Convince husband he has a problem.
My husband of 12 years has a problem with prescription drugs and alcohol. There has always been a problem but I feel it's getting worse. He drinks less, but takes more drugs. He is prescribed many of them, but I feel he is not truthful with all of his doctors about what he is taking (he sees several) and several months ago I realized he was also purchasing Oxycontin from someone. He is already prescribed Percocet for back pain (a legit problem) but finishes his month supply within a couple of weeks, then gets the Oxy. He also takes Trazodone and lorazapam to help sleep. I have seen personality changes, which are scary. He absolutely refuses to see that he has a problem and only gets defensive and rationalizes what he does, or tells me it's none of my business. Today he actually said "you buy drugs too", I asked "I do?" and he said I did when I was in high school, I smoked pot (I can count how many times on one hand). I told him I wasn't sure what that had to do with anything since it was over 20 yrs ago and we were talking about him.
He flat out lied to me that he was taking Oxy and accused me of snooping or tracking him. I know when he takes Oxy because his personality changes. All it takes from there is to open a drawer and see a pill bottle with no label and google the pill markings. Oxy 20MG. Once I finally told him I saw the pills he said he wasn't taking them NOW... but there were about 20 pills in the bottle on Sat and they were gone on Sunday. He reiterated that I was nosing around.
About a year ago he was having severe insomnia with blackouts. He would fall asleep mid-sentence. One night he started to cook something (after I went to bed) and fell asleep on the couch, causing it to burn and the fire alarms to go off. He blamed everyone but himself and he was the only person downstairs. To this day he denies that he did it and has no memory of it (My 17 yr old daughter came home just as the alarms went off and started turning them off, while he followed her asking her what she was doing, etc). The best way to describe the personality change is he becomes the most annoying person on earth. No one wants to be around him. He sees this as US having a problem and not him. We are rude or bitchy, not that he is on a drug high and severely annoying. Luckily this severe behavior did stop (blacking out) but once in a while he gets the insomnia and becomes very annoying. I am afraid to sleep when he is awake. He's also admitted to hallucinations. I am worried while in this state he would hurt us. MOST of the time he is himself. I love him the most when he runs out of Percocet or Oxy.
I am stuck. He refuses to see this is a problem, so how can I get him help? He gets VERY angry with me when we talk about it. I try to only show concern and not be accusatory. I try not to cast blame but tell him I am worried about his health. What more can I do? If he is not willing to seek help, am I just stuck with this?
Thank you so much for any information you can give.