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Old 05-06-2007, 08:13 AM   #1
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MarlaKate HB User
Alcoholic Mother

I'm 29 and live in the same city as my parents. My mother is an alcoholic... in cycles. I never know when I call or see her whether she will be drunk (or have been drinking) or if she'll be sober.

When she's sober, she's great. When she's been drinking, she is so weird (I'd say I encounter this about 1-3 times per month). It is really frustrating because it often occurs at social situations, and it is embarassing... and keeps me on edge.

The other night we were all at a party and she was drunk and acting weird. I didn't want to talk to her at all because I was mad and uncomfortable.... but I didn't want to be rude. Plus, I feel sorry for her - she's obviously drinking to cope... I don't want to make it worse... but after a night like that I just want nothing to do with her....

I have brought up her drinking to her, and to my father... and both deny there is a problem. This has been a problem over the last 10 years or so... she didn't drink when we were young.

My sister (31) also lives here, but is married, and also has no problems at all ignoring my mother or being rude to her. My sister has never brought up the drinking, just really separates herself from it.... and is able to be kind of cold about it. I am more empathetic and emotional, so it's harder for me to just let it go.

I try to realize that it is not my issue and not let it get to me, but of course it just does. I see my parents 1-2 times per week and talk to them 3-4 times per week. I am single, and so I do need additional support/help/love from them, so I dont' wish to detach myself from them - plus, my dad is wonderful, and my mom is wonderful 2/3 of the time.

Does anyone have any suggestions/thoughts on dealing with a person like this? Thanks

 
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Old 05-06-2007, 09:13 AM   #2
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Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: salt lake city, utah, usa
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utahhoping HB User
Re: Alcoholic Mother

I am sure you have heard it before, but go to Alanon. You will be surrounded by people who can relate to you and offer you some empathy.

 
Old 05-06-2007, 04:08 PM   #3
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Join Date: Dec 2006
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Dantheinsane HB User
Re: Alcoholic Mother

Honestly, as Alanon would say, "Love with detachment." Don't expect overnight miracles but just hope you can plant many seeds.

 
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