mark2004

Hi,

I have a younger brother who is 24 years old and I am (and have been) convinced that something is not right inside his head. I might write a lot to explain, so I apologize ahead of time.

He is the youngest of 3 boys (I'm in the middle). He was always happy-go-lucky, humble with a good heart, but very gullible and a little slow (not dumb). Growing up, I took him under my wing, as we did not get along too much with my older brother. I encouraged him to be outgoing and social, and that was not a problem for him. He kindly was referred to as a class-clown in grade school and in junior high was named best dancer in both the 7th and 8th grades. He played all kinds of sports and had quite a bit of success. He was even voted most inspirational player of the year on his freshmen football team as a little 100-lb. middle linebacker. He had a lot of other successes being very outgoing.
As kids, I may have been too controlling or bossy with him, but I thought I was always looking out for his best interests. Needless to say, we were really close, and maybe he was dependent on me. If our parents couldn't make a game or function, I always tried to be there to support him.
When he was about 15, I left town and joined the Air Force. I still to this day feel like I abandoned him, and from what he tells my mom, he thinks so too.
From 15 until HS graduation, he did well all around and had more friends than I'll ever have. He decided to move out of the house before his 18th birthday and started attending a local community college.
He was doing great...
He began withdrawing from people when he started getting really bad acne and no matter what he tried, it didn't help. He was able to get a doctor to prescribe him Acutane. I was told it was supposed to only be used for a couple months at a time MAX due to it's harmful side effects to the heart, kidneys and who knows what. However, when his acne did not clear up, the doctor kept prescribing it to him, for at least 1-year straight. During this time, he started going to a "cult" church, dropped out of college, and denounced his family and catholic faith. He held onto his job, but devoted most of his money and time to his church (if you want to call it that). After a long and family-stressing story on the "cult" issue, he finally got out of that on his own. He wasn't the same after that, however tried to pick up his life and be strong. He began on his new dream of being a rap singer (it was a hobby before). He said that is what he felt he was meant to be. He still did not want to go to school...He decided that he was going to make it as a rap singer/owning his own recording label. He moved back in with my parents, contributing sometimes, but putting most of his money into expensive music equipment, transforming a bedroom into a makeshift studio. When I would call him, he seemed to always be looking for my approval, asking me to listen to his song that he recorded. I tried to be honest, and tell him that it stunk, but I always found it hard. Instead I would say "that's cool" and "keep workin' on it". I would try to get him to join the military to mature him a little, and I almost got him to, but he always backed out. There was not much going for him (or most everybody) in that tiny town.
I get a phone call one day from my mom, saying that he got arrested. Come to find out, it was for trying to solicit girls to join his "escort service". He spent a few days in jail for what was later downgraded to a misdemeanor. He continued to degrade. Since then, he worked here and there, continuing to live with my parents. Over time (through phone calls and short visits), I noticed he mentally wasn't the same brother I grew up with, and it continues to get worse. Right now he has no job and has decided to start writing a book, become a boxer, become a celebrity agent and continue with his music (all that). He goes off on my mother all the time, apologizes to her, then does it again. He starts a million projects around the house, and never finishes them...leaving my parents' house a wreck. My father is starting to ignore him and my mother is treating him like a 12 year old because that is how he's acting. He has mood swings; happy one minute, angry the next. He says that god has talked to him and still does. My mother says that he said that he feels others in the house and they push him sometimes. He goes days without sleeping, likes to go running at 2:00 in the morning because nobody's out. He bought a bulletproof vest so he's protected from "them" (the people that are jealous and out to get him). At this rate, he's going to drive my parents (65 and 53) to an early grave. I don't see him getting any better, and if I were to even mention getting help to him, I think he would kill himself. My mom said he's told her about how depressed he is and sometimes feels like committing suicide.

I don't know how he became like this, because it happened over time, and he may not even think any thing is wrong with himself. Did the acne start this? Did chemical side effects of Acutane have a part in this? Or the cult experience and recovery? Maybe it's genetic (my late grandmother said craziness ran in the family)?

I don't know what to do with him or how to persuade that he needs professional help. Any advice?