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Old 05-28-2009, 04:14 AM   #1
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I have to taper, husband won't stay out of my meds

I take percocet 10 mg and usually 5 a day for about 5 years. My husband is obsessed with them. He cannot stay out of them. i hide them, but he always finds them. I started giving him one a day just keep him out of my hair, but he always wants more, so i give it to him sometimes. Now i am almost out and will have to taper before my next med check. I am resentful at him. He says the only way he can get off of them is if I stop taking them and get them out of the house, otherwise he is obsessed with them. I am 48 and he is 50. I feel foolish that we are going thru this at our age. I always thought i would have it together by now. I take tramadol too, which sometimes he takes the whole bottle. I have fibromyalgia.

also we are both alcoholics and met in aa. but now we are drinking, especially him. He has gotten so drunk that he passed out on the floor and peed his pants and one time he just peed on the floor because he said it was too dark to find the bathroom. I think i am ready to quit, and hit an aa meeting and then he brings it in the house, and it is just too tempting for me to stay out of it.

i would like to go to rehab, but they said i would have to be off the percocet and the valium i take before i could get in.

we have gone for counseling. my husband rages and flips out over the littlest thing. He is nothing like the person i married. I miss that person.

 
Old 05-28-2009, 04:38 AM   #2
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Re: I have to taper, husband won't stay out of my meds

First off I don't understand why AA is asking you to come off from medication that is for a ongoing medical condition, so that doesn't make sense. I know MANY recovering alcoholics that are on medication for some reason or another from anti-depressants to medical conditions, so if you really want the help w/ drinking then you need to talk further w/ the people at AA.

As far as the medication, I can relate..I had to not only hide my vicodin from my now ex-husband I had to hide my medication from my in-home staff I had that helped take care of my disabled son and even from my family members...
I still hide my medication to this day.

The only advice I can see is that if you want the help you can only help yourself you can not help him and now is the time to ask yourself what you really want to do w/ your life. If you want to quit drinking and do not have the will power for when he brings it in the home then maybe its time to step outside of the home and get a hold of your own life and tell him what your doing, he has 2 choices he can either be beside you and go through the treatments or he is going to be alone...Its all up to you as far as your life goes....

 
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Old 05-28-2009, 08:11 PM   #3
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Thumbs up Re: I have to taper, husband won't stay out of my meds

it sounds like your caught up in a vicious cycle, did you an him have solid recovery before you stopped going, i also have fibro wich a have to live with most mds where i live dont persribe narcotics for chronic pain , for fear of addiction , it seems you may not have told you md about your past , you should ,percs make the pain worce , been there as i needed them from a bike wreck , last june , i had to get off them before they took over , you should never share those kine of meds with anyone , ,i use low impact exercise for my chronic pain , its not easy but better than what oxys do after awhile , those meds are for short time use for most, 3 months at the most, you know what to do ,what ever it takes what lengths are you willing to go to , if the relationship was not solid , go stay with family , i hope the best for you, i will pray for you both , but try to remember you have to come first, , its allways nice at first takeing painkillers, life great then reality sets in , an we realize we cant keep taking them , but its to late they get us , you will be ok , but work on you an you only , it takes alot of courage to tell us what you have , now just follow through ,we are here to help ,find out about in house treatmentgod bless you , your fellow addict scott or ose o us already addicted , the line between addiction an dependence is so fine about as thick as a strand of hair ,on my head, pm docs dont always persribe pain killers , an dont have the first hand exspearience of an addict like you an myself , the body an the mind know

Last edited by 56789; 05-29-2009 at 06:56 PM.

 
Old 05-29-2009, 10:24 AM   #4
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Re: I have to taper, husband won't stay out of my meds

Pain Maanagement doctors prescribe percocets for chronic pain, of which Fibromyalgia is one disease they presribe for. Yes.. they are addicting....PM docs make sure they explain the difference between addiction and dependence.
Rose... my concern is the mixing of the alcohol and the narcotics. I have some dear friends who I swear your story was EXACTLY like their life. In fact, one of the couple was always asking to borrow some of MY meds as his monthly script lasted him a few DAYS...
You may be able to ask for a long acting medication for your Fibro ( take 1 or 2 a day ) BUT the alcohol is still going to be a problem. Do you have a close friend or neighbor that can "hold" your meds for you ? Do you work and maybe you can lock them in your desk at work ? I had to hide my meds not only from family and friends who liked to 'borrow " as well as myself as I knew I would take even when I WASN'T hurting.

 
Old 05-30-2009, 10:41 AM   #5
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Re: I have to taper, husband won't stay out of my meds

he had 10 years and i had 8 in aa. aa didn't tell me stop meds. i just can't get into a inpatient treatment center while on valium and percocet.

i think i can get by with only taking my percs as needed instead of every 5 hours. I am tapering off.

i have thought about leaving. i think that would motivate him to stop drinking and using.

you are right i need to focus on me.

thanks for the advice.

 
Old 05-30-2009, 07:04 PM   #6
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Smile Re: I have to taper, husband won't stay out of my meds

glad to see you have not forgot that you have to come first , good luck to you , we are here for you keep us posted, an remember all the things you learned will come back , an if you got up earlyer than me to day you have been sober longer, an you probley did becouse i work the night shift make that call , god bless you scott

 
Old 05-31-2009, 05:04 AM   #7
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Re: I have to taper, husband won't stay out of my meds

Quote:
Originally Posted by rosebuddy View Post
he had 10 years and i had 8 in aa. aa didn't tell me stop meds. i just can't get into a inpatient treatment center while on valium and percocet.

i think i can get by with only taking my percs as needed instead of every 5 hours. I am tapering off.

i have thought about leaving. i think that would motivate him to stop drinking and using.

you are right i need to focus on me.

thanks for the advice.

