Step-dad diagnosed with liver cancer....how should I be feeling?
Recently my 74 year old step-father had been diagnosed with liver cancer. He used to work at a chemical plant and they say that could be the cause. Ive gotten over the initial shock as I'm 25 years old and knew no matter how healthy he is (goes to the gym everyday) alot of people his age have health problems. He is feeling fine now and is starting kemo on monday. They have given him 6months-1 year to live. My mom is devistated by this and I am too, but I have a tough time showing it. My question is, this is something I havent had to deal with much, (death of someone so close to me) but my theory is, I want to not dwell on it now while he's still feeling fine and can go to hockey games and have a conversation at dinner. I know he will be getting worse and weaker soon with the kemo so I think "Why should I start greiving now when he's still "ok." The problem is, not thinking about it 24hrs a day, going out for drinks with my friends, having fun, is making me feel guilty. I know I'll be crushed to see him have to go thru his treatments and be sick, and if he should not pull thru this, but am I wrong to be dealing with it this way? I went out last weekend drinking with my friends, laughing, having fun. Then the next morning had to visit him in the hospital and it just makes me feel like I shouldnt be doing that stuff with him suffering? I havent cried, I dont tend to display my emotions visibly, but I feel bad for not crying. im not sure the "correct" way to handle all this. Any advice, or words of wisdom? Thanks in advance