Re: Brother alcoholic and now has cancer
Hi there. I am a 42 year old woman in Australia. I have Bipolar Disorder and Panic and Anxiety Disorders and I am also a 10 years sober alcoholic in AA. I also had a violent, abusive, neglectful father who drank himself to death at 51 and then Mum married another alcoholic, mt Stepfather. Most of Dad's family have drunk themselves to death and there are many on Mum's side too. I have seen, many times over (including in myself) the insanity of alcoholic drinking. It is truly beyond belief unless you experience it in your own family.
My thoughts on this situtation are this. you can't make your brother get sober. Only he can do that and I have met many people in AA with other severe illnesses who have gotten sober and stayed sober - maybe it's too late for your brother, I don't know.
But the person you change change is YOU. I'm not saying you've done anything wrong, I'm talking about YOUR RIGHT to peace and happiness despite someone you love holding firm to a path of destruction.
My Mum got to Alanon, the sister fellowship to AA. She got stuck into it and did the work they suggested and SHE CHANGED - from one person into another, peaceful, self assurred and a contributor to society. I then got to AA and we were to improve our relationship beyond belief. She passed two years ago.
You could check whether there are Alanon meetings where you live. If not, you could contact Alanon World Service in the US and you could get thge Alanon Literature sent to you and I'm sure get online support. It could really change your life - and that is not dependent on whether your brother get sober, stays drinking or even passes away. I wish you well.