My husband is addicted to ketamine...can anyone offer any help??
My husband has a chronic ketamine addiction. He has lost a frightening amount of weight, and is suffering debilatating stomach pains...but I cannot get him to see a doctor. Ironically, I didn't see the problem for quite some time...and I have to admit that when I first found out about it...I was not as supportive as I could have been. But I revisited my own addiction issues, and lately I have been trying very hard to be there for him...to reduce the amount of stress in his life...and to let him talk without judgement or reaction from me. Sometimes I feel more like his mother than his wife, but my main goal is to help him stay off the k one day at a time, and to try and regain some weight, so that he will actually FEEL well enough to start making changes for himself.
As is common with ketamine addiction, he has become "spiritual"...which I am not demeaning in any way. It is not quite the classic "messiah" complex that I've read about, but he believes that he understands why he is here.
Don't get me wrong, I am not judgemental about that...and had he reached that state under normal healthy circumstances, then I would be ecstatic, as in many ways it has affected him positively...he no longer has a temper (which was a big stumbling block for us), has come to terms with the death of his father at an early age, and has reevaluated what is important to him (mainly our children and me), is completely empathetic, and is generally a wholeheartedly good person. In fact, my kids and I feel truly loved by him, which is why I am so scared that his health is so fragile. My kids are far too young to understand, and would feel abandoned and angry.
He has become completely vegan...so it makes it twice as hard for me to give him meals that will replace his body fat, and I am literally watching him waste away!
He knows and admits that he has a problem...so this is not a denial issue, and he has read as much information as is available on the drug itself, but unfortunately because he knows so much about it, he considers it "different" than other narcotics, and so doesn't believe the "just stop, get it out of your system, and get some help and support" formula that I told him worked for me with my own addiction (many years ago) is applicable to him.
To make things worse, he works in an environment where he is surrounded and tempted all the time, and has constant access to ketamine. And now he is at the point where he is justifying a bump here and there because it is the only thing that will stop the crippling stomach pains, so I'm not sure that he ever gets a chance to detoxify.
We are still doing the "24 hours at a time" routine, and he has begged me (with heartbreaking emotion) not to check him into a hospital. He believes that his children, coworkers and friends will think less of him, and honestly believes that he is "nearly done" with the drug on his own. I believe him. And I would be less scared and more inclined to let him try were he not in such terrible shape physically. I'm just scared that it will kill him before he gets the chance.
I have suggested a holiday....just to get him out of the environment for a couple of weeks...and away from the stress and anxiety that I know make it so easy to relapse...I'm hoping that if I can get him to rest, go 2 weeks without the chemical in his system, and eat proper regular meals, then maybe he can make enough progress on his own to give him the kickstart he needs. But if that doesn't help then I am going to have to risk the feelings of betrayal ruining our marriage, and check him into a hospital anyway. Having him alive and hating me is far better than me supporting him literally to death!
Can anyone who has dealt with ketamine addiction give me any ideas on what else I can do? I am trying not be slip back into co-dependence, and am taking good care of myself and my kids, but all the resources I have sought out locally tend to focus on anger and guilt shifting and denial, and none of those classic symptoms seem to apply here.
Sorry for the long post...I am just hoping to reach someone who can relate.
Thanks for listening