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Old 08-29-2011, 01:22 PM   #1
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Husband in denial of addiction

I posted a long post and it's gone. Not sure why it didn't go to the board.

My husband of 12 yrs is addicted to prescription drugs and alcohol. He is in denial and it only causes anger if I try to convince him to get help. It started as alcohol but he now is prescribed percocet. His month supply runs out within a couple of weeks and he is now illegally buying Oxycontin to fill the remainder. He also is prescribed trazodone and lorazopam for insomnia. He sees different doctors and I don't think they are all aware of his scripts. He also takes heart meds for an arrhythmia. I am seriously concerned for his health.

He has personality change when he's on Oxy. That is how I figured out he was taking it. I know when he runs out of percocet so when he suddenly becomes annoying again, I know he's on something. He accuses me of snooping and tracking him when it's as simple of noticing his behavior change and opening a drawer and seeing a bottle with no label filled with Oxy (looks very different than percocet).

About a year ago he started having severe insomnia with blackouts. His personality change was at it's worst. He was mostly very very happy (annoying) but if you upset him he was very very mean. He has no recollection of things he did and to this day denies them. This lasted a few months and finally stopped. I did a lot of begging and I think he finally stopped or regulated whatever he was taking at the time.

He gets angry if I try to talk about it. I try to tell him I am concerned and try not to be accusatory. He rationalizes it and tells me it's none of my business. I don't know what else to do. I'm guessing there isn't anything I can do if he isn't willing to get help. None of this is fair to me or the kids. No one wants to be around him when he is on the Oxy.

Please don't just tell me to leave. It honestly is not that easy. He needs help and I don't even know where to turn to begin this process.

 
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Old 08-29-2011, 06:24 PM   #2
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Re: Husband in denial of addiction

Hi

Tough circumstances. Sorry.

I think the best course of action for you is to start attending Al-anon meetings, which are support group meetings for the family and friends of alcoholics. There are also Nar-anon meetings for the family and friends. Either or both would be so helpful. At these meetings, you would hear stories and get advice from those who have walked in your shoes or still are. There are also Ala-teen meetings for the kids.

You can not change him, but changing the way you interact with him might inspire him to desire recovery himself.

Please get proactive in the meetings for your own and the children's well-being.

Wishing you well
reach

FYI.... Percocet is Oxycodone with Tylenol in it. "Oxy" short acting tabs are simply without the Tylenol. "Oxy", as in Oxycontin is a long acting version of percocet.

 
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Old 08-30-2011, 07:34 AM   #3
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Re: Husband in denial of addiction

Thank you reachout. I just feel so helpless. I've been thinking about going to alanon, I've seen the meetings announced in the paper. Nar-anon seems to fit us more. I am a business owner in the community so I might have to go to one not too close to home. That is part of my problem, I do not want this to become public because of who we are in our community but I can't do this alone anymore. Luckily he is "normal" most of the time. It's those times when he seems to have lost his mind that I get very scared. How long will it last this time? Will he get violent? He's never been violent but you read those news stories of spouses that snap and hurt the family. I think it's those stories that scare me the most!

I realize Percocet and Oxycontin are similar but he is prescribed Perc and not Oxy. That he is buying Oxy really bothers me and that he lies to me when I have proof he is buying it really bothers me. He's big on people not lying to him but he's been lying to us for a very long time.

We are a "yours, mine and ours" family. The kids are all upper teens or in their 20s (and out of the house) with the exception of "ours", who is 12. He gets really annoyed with my husband too, and my husband gets mad at our son for it. In reality our son is having a normal reaction to someone being very annoying. If I can't get my husband to stop, I would at least like to get him to realize how annoying he becomes and to maybe try to control that and accept we will get mad at him when he doesn't stop.

(I saw my original post showed up about an hour after I reposted. Oops. I also can't figure out how to delete that one. Sorry!)

 
Old 08-30-2011, 01:14 PM   #4
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Re: Husband in denial of addiction

I don't know if your religious but I am praying for you and your family. As for his health...all the meds he is taking right now could severely damage his kidneys and the alcohol could damage his liver. Taking them together could be fatal. I know its not as simple as just leaving. But maybe you should take a break. Go stay with your mother or a close friend for a couple of days. maybe he'll realize what he's losing. sometimes leaving is better than staying :'-(

 
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