This is my first post. I have been struggling with the fact that my younger sister and best friend has end stage PC. I have been with her from the beginning. I went to see her on Sunday and she was totally yellow. I just saw her last month, so this was a shock. I know that she doesn't have much time can anyone please tell me how much. I'm so sick of offside answers from doctors and nurses. I'm sorry for being so blunt, but this is part of who I am. I live in the real world and all I want is a straight answer.
We have been through so much in the past 1 1/2 yrs. and I guess you can tell I'm bitter, angry, and fustrated. Not to mention very scarred. You see I really don't have anyone I can talk to that can even begin to understand how I am feeling. Except for my sister, I can't talk to her because she is dealing with enough and I don't want her worrying about me and how I am going to deal with my loss.
So I guess it was good carma that I found this site today. So can anyone telling me what to expect in the next few weeks or days?
As you know, many factors go into the progression of PC. It depends on the aggressiveness of the tumor, how much metastasis (spread to other areas) has occurred, her nutritional state, how much she fights to survive, etc. So the best anyone, even her Drs who know her case well, can do is a well intentioned guess. I know that isn't comfortable for anyone, but my best guess, not knowing anything about her case other than she is jaundiced now, is about 3 months. If she can't eat, it could be sooner. If she looks normal and is still eating and hasn't lost a lot of weight, it could be a little longer. Hopefully others will venture a guess as well, just to help you have some realistic expectations and not think she will last 2 years. I would highly recommend discussing this with her Drs and ask for just a ballpark guess based on other similar patients they have treated. I am always torn about giving any opinion, as invariably it is never right on, especially when you don't know the patient. I am so sorry you are struggling through this. You can use this board as a sounding board for your own support as you go through this journey with her.
For such a quick reply, I know that I didn't give you much to go on. My mind has been racing all day. My Sis is only 53 and back in May she saw her Dr.s for the last time. There was nothing more they could do. She had 13 tumors in her liver ranging from 3 to 13 cm.
4 in her right lung and 3 in her left. Her pain management doc. was the only one to tell me that she had 4 mos at best, with a tear in his eye. She is not eating well because it gives her pain. She nibbles on fruit and what I call junk food. Occasionally a healthy meal when someone is willing to cook for her. She has lost 12 lbs in a month. She set up hospice a week ago to help her with her medications because she wasn't taking them the way she should have been. Her pain is constant, and she will fall asleep in the middle of a conversation.
I just feel so helpless and hopeless. I will be alone, my mom just passed this past Oct.
which was really hard and now I'm loosing my sister. We've always been very close, I'm 11 mos older than her. It's just not fair. TY for being here. Your a God send.
The following 2 users give hugs of support to: bobbi416
Bercy (10-09-2012),biochemist (10-05-2012)
There is a board here just for people who are grieving, losing someone, or have lost someone. It may be helpful to you and a source of support. Your sister sounds very sick, and it will be very difficult for you both. It could be faster than 3 months since she has so many tumors elsewhere and is barely eating. People usually go within 5-7 days once they cannot even drink liquids. I am glad you have Hospice involved. They are wonderful and will answer your questions, help you understand what is happening and what to expect. They are there for family as well as the patient. Do you have other siblings so you are not alone with this? I will be thinking of you and sending you thoughts of strength and comfort so you can comfort your sister.
The Following User Says Thank You to ladybud For This Useful Post:
so sorry to hear what you are going through..i just signed up too because my mom has the last stages of PC...it is difficult for all of us at this tiime. please read my post "we are family"...everything i have been reading it says do not force them to eat, the tumors and bloating give them the feeling of being full..please respond back to me. i think we can be a great support system for each other, i know my mom is at the end and i am having a difficult time accepting it. We did not call hospice yet, but will as soon as mom experiences pain..thinking of you!!!
The following 2 users give hugs of support to: we are family
Bercy (10-09-2012),bobbi416 (09-27-2012)
The Following User Says Thank You to we are family For This Useful Post:
I share your grief. My brother, 63 years old, called me 4 days ago to tell me that he has PC which has metastasized to the liver. He has completed 2 rounds of chemo with 3 more to go. He said that his was stage 4 and was diagnosed towards the end of August. He has lost over 30 pounds.
Not knowing is the hardest. I know that the overall prognosis is poor, but still hoping for a few years more. Hoping. I coped with my mother's CCL leukemia for 13 years before it took her away at age 65, but knowing that my brother's PC can turn at any time is heartbreaking and so very hard to come to terms with.