me (how much do these pills sell for on the street?), dental problems that he refuses to see a dentist about, paranoid & dillusional behavior...to name a few. His friend is concerned that he could be using so much that he fears one day my husband will not wake up. I'm still shocked at how well this problem has been concealed from me since I met him 4 yrs ago. During a recent depression period, he was openly biting off a piece of pill about every hour & a half. I did (gingerly) threaten to take them away & he informed me the bottle is hidden. My husband is currently out of town until Jan. 11th. I want to confront him yet somewhat fear doing so because he's been so volatile at times. I did contact his dr. today and left a message & briefly mentioned the nature of my concerns - begging that my phone call be kept confidential. The dr. has not yet returned my call, which would allow me to make him aware of the above behaviors and then some. I hope someone can advise me as to whether or not I am taking the right approach here. I love him dearly in spite of the way he has treated me & he says and seems to love me. He will probably deny all if I confront him & could possibly explode. Would it be best for me to leave the matter between him and his dr. for now? Or should I conquer my fears and gently approach the matter, reinforcing the fact that help is available? I've also considered contacting the psychologist that we (then just I) see to ask if he'd contact my husband's dr. I have even thought about an intervention but fear his reaction to that - it would embarrass him. I do not want to shame him but I want him to realize how this addiction has been slowly destroying his business, his finances and his marriage. Please help me figure out what, if anything, I should do in my situation. Any advice will be tremendously appreciated. I know this is his problem to conquer - I am not consumed with it & do take care of myself. Yet it is hard to do nothing...now that I know what I know...when you love and care about someone with all your heart.