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Old 09-08-2009, 05:38 PM   #1
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LAguirre HB User
New to this-Dad has cancer.

Hi, I am pretty new to all of this but someone suggested that this may help. My dad was diagnosed with kidney cancer and Dr said it had already spread to his brain. Although the Dr has not specifically told us this is stage IV , I have researached it on line and that is what I have found. He had a pretty big tumor removed from his brain but there are still some smaller that could not be removed. He had to have radiation for 2 straight weeks and now he is on a pill for Chemo. Dr. said that regular chemo would not help because it is kidney cancer. I love my dad and can't imagine my life without him but almost everything I read is that this is terminal and he will not be with us much longer. I have been so depressed and I don't know what else to do for him. He is now on his second week of the Chemo pill and has gotten mouth sores, diarreah, bad headaches, hair loss and loss of appetite. I hate to see him hurting. We have gotten second opinion but its pretty much same thing. They can only give him the radiation and the chemo pill to try to prolong his life. Has anyone gone thru this?Can anyone give me some advice?? Right now all I can do is keep praying for a miracle. I would appreciate any advice or input.

 
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Old 09-09-2009, 06:20 AM   #2
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Re: New to this-Dad has cancer.

LA,

First let me say we are here for you. Also please keep your chin up. I know as a daughter myself to a father with kidney cancer it is a very hard thing to deal with. As you have no way to help or make it all go away. Believe me I wish I could do that myself. I go to every doctors appt make sure he gets his medication and spend time with him. Thats all I can do.

What type of kidney cancer does dad have? There is different types. Also what chemo pill is he taking? As there are a few different ones if one doesnt work another may. As far as the brain mets I can not answer anything on that as we have not had to deal with that so far. Please ask all you want and I will answer to the best I can. Or just be here for you.

A Friend Wendy

 
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Old 09-10-2009, 07:21 PM   #3
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Re: New to this-Dad has cancer.

Wendy,
Thank you so much for your post. I was beginning to feel alone. Well my dad had his kidney removed 15 yrs ago and we were told that he had cancer but that it was contained to his kidney which was now gone. He went to Dr. to get a hernia removal this past December and they did an MRI which showed suspicious spots. He had two needle biopsies on his adrenal gland, which came back negative and was referred to a specialist who recommended getting a pet scan. I guess that is a scan of the whole body which is how they saw the golf ball sized tumor in his head. He had surgery to remove that tumor but he had many smaller ones that we weretold would only be helped with radiation. Turns out that the the cancer has spread from his kidney to his brain. The Dr said that because it is kidney cancer they can't give him normal chemo as it is not effective. So he finished his 2 weeks of radiation and started Sutan-Chemo pill. Well yesterday he was told to stop as he was getting too many side effects. He was supposed to be on it for 1 more week. He will get 2 weeks of a break then start a lower dose for 4 weeks again. He looks really weak and not like the strong man I remember and it tears my heart to see him like this. I have been so depressed. I can't stop thinking of him and what he is going thru. Everyone tells me to have faith, which I do but it hurts so bad. I have siblings who aren't taking it so bad and i wonder if I am just weak.I have my 3 boys and husband who try to keep my spirits up but at times it is so hard. When my dad started losing his hair I couldn't stand seeing him because it hurt me so bad. I did not go over for a few days and he noticed right away. The last thing I want him to see is how bad I am taking this so I always try to put a brave face on when he is around. I pray so hard that he will be around to walk my sisters down the aisle, to see his grandchildren get married and to get to meet his great grandchildren. I don't know what I will do if he leaves us soon. The Dr says that the treatments will not cure his cancer and that it will only prolong his life. Right now i need a miracle!

Letty

 
Old 09-11-2009, 05:28 AM   #4
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Re: New to this-Dad has cancer.

Letty,

First let me say you are never alone! I will be here as you need. I know the feeling of helplessness. As all we can do is be support and spend as much time with our daddy as possible. I know its not what we want to see - them losing the strength they have always had. Believe me I feel no matter they are as strong as ever. Anyone fighting any type of cancer is.