Fibromyalgia is very painful, so remember don't try and be wonder woman and live in pain while trying to get your life back in order. Talk w/ your doctor, maybe he can prescribe something else instead of the perc's.....

It may or may not motivate him, but remember what ever the outcome you are getting you back and that is the start of self control....I am glad to see you want to make a difference, my hats off to you lady.....

My friend went through the same thing about 5 yrs ago w/ her husband and got her help and she quit drinking, but it didn't change her husbands outlook w/ it,he kept on doing the usual of drinking every night, but the determination she put forth in helping herself first and once in control of that she then tried to help him....Remember it's up to him whether he wants that same thing......My friend told her husband she loved him but she refused to be any part of him killing himself the way they were living.....In the end, things improved and both are clean to this day and very happy..He knew when she told him it would be over she was no longer just saying the words she was serious and ready to move on in life.....So it can happen....Keep a positive outlook on everything even through the rough times.....We all on this message board are always here to talk if needed......

 
Old 05-31-2009, 03:44 PM   #8
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Re: I have to taper, husband won't stay out of my meds

we keep going back and forth since i got on percocet 4 or 5 years ago. we got sober about 2 months ago and got marriage counseling, then before his vacation he got drunk and i joined right in. now vacay is over but we are still drinking. he tapered off of the percocet and is now drinking poppy tea. i am not kidding. he gets high on it though. we have gone back and forth and had so many new beginnings that it's difficult to start again. we are best friends and co dependent, but i don't think i should attend al anon since i'm not sober.

i wish i could go into to treatment for a month and just get out of here and have a strong foot hold when i came home. My parents are elderly though and i hate to worry them. and like i said i have to be off the percocet and valium before a treatment center will take me. i could go to a psych unit, but no thanks.

thanks you guys for helping me. It is good to talk about it. I am isolated since i haven't been going to aa.

rose

 
Old 05-31-2009, 06:15 PM   #9
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Thumbs up Re: I have to taper, husband won't stay out of my meds

there is hope for you . i have fibro to , i hear some are getting alot of pain relief from suboxone , ask an md about this drug , personaly i live with it my mother has it worce , an she takes ultram when needed not often , she is not an addict but does not want to become one , , <removed> i have a friend who is takeing it an getting great results , it is for opoid dependency , but for alot of people it works as a pain killer to without all the nasty side effects that percs or oxy have , i was kinda against this drug but i see this friend every day , he is doing so much better so now that i have seen it first hand , i think it can be a tool to help alot of people you can set up an appointment , an get relief the same day , he went in with just 24 hrs off percs , an within hours he was feeling much better , <removed> , he has chronic back pain , says it helps his pain , an i just notice more pep in his step ,he says it is not as addictive as methadone , an you get the privacy of a md setting, you could talk to your md about it or look into it first this drug is also alot harder to abuse, than regular opoids , good luck scott , you dont have to be sober to attend AAmeetings, all you need is a desire to stop

Last edited by mod-anon; 05-31-2009 at 11:47 PM. Reason: do not post commercial websites

 
Old 06-01-2009, 05:20 AM   #10
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Re: I have to taper, husband won't stay out of my meds

to be totally honest, the only pain i have from fibro is my feet in which i have chronic plantar fasciitis and have had for over a year because the percocet masked the pain. Now i have special shoes that keep my feet from hurting. I just use the fibro as an excuse to stay on the percocet. wow, that took a lot to get honest. i don't think i have ever admitted that before.

today i go for my med check and to get another 180 10mg pills. i am down to 10mg from 15 and part of me wants to continue the taper and part of me can't wait til i can take 15mg again. It talks about being at the jumping off point in the aa big book, in which you can't imagine your life with your addiction...or without it. (paraphrased). that is where i am at.

Now i just have to make a decision....

this i have committed to doing so many times and not sticking to it. I will cut my pills for the week. and next few weeks and give the rest of the bottle to my aa sponsor for safe keeping unless i have a bad fibromyalgia flare.

a friend of mine went through a horrible time with percocet. she od'ed 3 times and the 4th time she quit breathing. her husband found her and called an ambulance. she was revived and in the hospital for a few weeks. she is clean for a year now except for tramadol (which is way addicting by the way) but she has permanent brain damage. she doesn't talk the same. Her personality has changed. she is not the same person that she was before the percs. she has fibro too, like me.

when i quit smoking, i made a list of reasons why i wanted to quit and another for why i wanted to smoke. and marked off the hours that i was smokefree. It worked, i just kept referring to the list of why i wanted to quit and focused on that.

i am 48 years old. i am a real alcoholic and addict. It is time to stop this nonsense and get my life together.

thanks to all who have commented. you have helped a lot. I don't want to go on suboxone because it is too addicting; i have read so many posts on this site regarding that and methadone. I have tapered off of percocet twice. I can do it again. there is a meditation book that we use in aa called each day is a new beginning. and it is. i have to stop focusing on all my false starts.

rose

 
Old 06-01-2009, 08:07 PM   #11
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Re: I have to taper, husband won't stay out of my meds

hi good for you going back , be careful , listen to your sponcer . i think we need to be ever so careful with any opoid,leting you sponcer hold them is a good thing . yes i tapered off percs myself , for some reasone i cant metion the drug name. but none of them are easy to get off of. keep up the good work scottoh it does good for my friend , i did not even recomend this drug till i saw it working first hand . an did some research also , do what works for you

Last edited by 56789; 06-01-2009 at 08:22 PM.

 
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