It appears you have not yet Signed Up with our community. To Sign Up for free, please click here....



Family & Friends of Cancer Patients Message Board
Post New Thread   Closed Thread
LinkBack Thread Tools
Old 01-06-2009, 05:04 PM   #1
Member
(male)
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: new york, ny, usa
Posts: 51
grinch13 HB User
My father has just been diagnosed with terminal colon cancer

I asked him what stage it was, but he did not know. His answer was "terminal". I will assume its stage 4. My father does not want any treatment, operations, chemo, etc. He just wants it to let the cancer run its course.

This morning the doctor was to, in my father's understanding, give him a more specific idea of how long he has. He was unclear as to how much time my father has left, but did give two options: 1) Do nothing, and die a very painful death. 2) Have the colon removed which will lead him to die of liver failure which is apparently a more comfortable way to go.

This sounds strange, so I am looking for advice. I just got off the phone with my dad, so this is brand new in my mind (the dying a painful death thing, anyway - he told my brother and I of his terminal condition on Sat).

Thanks

 
Old 01-07-2009, 07:21 AM   #2
Member
(female)
 
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Texas
Posts: 62
Maza HB User
Re: My father has just been diagnosed with terminal colon cancer

Hi Grinch,
I am so sorry to hear about your dad.
I don't know what advice to really give you apart from telling you a bit about my Dad.
The first time my dad had colon cancer they operated and he had chemo and he went into remission, Sadly after 2 years it came back and the tumor was inoperable.
My dad did decide to fight it but the chemo got too much for him and was not working.
My dad survived 10 months from coming off the chemo. He was not in any pain for that 10 months and only went on morphine one day before he died and he was chatting up to the end.
I know this is weird to say but the worst situation was not knowing how it would end as all his other major organs were healthy.
The last month of his life he was bed ridden because he was so weak and probably the the last week was when his body started to shutdown. He was still in no serious pain though.
My Dad just went into a deep sleep and the next day passed.
He died July 2008.
I hope this info is of some help and feel free to ask me any other questions.

 
Sponsors Lightbulb
   
Old 01-07-2009, 11:18 AM   #3
Member
(male)
 
Join Date: Mar 2005
Posts: 63
PCTECH01 HB User
Re: My father has just been diagnosed with terminal colon cancer

THANK YOU for this information. My FIL is currently in the hospital and was told this past Monday morning that he has colon cancer and due to his age (88 years young) and other sever medical conditions, that he is expected to live only 2 months. The hospital social worker is making plans as we speak to move him into a hospice facility. His spirit is still strong and intends to fight it as long as possible just to prove the doctor wrong, but he knows he has a serious medical problem.

We went through a similar condition 3 years ago with my MIL with glioblastoma (brain tumor). Morphine controled the pain and she too went quietly in her sleep.

We are all saddened and upset by the recent news but will bond together and comfort Bob during his remaining days. Peace to you and your family and I am sorry to hear of your loss. I will keep you and your dad in my prayers.

Peace. PC

 
Old 01-10-2009, 07:25 AM   #4
Senior Veteran
(female)
 
Join Date: Jun 2003
Location: Nassau, The Bahamas
Posts: 1,283
Nassau one HB UserNassau one HB UserNassau one HB UserNassau one HB User
Re: My father has just been diagnosed with terminal colon cancer

I am so sorry to hear about your father. The options do sound a bit scary and it would have been nicer if they could have been presented with a little more sensitivity. I would think that the main thing for your dad right now is to be pain free and comfortable for as long as possible. Maybe a further chat with his doctor might clarify things for you and your dad.

Coming to terms with impending death, both for the patient and the family, is stressful. Spending quality time, talking, laughing (if possible) and sharing memories may help to alleviate the distress of what is to come.

Please let us know how things are going.

Alison

 
Old 01-13-2009, 03:01 PM   #5
Member
(male)
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: new york, ny, usa
Posts: 51
grinch13 HB User
Re: My father has just been diagnosed with terminal colon cancer

Quote:
Originally Posted by Maza View Post
Hi Grinch,
I am so sorry to hear about your dad.
I don't know what advice to really give you apart from telling you a bit about my Dad.
The first time my dad had colon cancer they operated and he had chemo and he went into remission, Sadly after 2 years it came back and the tumor was inoperable.
My dad did decide to fight it but the chemo got too much for him and was not working.
My dad survived 10 months from coming off the chemo. He was not in any pain for that 10 months and only went on morphine one day before he died and he was chatting up to the end.
I know this is weird to say but the worst situation was not knowing how it would end as all his other major organs were healthy.
The last month of his life he was bed ridden because he was so weak and probably the the last week was when his body started to shutdown. He was still in no serious pain though.
My Dad just went into a deep sleep and the next day passed.
He died July 2008.
I hope this info is of some help and feel free to ask me any other questions.
I am very sorry to hear about your dad. I guess talking about this helps in some measure. I went through this in '96 with my mom - breast cancer. They caught it very late, she was diagnosed in Dec '95 and passed away in july of '96. The hospice nurse said the speed of her condition was really the best thing. The best for everyone including my mom.

