Re: Advice on how to talk to son
This is a great question. I too have a son who is 13, so I know what it's like to want to make sure we get our point across successfully.
With my daughter (18 years old now) and my son, I've always been open and honest about things. At least to a point that was age appropriate for them. I started open lines of communication from the get go about certain things, and much like you, don't allow them to hang with kids I know do drugs. In the same token though, you never truly know who is and who isn't using because some kids are sneaky.
Anyway, the only thing I can tell you is to be open and honest about the subject. Don't sugar coat it, but don't freak out if your son asks questions either. Some parents actually freak out if their kids ask about drugs. They immediately start assuming something that may not even be true, and then, in turn, come across as accusing their kids of doing drugs.
I figure, if my kids ask about something there is a reason for them asking, and I'd much rather them get information and education about certain things from me rather than some other kid who doesn't know his rear from a hole in the ground.
There are some television shows that deal with addiction such as Intervention. I don't know if you feel something like this might be too graphic for your son, but it does show the horrible things addiction can do to the addict as well as the family. Sometimes, the talk shows will have something about teen addiction as well. They don't seem to get as graphic as Intervention does, but they might be an option.
I honestly feel that honest and open communication is absolutely "Key" in this though. Unfortunately, sometimes no matter what you do, some kids will experiment or even still develope problems, but you just have to hope that whatever you do works. We can't have our eyes on them 24/7 so we have to do the best we can and hope & pray it stays with them.
I wish you the best of luck with this. Kids these days are exposed to so much so much earlier in life than we were. I feel for them.