My father also was told his cancer was contained to the kidney that was removed. However it was a year later and it was confirmed to have spread to the lungs. Now its in his bones in areas and other places. My father was diagnosed in July of 05'. He also took the sutent and was able to tolerate it for almost 2 years. Not at the full dose though. I am sorry your dad is having so many sides with it. Its a really good drug to fight this. Now my dad is on Nexavar but again not at the full dose.

I am glad to hear your family is there for you. I also have three boys and a husband. If you dont mind me asking how old are your children? I know this is a very hard time for you and your family. As it seems the cancer has come back like a bull. But continue to pray and be there for you dad as thats all you can do. It can be so overwhelming I know. In my thoughts and prayers.

A Friend Wendy

 
Old 09-21-2009, 07:23 PM   #5
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LAguirre HB User
Re: New to this-Dad has cancer.

Hi Wendy, i am sorry its taken a while...I have been busy and kind of out of it...
My boys are 19,18 and 8 yrs old. They are too young to know exactly what their grandfather is going thru. They just see me sad and I think that is the only thing they see. Its getting a bit harder as me and my sisters aren't seeing eye to eye. As you can read what I wrote to Randy we are all handling this differently and it has taken a toll on our relationships. We try not to let my dad see this but I am sure he can feel the tension. I just can't get out of this rut. I have always taken pride in how much faith I have but lately I have questioned that as well.

I wish this were getting easier instead of harder....

I have been hearing alot of the IL2...Have you heard of that? I am not sure if it is a clinical trial or if it is actually approved already. I just want my dad around for a while more.

I would give anything to have him healthy again! Thanks for listening and being there!

Take Care, Letty

 
Old 09-22-2009, 05:37 AM   #6
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lilsis1071 HB User
Re: New to this-Dad has cancer.

Good Morning Friend,

I am so sorry to hear that this is getting to you and you feel like the others have no worries. Believe me I am there and have been for the last four years. I am also the one that makes sure things are good for my parents and am alsways the one there when they need something. I have moved there belongings numerous times in the past four years and let me tell you it gets old. Not that I mind helping them its just that they do have other children and I say that as if they acted like adults I wouldnt be so tired.

I know the thought about wanting to get that magic wand and making this all go away. If I had it I would pass it your way. All I can do is be here to support you and being I am also a daughter dealing with this I can relate.

funny that our "boys" are close in age. I also have three boys 20 almost 21,17, and 7. Also now have a grandson. 4months.

Yes the IL2 has been out for a long time. It actually was the only treatment for kidney cancer for many years. That was what was offered to my father when he was first diagnosed. He also was offered Sutent as that was just approved. He chose the Sutent due to the sides on the IL2 seemed worse.
He is now on Nexavar.

Hi Randy,
I am glad to see you stop in. I hope you continue to stop and lets us know how you are doing.

Thoughts and prayers to you both Wendy

Last edited by Administrator; 04-04-2012 at 09:08 AM. Reason: add more to post.

 
Old 09-23-2009, 08:28 PM   #7
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Re: New to this-Dad has cancer.

Hi Wendy, how funny that our boys are the same age.

Wow, you have a grand baby! I love babies. Holding them gives me this peace.....

I am taking my dad back to the Dr. tomorrow afternoon and I will ask his Dr about the IL2.
I will let you know how that goes. Thanks again for being here!!

Take care, Letty

Last edited by Administrator; 11-10-2010 at 12:34 PM.

 
Old 10-03-2009, 08:17 PM   #8
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rscott12345 HB User
Re: New to this-Dad has cancer.

Hi Letty,

I hope your dad is getting the medical care he needs. Are you taking care of yourself as well?

I am keeping you in my prayers. Continue to focus on supporting your dad in his fight. Let others do what they will and try not to let it leave permanent scars (easier said then done!).

