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Old 06-07-2012, 09:28 AM   #1
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Candlecrazyinwv HB User
New here/New to Cancer

My mom (shes 49) was told that she has pancreatic liver cancer on 4/26/12 and that she has 5 mths or less to live. She had a mini stroke at work and was rushed to the ER and after having tons of tests this is how they found out she had cancer. No one has ever had cancer in our family and so needless to say we are all in shock. Ive never lost anyone so I am not sure how to deal with this or if its possible to prepare for something like this. As of now shes just beginning to feel pain in her sides and after she drives shes down for 2-3 days. Shes eating good but stays so sick to her stomach. Her cancer Dr told her that Chemo wouldnt prolong her life so when she chose not to do it they then refused to treat her for meds so I called hospice and they come once a week to see her to write prescriptions for her pain meds and things like this. Mom never took naps and now she sleeps all day sometimes. Hospice said that was ok and to never bother her when shes napping. I have read so much that this type of cancer just happens so fast. If you would see mom you wouldnt know she has cancer sometimes when shes having a good day. Im just not ready to lose her to this and its out of my control. Its just not fair.

 
Old 06-09-2012, 10:14 PM   #2
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Mel52 HB UserMel52 HB UserMel52 HB UserMel52 HB UserMel52 HB UserMel52 HB UserMel52 HB UserMel52 HB UserMel52 HB User
Re: New here/New to Cancer

No it isn't fair. I am sorry you are going through this. Spend the time with your mom and leave nothing unsaid. The hearing is the last to go, so if she seems unconscious, she still hears you.
My best friend didn't want to eat toward the end, but she did eat a little watermelon. We just wanted her to be comfortable. With her permission, we gathered 4 of our long terms friends and we got together at her house. She didn't want a funeral but we asked if we could have people over for coffee. She laughed and said it was ok. We took pictures of us, and now 4 years later I cherish them.The night of her passing, it was hard to tell her it was ok to go, and she would be free of pain. It's going to be hell for you but she will still be around you. I truly believe that. hugs

 
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Old 06-15-2012, 07:02 AM   #3
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fldinosaur HB User
Re: New here/New to Cancer

Sorry to hear of both your troubles.

There is no preparing. My wife was diagnosed with gallbladder cancer and less than 3 months later she was gone. She was a strong willed, strong working woman and to watch her deteriorate just tore right through me. The up days were great and the down days just reminded you of what was coming.

All you can do is keep letting her know you love her. Don't be ashamed to cry, but try not to in front of her. She will be scared enough and won't want to see you hurt to where she can't help you. Hospice is good. They will make sure the pain is either gone or at a minimum.

 
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