My brother and I are going to take my dad to the surgeon on friday and we will know more then. I just hope my dad doesn't suffer. I talked with him last night and from the phone he sounded fine and his demeanor was excellent all things considered.

Thank you so much for your post - it really helps. If you think of anything that might help, please post. Thank you again

 
Old 01-13-2009, 03:05 PM   #6
Member
(male)
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: new york, ny, usa
Posts: 51
grinch13 HB User
Re: My father has just been diagnosed with terminal colon cancer

Quote:
Originally Posted by Nassau one View Post
I am so sorry to hear about your father. The options do sound a bit scary and it would have been nicer if they could have been presented with a little more sensitivity. I would think that the main thing for your dad right now is to be pain free and comfortable for as long as possible. Maybe a further chat with his doctor might clarify things for you and your dad.

Coming to terms with impending death, both for the patient and the family, is stressful. Spending quality time, talking, laughing (if possible) and sharing memories may help to alleviate the distress of what is to come.

Please let us know how things are going.

Alison
Thank you so much for your post, Allison. As I just posted, my brother and I will definitely know more on friday. I just hope the surgeon can somehow make it as comfortable as possible for my dad. I feel like I'm in the twilight zone; that somehow this isn't real.

Thank you so much for the post. Such thoughtful words really seem to help.

 
Old 01-13-2009, 03:12 PM   #7
Member
(male)
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: new york, ny, usa
Posts: 51
grinch13 HB User
Re: My father has just been diagnosed with terminal colon cancer

Quote:
Originally Posted by PCTECH01 View Post
THANK YOU for this information. My FIL is currently in the hospital and was told this past Monday morning that he has colon cancer and due to his age (88 years young) and other sever medical conditions, that he is expected to live only 2 months. The hospital social worker is making plans as we speak to move him into a hospice facility. His spirit is still strong and intends to fight it as long as possible just to prove the doctor wrong, but he knows he has a serious medical problem.

We went through a similar condition 3 years ago with my MIL with glioblastoma (brain tumor). Morphine controled the pain and she too went quietly in her sleep.

We are all saddened and upset by the recent news but will bond together and comfort Bob during his remaining days. Peace to you and your family and I am sorry to hear of your loss. I will keep you and your dad in my prayers.

Peace. PC
I am very sorry to hear about your father-in-law. I really hope he somehow has comfort and hopefully passes is the same way as your mother-in-law. I am sorry t hear about her as well, but going peacefully in her sleep is - I don't know how to say - nice to know. I really hope my dad passes similarly.

Peace to you, PC. And thank you so much for the post

M

 
Closed Thread

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Board Replies Last Post
My father in law. blokecalledkev Family & Friends of Cancer Patients 1 06-08-2008 04:57 PM
Update: My father was just diagnosed with terminal cancer... RCC Renal Cell Carcinoma SbY Cancer 8 05-01-2008 04:05 AM
My father was diagnosed with colon cancer today christy217 Family & Friends of Cancer Patients 9 02-13-2008 04:50 PM
My Mom diagnosed with terminal Stage Colon Cancer Pittsburgh_Flye Cancer: Colon 28 09-29-2007 09:29 AM
Advice on Father Please lzing2 Caregivers 8 05-14-2007 03:43 PM




Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is Off
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off




Join Our Newsletter

Stay healthy through tips curated by our health experts.

Whoops,

There was a problem adding your email Try again

Thank You

Your email has been added








TOP THANKED CONTRIBUTORS



rudiraven (3), msnova74 (2), marisuela (2), Ivorygirl (1), Mel52 (1), fldinosaur (1), Jakepod34 (1), jojocont (1), rosequartz (1), bubblegirl (1)

Site Wide Totals

teteri66 (1136), MSJayhawk (941), Apollo123 (856), janewhite1 (823), Titchou (770), Gabriel (743), ladybud (667), sammy64 (666), midwest1 (655), BlueSkies14 (610)



All times are GMT -7. The time now is 10:50 PM.



Site owned and operated by HealthBoards.com™
Copyright and Terms of Use © 1998-2014 HealthBoards.comô All rights reserved.
Do not copy or redistribute in any form!