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Old 08-22-2007, 01:34 PM   #1
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Lost27 HB User
Unhappy Husband addicted to percocet.

Hello, My husband is addicted to percocets and has been for about a year now. That I know he has also try cocaine, but do not believe he is use cocaine anymore. At least its not coming up his drug tests. He discovered how it feel to percocet with beer and he would only use them to party and not very often from what I knew. Then thing seem to had got worst after I found out he was talking to another woman behind my back on new years right at midnight. I was ready to leave him but my kids and him begged me to give him another chance. Then a little later I started to notice a big change in him. He started with more lies about who he talks to, where he is goes, who he is with, and what he has been doing with our money. At first I thought it was my fault for pushing him away and that was why he is so depressed. Sometimes I still think it my be my fault why he has fall this much. So thing seem to be get worst. I seem to have lost some jewelry. His aunt hear he took this to some woman and trade them for pills. Of course he denies it. He goes as far as "putting on his kids". Those word use to mean a lot to him, but it hard to believe they still do. He also much rather I think he is talking to another woman, then to be honest with me and tell me the this woman is who he buying the pills from. He is seeing a psychiatrist and a counselor, but he does not seem to tell them the truth about his problems. He also want more meds. everytime he see the doctor. He will take anything that will give him that feeling. The doctor took away his percocets, xanox, addavin. He now only take cymbalt, lexapro, & ambein. He is also temporary disable through his employer. I have no idea what to do how, to handle or even help him. I wish I could stay with him 24-7 but I can't. My income is all we really have right now. This past week he made a promise to the kids that he was no longer going to take anymore pills, drugs, alcohol. This morning his mom tells me that she is missing $20 and has no pay pills left. She believes he took them. I don't know if to believe her because he has seem clean these past few days. His family I am also sure they do not like me you see his sister and brother just recently became good friend with woman he was cheating/talking to in Dec. He asked them to stop speaking to her because it was causing problems between us. They said no they will talk to who they want. I don't know much about the mom talking to this woman, but she always tell me what my husband is doing, and tells me not to tell him I heard it from her. I feel alone and don't know who I am anymore please help. Feeling lost and even stupid..
Lost27

 
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Old 08-22-2007, 02:14 PM   #2
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bellissimo45 HB User
Re: Husband addicted to percocet.

i'm sorry to hear you are having trouble. the most important advice i think i can give you is to think about you and your children first. your children are the most important and this behavior does affect them. do what you think is best for them.

 
Old 08-22-2007, 02:48 PM   #3
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Lost27 HB User
Re: Husband addicted to percocet.

Thank You for your comment, but the kids don't want leave their dad. They have said this to me many times. I also told them that if anytime they want to go to let me know and we would.To be truthful he's still a good dad, not the greatest like he use to be but he is still responsable tours the kids. I think that is why it's so hard. I also think about things being the other way around and I would want him to stick with me and help me get better not just take everything from me that means something to me. Maybe I am just fooling myself.

 
Old 08-22-2007, 02:50 PM   #4
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Lost27 HB User
Re: Husband addicted to percocet.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Lost27 View Post
Thank You for your comment, but the kids don't want leave their dad. They have said this to me many times. I also told them that if anytime they want to go to let me know and we would.To be truthful he's still a good dad, not the greatest like he use to be but he is still responsable tours the kids. I think that is why it's so hard. I also think about things being the other way around and I would want him to stick with me and help me get better not just take everything from me that means something to me. Maybe I am just fooling myself.

 
Old 08-22-2007, 04:22 PM   #5
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td9997 HB User
Post Re: Husband addicted to percocet.

tell the woman yourself to hitt the frickin highway !!

love your husband and kids the best you can!

it will take time!

dont pick the wound whilst healing!

Life has it problems!

everyone struggles!


good luck wif it!



teddy

 
Old 08-22-2007, 06:40 PM   #6
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butrfligirl28 HB Userbutrfligirl28 HB User
Re: Husband addicted to percocet.

No child wants to leave their parent, even ones being abused. Keeping children in a home with an addict, and someone that is not even in treatment is harmful for children. I am also wondering why the kids are a part of the conversation about whether you leave your husband and their father. What do you expect them to say? They should not have to be part of such an adult decision and an adult conversation. You put kids in this type of role and inevitably they will feel responsible one way or another.

This is not their problem. This is your and your husbands problem. You are allowing an intoxicated adult around your children. He may drive with them while under the influence, he may put them in dangerous situations, ect. Your children should not be given the role of your marriage counselor. For their sake, practice age appropriate behavior and conversations. Your job is to protect them, not immerse them into your husband addiction.

 
Old 08-23-2007, 02:39 PM   #7
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Lost27 HB User
Re: Husband addicted to percocet.

Hi butrfligirl, I understand what you mean about not getting the kids involved in this, but this conversation came up when I was leaving my husband for cheating on me. I had to tell the kids we where separating. My husband was the one who through in the details why I was leaving him. Then that is when the kids asked me to forgive him and I told them ok, not just for them but for myself as well, and told them it would take time for me to forgive my husband and if at any point they had enough of us then I would too. I did make it clear that all of this had nothing to do with them, but I can see where you say later on the kids might think its their fault. I will make sure that they do understand none of this has been or will ever be their fault.
Thank you for your comments.

 
Old 08-23-2007, 02:45 PM   #8
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Lost27 HB User
Re: Husband addicted to percocet.

Teddy, it is nice to sometimes hear something different other then, "you need to leave him". I really hope I am not doing wrong by trying to help him.
Thank You!!!

 
Old 08-23-2007, 03:09 PM   #9
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jules3 HB User
Re: Husband addicted to percocet.

butr, its very easy for people to put their opinions on boards like this..Nobody here is in the SAME EXACT shoes as you are, so nobody has the right to tell you to leave him. we all have addicts in our lives or are addicts, so we can relate to certain things..but as far as you leaving your husband, its easier said than done im sure.. for all different kinds of reasons love, financial, religion you have to do what you feel is right..but one thing i can tell you for sure is that an addict will not quit for anyone but themselves no matter how hard you try. good luck

 
Old 08-23-2007, 07:13 PM   #10
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td9997 HB User
Post Re: Husband addicted to percocet.

lost27
your not doing wrong by tryin to hold your family together
kids are very resilient they love you both
tell the butch "she aint woman enough to take your man"!


 
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