While we aren't married, we have been together for over 5 years. We also have a 3 1/2 year old daughter.
Here is my story.
My hubby cheated on me on or about May of 2011. He said the relationship was over with "her" but he never apologized for hurting me.
I kicked his a$$ out but took him back about a week later. Our hydro got cut off, so I had to go pay the bill to get it back on. I also had to leave a $1000.00 deposit to do so.
I didn't realize a problem as of yet, but I noticed he complained of never having money even though I paid his insurance on his truck, I paid the hydro, I paid the Gas bill, I paid the TV bill, I paid the phone bills, I also paid the nanny, and paid for the groceries. After he cheated, I made him pay his own insurance. I still pay for the rest.
My hubby hasn't contributed financially for some time, he says I am a hoarder of my own money.
My hubby doesn't spend a lot of time with me or my daughter. In fact, on Christmas day, he spent under an hour with her. I felt like we were intruding on his time.
He told me in November that he doesn't like the person he is becoming and is sorry for being mean to me. He said that he is trying to change, yet, at the beginning of December, he said he's leaving, that he's tired of "going down the same road again". I told him I was tired of being punished for his cheating. He gets angry if I "miss" his call and swears at me yet, he deliberately avoids my calls. He spends most days in bed (when he isn't working) and the nights in the garage. I don't even see him anymore. I have a place, and my daughter and I are moving as of January 2012.
I only found out recently that he has been using, and now he has now quarms about using in front of me in the garage. This seems like a ritual each Thursday, but I am sure there are other days too, that I am not aware of. For Christmas, we went to a friend of ours, where the husband there was using as well. The husband and my hubby stayed downstairs the entire time, and didn't even grab a plate of food that we slaved over to cook for the dinner. Initially, I wasn't going to go, but he asked me to, so I did. I felt like I was a babysitter for my own child so my hubby can "coke out" downstairs.
He is very mean to me, rarely speaks to me, and I am lost, confused, and really hurt. I am afraid for my daughter. I know she is only 3, but I never wanted her to go through this. She rarely sees her daddy, if at all.
My sister suggested alanon so I can realize that this isn't my fault.
I do love him, well, the man he was... This new guy??? He is horrible.