My initial suggestion is to watch the TV show "Intervention" on A&E. I have found a lot of insight into the mind of an addict (I'm a pain pill addict and my brother is an alcoholic) watching it. It sure drives home that nice people can be addicts, not just "skid row bums".
My own quick answer re understanding an addict's perspective: for me...I think I take pain medicine for a similar reason that any person has a drink at 7pm. It smooths out the rough edges. It gives me a sense of calmness and "ahhhh". Unfortunately, I use them to cope when it would be more healthy to feel pain (both physical and emotional). It becomes easier to pop a pill, rather than just deal my way through stress. Then the body becomes addicted and (my opinion) we keep taking drugs to avoid withdrawals ("w/d"), which can be horrible.
I'm here to listen anytime you need, whether now or months from now. Keep in touch and let us know how you and your son are doing.
Good you are getting involved. You could research on the internet what changes have happened to your sons brain, and why he will do most anything to get opiates, and why it is one of if not the hardest drug to quit. It will be a long while before he overcomes this, and your support and encouragement will help.
If you search the words "opiates brain receptors" you'll probably find a few interesting articles.
Once he's home, staying busy and exercising are 2 very healthy things he can do to help his recovery along.
I wish you both the best!! This has to be his fight, and he has to want it, but it can be done.
As an alcoholic/addict myself who has struggled with addiction and also the mother of an addict, I can tell you that what helped me the most was going to Alanon and therapy. You will learn a lot about addiction in those rooms and also get some much needed support. I'm glad to hear he is in rehab but I'm sure you get it that this may not be the end of the addiction problem. Unfortunately, the relapse rate is very high. If you have been reading here you know that by now. It takes a lot of time, there are many bumps or pot-holes in the road ahead. Learn all you can and number one is get some support for yourself. I can't stress enough how very important this step is.
Today my life is very good, I'm sober over 3 years and my son picked up a 1 year chip in November. I didn't think he was going to make it and he very nearly did not. Taking care of myself and seeking support is what helped me get through this very very difficult period. I seriously wondered during that time if I would ever feel joy and peace again. I am happy to say that is so for me today.
I feel for you! I, myself, have been in recovery for 9+ years ,.I've known
about my daughters addiction for several years. If you don't have addiction yourself, --you will NEVER understand his "mindset"--conpletely.
Two basic things:
(1) LOVE HIM---respect his "choices". (unless life or death matter0
(Don't make decisions for him----let him make Hs own mistakes in action and judgements, whichhe will learn from.
(2) Don't preach about ANYTHING to him.! He will be very defensive---becasue he already feels he is very wrong about things. Bite your tongue alot and listen to him when he talks. DO NOT take anything persoNLY may try to blame you, family, workl, etc...for everything. Just say, I am sorry that affected you so teribly, or "what can I do to make it better/
oh sister, im sorry,but im with your husband..dont forget i went down this road, son was in a 30 day rehab, came home ..n.a only for 8 mths...clean, than started up again..now hes going into an outpatient..28 days is NOT enough. i dont trust my son and i dont know when it will come back...maybe never, maybe next year...He has to earn it..he has put us thru hell (himself too)... When they say this is a long road, they aint kidding!!!! Keep posting