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Old 02-20-2010, 12:42 PM   #1
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hklinnea HB User
dealing with a spouse who is addicted to percocets

I just found out my husband is addicted to percocets. He has been snorting them for at least the last six months. I suspect he has been doing it longer. He has drained our bank accounts and we had to refinance because of it. (at the time I didn't know he was addicted to them ) We are newlyweds and this is suppose to be the happiest time in my life, but instead, I am living with an angry, aggressive husband who calls me names and makes my life miserable. I'm not sure what to do. I wanted him to come clean and tell his family about his addiction. He told me if I tell anyone, he will tell them I am the one who got him addicted to them. He is threatening my reputation! He also said, he wants a divorce if I tell anyone.
I am lost.

 
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Mrfreshour (09-03-2011)
Old 02-20-2010, 03:28 PM   #2
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Re: dealing with a spouse who is addicted to percocets

Hi

It is certainly sad that the marriage has come to a testing and a crossroads so early on, but in truth it has. If the addictive behaviour is tolerated, then a life of enabling him and suffering yourself is inevitable. Addiction is a progressive disease if it is not pulled into check and as the pills poison your husband, your own being will be poisoned.

Now is the time to set the boundary and draw a line in the sand... it is getting help with you or hubby will be going it alone in life without you. Get yourself to a Al-anon or Na-anon meeting pronto. Connect with people who have lived through what you are currently living with. They can advise and comfort you like only those who have walked in your shoes can.

Do not be intimidated by his threats. Addicts are master manipulators and will do and say whatever it takes to protect themselves and their habits. The addiction makes them too sick to make rational, helpful decisions. This puts you in charge by default. Get to a meeting, get to a counselor, get to a place where you can get the advice needed. If there is to be any hope for this marriage, action has to place.

You must stand strong. You are not lost, Honey. You just need to learn where to get help.

Come back and keep us posted.

All best wishes
reach

 
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Old 02-20-2010, 11:41 PM   #3
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matt3507 HB User
Re: dealing with a spouse who is addicted to percocets

hk, I know you are not here for just sympathy, but you have mine. The person you fell in love with is still alive, but he has fallen under the spell of oxycodone (brand name percocet with tylenol).

I am concerned for your safety. Do you have relatives nearby that you could stay with? At least let them know what you are dealing with. The oxycodone will make him do things he would not otherwise consider.

Bear in mind I am just some guy on the net, but I have lost friends to drug addiction (they od'd and are dead now). If your husband keeps snorting he will die. The only way he will quit or seek out help is when he bottoms out. The desire to change has to come from him.

My unqualified opinion - get the divorce before he spends all your money or he gets violent. You can do all of that in the safety of a relatives house. No matter what a hassle it seems like, just think of what ten more years would be like. What if you have kids? Then you will have too much invested and you will not be able to escape.

If you have the time read these addiction boards and get an idea of how tough it is to quit just taking oxy orally, let alone snorting it. Your husband is not in his right mind.

Reachout gave you great advice about the support groups that are available to spouses.

Now if your husband has a chronic pain condition then he needs to go see a pain specialist and a psychologist who deals with chronic pain patients. I thought a psychologist would be a waste of time, but the one I saw gave me an excellent education and helped me understand the chemical changes that take place in your brain when you have chronic (daily) pain.

Well, sorry for the preaching, but I am so sad for you. Will you please update us here occasionally if you have the time? Bless your heart. I will be thinking of you.

Matt

 
Old 09-12-2010, 02:48 PM   #4
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Re: dealing with a spouse who is addicted to percocets

You have a tough decision to make. It comes down to only one choice: Are you going to continue to let your husband manipulate you, or are you going to call his bluff and demand that he get off the drugs? He's displaying typical addict behavior, and thinks he can threaten you in order to protect his drug usage. Don't go for it. Give him a choice - he can have either you or the drugs - not both. You'll have to stand firm, because he'll try to use every trick in the book to manipulate the situation. His threat of saying you got him addicted is empty - as for divorcing you if you say anything to anybody, simply inform him that you're not going to play his game. He can either get himself straightened out, or he can continue life without you. It's painful and it's not easy. But if you continue to allow him to play games, you're just going to be miserable, and you'll be enabling his useage. You don't deserve either.

Last edited by dave490; 09-12-2010 at 02:49 PM. Reason: spelling

 
Old 09-03-2011, 07:41 PM   #5
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Mrfreshour HB User
Re: dealing with a spouse who is addicted to percocets

Get rid of him before he ruins you and your credit! He will not see his way out of his lack of self control until he hits rock-hard bottom. There is no need for him to drag you down too. That threat he holds over your head is just an excuse to keep you there. Get the divorce. If he loves you and wants to seek help (he will need it), then it will be his chance to start the relationship over in a sober spirit. Addicts will use every excuse in the world to hang on to their source (or possible source) of financing their addictions. Good luck.

Last edited by mod85; 09-06-2011 at 12:23 PM.

 
Old 09-03-2011, 08:02 PM   #6
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Re: dealing with a spouse who is addicted to percocets

Don't pay attention to his threats. In fact, counter it with "if you don't get help, you won't have to worry about me telling anyone because I won't be here." Give him one (and only one) chance to get clean, and if he doesn't, hit the road. Don't enable him by letting his threats silence you. I'd talk to his family - if he decides he'd rather have the drugs than his marriage to you - it's his loss.

 
Old 09-03-2011, 08:30 PM   #7
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Re: dealing with a spouse who is addicted to percocets

I wince at the thought of snorting a percocet. Percs have 325 mg of acetominophen (tylenol) in them. and only 5 or 10 mg of oxy. Sure insuflating or sniffing the oxy can give a desired effect, but the amount of chalk or acetominophen in each perc is enough to clog the nasal passages etc. Not advised to say the least. Hope you guys have worked some things out

Last edited by mod85; 09-06-2011 at 12:24 PM.

 
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