Randy

 
Old 10-05-2009, 07:51 PM   #9
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Re: New to this-Dad has cancer.

Thanks Randy, My dad started his 2nd cycle of Sutent , 37 ml so it is a lower dosage than before. He started it on Saturday and today when I went to visit hum he had sores inside his nose:-( I am hoping that will be the extent of his side effects this time around.

As for me, I am starting to get a little more hope. Probably due to all the wonderful people like you and Wendy who have us in yours prayers.

I also have both of you guys in my prayers.
I hope you are feeling well , You are so right about not letting things get to me and concentrate on my dad. We had my brother's wedding this past Friday and I kept wondering if it would be my dad's last but somehow over the weekend I have been feeling alot more hopeful. Thanks for the advice......Take care and I will continue to pray for you guys!

 
Old 10-06-2009, 03:49 AM   #10
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lilsis1071 HB User
Re: New to this-Dad has cancer.

I hope this finds you and your dad having a good day. I know the sutent can have some nasty side effects. However it is a really great drug for fighting this cancer. My father couldnt take the full dose and was on it for almost two years. At first decreasing the mets then holding him stable. So if dad can get through the sides for a while its a good medication.

Does dad have any heart issues? Does he take aspirin? I know my dad could no longer take the aspirin as it can cause bleeding isuues. He now only takes tylenol if need be. If you have any further questions feel free to ask.

I will continue to keep you and dad in my prayers. Thank you for the same.

A Friend Wendy

 
Old 01-25-2011, 12:43 PM   #11
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RobbyT HB User
Re: New to this-Dad has cancer.

Hi, my father just died of body cancer. He lived in Norway and I lived in Canada. I arrived two days after he died it was the worst experience of my life. All I can say to you is make sure you spend every waking moment with him and just forget about your life until he either gets better or the other, at least if you do this you will not have any regrets if he does pass on. Other then that there really isnt much you can do but hope for the best I hope this has helped a little for you. Good luck

 
Old 01-26-2011, 07:21 PM   #12
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Re: New to this-Dad has cancer.

Robby, it has been a little over a year that my dad passed away. It has been the worst experience of my life. I am still very depressed and can't seem to find peace in knowing he no longer suffers because I miss him so very much!!
I did get to spend alot of time with him but wish I could have gotten him to a better Dr sooner. I am so sorry for your loss. I hope that you can find the peace and strength to help you get thru this. I wish I could tell you that it gets better as time passes but after 1 yr and a month-the pain is still as unbearable as the day I lost him. Good luck to you as well.

 
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Old 04-26-2011, 09:57 AM   #13
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Re: New to this-Dad has cancer.

Quote:
Originally Posted by LAguirre View Post
Robby, it has been a little over a year that my dad passed away. It has been the worst experience of my life. I am still very depressed and can't seem to find peace in knowing he no longer suffers because I miss him so very much!!
I did get to spend alot of time with him but wish I could have gotten him to a better Dr sooner. I am so sorry for your loss. I hope that you can find the peace and strength to help you get thru this. I wish I could tell you that it gets better as time passes but after 1 yr and a month-the pain is still as unbearable as the day I lost him. Good luck to you as well.
I am so sorry for your loss. I lost my own father to cancer almost 4 years ago and I miss him every single day. It still hurts, but it does get easier. I know that my Dad is in Heaven watching over me and I know that I will see him again someday. I hope that when I do, he will tell me he is proud of how I have lived my life and raised my daughters.

I know that my Dad loves me and he doesn't want me to be sad or depressed about his passing, and so I try hard to live my life in a way that will honor him and make him proud.

Letty, I don't know you or your Dad, but from what you have written, it sounds like he was a good man who loved you very much. I believe he still does love you and is watching over you from Heaven. I also believe that you will be able to see him again someday. Until that day, honor your Dad by living your life in a way that will make him happy and proud to be your Dad. You'll be surprised at how much that will help ease the pain and make each day a little easier to face.

 
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