I am not sure where to turn, so I came here. I started dating him only 5 months ago...short in time, but I felt like I've known him my whole life. I had feelings for him early on. They got strong, so quickly, it was almost scary. He told me about a month in that back in the day, he'd had a problem with cocaine. My rsponse was "as long as it's in the past". I meant it....I've been an enabler since then. I didn't see it coming, but he's used, used in my car with other people, spent all his cash then having to borrow from me to go play ball on the weekend....He twists 'happenings' to suit him....when we fight about it, he changes into someone I don't even know. Dripping with sarcasm, he asks me just how long it's going to take for me to trust him again. An episode last weekend that led to my 'venting' on here - we were on our way to visit his friends, when he received a text to give me the heads up that the get together was 'dirty' (what I call it when someone has that crap there)...so for a mere second I lost my cool and said 'then I don't have to be there'. After arguing about it for 20 minutes or so, he got back on the highway and drove home. At this very moment, he is at 'that' friends house watching the fights with 'his friends'.....he does use the term loosely. I didn't get an ivitation. Instead he cancelled plans WE had made for a BBQ, drinks and the fights with my brother and his girlfriend - people we hang out with often.
I'm lost. I have been through some tremendous things over the past 5 o so years....house fires, held up at gunpoint, daughter arrested for arson which took $40k to prove she didn't do it (I'm a single mom and $40k is NOT easy to come by!), their father's death, a horiffic motorcycle accident this past January on a vacation - 9 days in the trauma unit in Cuba.....not even back to work yet. I don't remember a time when I've felt this way. I'm so sad it feels like my heart has been crushed. I told him when we were fighting as he was leaving that if he touched it tonight we were through. There's so much going on inside my head it's somewhat unbearable....I need some direction....please.....
The following user gives a hug of support to sassyone13: Phoenix (11-18-2012)
Hello and welcome. I hope you find lots of encouragement and support from others who share similar experiences with you.
First of all, it sounds as if you have really been through a lot, and must be a strong woman to have made it to this point.
From here, I would encourage you to pull yourself way back from people engaged in any dangerous, or illegal activities. Honestly, life is so great without interacting with those who are bound for trouble. This guy does not sound like someone you can count on for much more that lots of drama, and that is not good for anyone. People often do not realize how hard living in stress and strife affects you.
This sounds like a time in your life where following your own path would be best for you. Love does not hurt, and this relationship does. I imagine you already know the answer to your question, but just need someone to encourage you to do what is right.
Let me be that person. You are worth protecting, and that includes your heart and your body. Do not ever let anyone treat you a bit less than you deserve. Life is long and one bad decision can ruin it forever. Life is a wonderful experience, and it is up to each of us to create it for ourselves.