My 17 year old son is abusing marijuana... I "let it go on" initially because I figured he'd experiment and move on. He hasn't. His grades have dropped, he is disrespectful, lazy and stays away from home as long as he can.
His father died in March so I attribute the exceleration of it all to that somewhat. I've thrown out all the pariphenalia I've found. I've talked to him till I'm blue in the face. I'm at my wits' end. Anybody have any experience, strength and hope to share along this line?
I'm so scared for him!
I have a son 16 years old who came and told me that he is using pot, I asked him why? he told me because he knows that i use drugs and that when i was his age i smoked to! I am clean 4 months now and can only show him how drugs ruined my life and killed my dreams of being a pro baseball player! I can only share with you my thoughts that pot is a gateway drug, it was for me, Have someone a guy if know any who abused drugs and that him tell of how it ruined his dreams. Go to a na meeting yourself and learn all you can about pot. You can not stop him, he must want to stop and help himself! I am now living a nightmare with my sons every move but i still treat him like my son and tell him of the dangers, Best of luck and please come back and tell your thoughts, Randy
I work with high schoolers, have a 21 year old son, used drugs in the past and heard that balony excuse from them also.
When a teen tells me, well you used drugs before OLD MAN. I always reply with, "But we didn't know then what we know now about drugs and pot in particular, young wipper snapper!" That answer works pretty good. But sad to say it didn't help a single soul I know stop from using drugs if they were determined.
Mom, you will worry about your son until the cows come home, but don't stress it so much. When you find his drugs, paraphenlia, or him high just do what you do! Yell, toss it out, call the police.
If the boy is ready to do the crime let him do the time. You may not be able to change him but you don't have to make things easy for him also.
Write a letter to your son. I know you have talked to him - but write to him. Put it on his pillow. Don't blame - don't shame him for what he is choosing to do - instead tell him how you are worried, scared - that one drug now a days seems to lead to even more dangerous drug use. I knew a friend that called the police on her son - he left and was found dead in California - so I don't know if I would ever go that far.
Share your concerns - talk to him in this letter about how he might be feeling for the loss of his father - ask him to talk to you - let him know you are an open door any time to talk to - and listen. I know that is hard - I have a 10 year old - so no - I don't know the teen years - yet - but so far - if I open the door to let her know that I will just listen -duck tape my mouth shut and just listen - they tend to open up. Sometimes - as a parent it is so hard to "listen" without jumping in and down their throat. It's a parent thing to do - to save them. But sometimes - kids just need to know - first - your concerned - your there if they need you - and you will do anything to help.
Write to your boy. Don't lecture him. Just let him know that you are this open door to talk - more so - listen to whatever it is he is dealing with. Maybe harder said than done - but I think that approach works better than beating it out of them and calling the cops. My friend is devastated by what she did to her son - she is now divorced and has been in and out of rehab herself for suicide attempts. Personally I couldn't believe she did that to him. But I listen to her - still to this day and she knows she over reacted.
Write to your boy - put it on his pillow - let him know how much you love him.
Green i agree with loretta and take it from me i have a 21 yr old that went thru 30 day re-hab from opiate abuse..he is now something like 78 days clean. her idea is great, i wrote him letters while he was in the rehab and he told me that they made an impact on his recovery and that he will always keep them. the problem here is that pot might be the beginning of a bigger problem so please try to keeep the communication going...dont stop talking, try not to nag (thats hard) but keep on talking tell him he can tell you anything. tell him you will do your best to help him...17 is a rough age and hes been thru alot.drugs numb and thats what hes looking for...does he see a therapist? if not, line one up for him.