Re: boyfriend might have cancer for the second time and is pushing me away
My boyfriend has kidney cancer. He was diagnosed in October, the week that he moved to the US from Australia. He always says things like "I'm not going to pull you into this" or "I don't want you to hear me in pain" or "Just go, I'm okay" or "Let me be alone". But you know... I'm 14. And I know a lot of people who have gone through complete hell. Cancer itself is absolute hell. Then the treatments and surgeries and appointments on top of just the one fact pulsing through your head, screaming "I HAVE CANCER" just make it all worse.
What I learned......
Is that if he says that he wants to break up, but isn't sure..... It means that he's scared and he doesn't want to be alone. He's afraid that you'll leave him when you see how sick he is.
Being an onlooker to someone who has cancer it absolutely horrifying. Being the victim of cancer is so much worse than anything else you will ever experience.
Car accidents are scary.
Surgeries are scary.
Biopsies are scary.
Plane crashes are scary.
There is something every day in your life that will scare you. But to have one thing, all day, for the rest of your life, whether you're in remission or not, pulsing through your head? That's the worst.
I know it.
I've stuck with Jake through everything. Since his 1st surgery to his 3rd, to his first chemo treatment, and soon to be his last. I'm going to sick with him through it. But you know what? You have to be strong. For them. If you stay strong, it will help him stay strong.
If it does turn out that he has cancer again.....
If he says "leave" you stay.
If he says "I'm fine" don't believe it.
If he says "It doesn't hurt" it really does.
If he says "I'm not scared" he really is.
If he says "I'm dying" tell him otherwise and stick with him.
If he says "Lay with me" do it.
If he says "Can you help me" help him.
...Do you get my point, here? I really hope this made sense. I'm not trying to scare you at all, but you need to know what's coming if you don't.
I am not saying that he has cancer! I'm just warning you, people get hyped up about stuff, and their mind makes it happen. Your mind over powers your body. Remember that.
Good luck to you and your man!