My bofriend chose Pot over me?
This is a little long. Please read it. This is what my life has been like for months. I need help and advice
Recently, I thought i met the man of my dreams. He moved to escape the "drug life" of his hometown. He admitted to me that he tried "every drug." However, he says the only drug he ever did on a consistent basis was Pot. My boyfriend is shady about his past, but he claims he was addicted to Pot, on a daily basis, from the age of 14 until last april. That is 10 years.
He told me over and over about how pot controlled his life. He repeated the same line to me over and over. He constantly told me about how Pot was his "darkness." He told me he it controlled his entire being. He CONSTANTLY told me he would NEVER relapse back to his old life. He said "I will never let pot, a stupid drug, ruin our relationship."
When we started dating in September, he said he had been clean since he moved here. Things went great. We loved each other deeply. I came out of the closet with him. We talked about spending our lives together... until..
He was living with his aunt for free the entire time. But, in mid November, he said he wanted more "freedom." He decided to move in with his cousin. His cousin rents a house. After my boyfriend moved in, the landlord said HE COULD NOT stay there without being on the lease. The landlord gave him until March 1st to move out. This caused him to FREAK out.
He got really depressed in December. He DEEPLY missed his family in another state. His grandmother died near Thanksgiving. He came to me on December 28th and said, "i smoked pot with people from work. I didn't like it. It won't happen again." I have a ZERO TOLERANCE for any drug use, BUT, I told him, "please don't do it again. if you feel like doing it, call me, talk to me." Well, on January 7th he came to me again and said he smoked pot. I just shook my head and again begged him not to.
On January 11th I picked him up for lunch. Within 5 minutes he had what I would call a bipolar episode(possibly pot induced?) where he reversed himself on everything he had ever told me. He told me he hated living in the state we lived. He told me he wasn't sure about a relationship with me. He told me, "pot isn't bad. i will smoke it when i want to. He said lot's of hurtful, awful things that came out of nowhere.
I tried to break up with him. At first he was angry, but a few hours later he called me begging, crying, apologizing. I ignored him. Then he called threatening to kill himself. Like a dummy I took him back.
Things went back to relative calm for a short while. His mother came in on January 22nd to visit him. She left on January 24th. I met her. She cried in my arms when she met me because she said I was a good guy. When she left, he was SEVERELY depressed.
The communication between us changed DRASTICALLY. I didn't hear from him for 2 days. Then he called me and said, "not talking to you for 2 days made me realize how much i miss you." I was like, "what the hell are you talking about?" After that the communication was never the same. He used to call me when he woke up, before work, after work, before bed. He would text me at various times throughout the day. Then he just suddenly stopped. Not only did he stop wanting to talk to me, he stopped wanting me to come over. He had constantly begged me to come to his house..then..nothing
I knew something was up. Well, a friend of mine came to me on February 1st and told me my boyfriend was getting stoned constantly. Well, my suspicions were confirmed. That's why he was avoiding me. I confronted him with this. He begged me not to leave him. He said he would stop.
Well, the communication got better for a few days..until..
Then it all came to a grinding hault on February 5th.
He came to my job, screaming at me, telling me, "IT'S YOUR FAULT I DO DRUGS. I WAS FINE UNTIL I MET YOU."
But right after he told me that, he completely reversed himself. He started crying. He said, "im getting worse. I'm torn between loving you and doing pot all day. I just want to do pot all day."
Again, I was devastated. I tried breaking up with him, and again, he called crying, apologizing.
He told me he was scared. He told me the darkness was consuming him. I begged him to talk to me, to let me help him get help. All he did was cut off communication with me more after the February 5th incident.
I didn't see him for a week. I called, texted. He started saying, "I need my space. Leave me alone." He refused to make any effort to see me. Well, I went to see him at work one day. He acted like he couldnt stand to see me. I went to his house a few days. He acted so annoyed to be in my presence. Finally I said on February 20th in a text message, "i'm tired of chasing after you. please make some effort to see me." He replied, "im tired of trying to please you. give me my space. It's your fault I relapsed."
Finally yesterday I MADE HIM talk to me. I boxed his car in with mine. I begged him to talk to me. He said these exact words, "I need my space to see if I still love you or not. I know it sounds cold hearted."
Now he completely ignores me. I went by his house. He refused to answer the door.
What has happened to my love? Is it completely gone? Is there any hope left?
Last edited by Administrator; 02-28-2013 at 11:45 AM.