i posted before cuz i thought my b/f was bipolar. i seen he had some depakote pills so im pretty sure he is at least mildly. so i was just lookin and tryin to understand stuff a little more.
i read the question about cycling, this might be a stupid question but what is cycling exactly?
also, i thought id ask those of u who are bipolar, when u have mania episodes or like my b/f seems to blow up over little things, what is the best thing i can do? i used to just get mad and we'd have big fights that hed seem to forget about anywhere from an hour later to the next day. now if its something little and insignificant that doesnt need to be a big argument i just tell him that and leave it at that...thats probably the best thing to do right?
Rapid cycling, at least for my BF, is going from one extreme to the other and it could be instantly. For example, we were shopping at a department store one day and we were goofing around having a good time and headed into the men's dept. to look at some clothes for his boys. All of a sudden, and I mean ALL OF A SUDDEN, he started getting teary-eyed and sunk very very low - he wasn't feeling like a good Dad, what does his kids think of him (being sick), they don't respect him, etc.. We got through that, he was up again and then something happened, I can't remember, but he snapped at something (possibly me) and I could tell he was extremely agitated. And that's typical for him - not every day - but for him, the rapid cycling and mixed states are so close together some times.
Now you asked what is the best thing to do when your BF is in an agitated state - I can tell you what I do but it's going to differ for everyone with what works and what doesn't. I've asked the very same question on this board and got various answers. It's more of a trial and error thing. But more importantly, have you had a discussion with your BF about all of this? Communication and openness is really important and hopefully, he'll welcome the fact that you want to learn more. If he does, ask him what would help.
I almost didn't respond because I'm just having such a hard time concentrating and I've been typing away on these boards so much today that all the words and what I want to say are getting jumbled. And I'm not the one who is BP! I'm just having a brain fog afternoon so I hope what I've said helps somewhat. But I know when you post something here, you are always in hopes of gaining some insight. I've received so much support here that I can hopefully give back when I can.
thanks im glad u did respond
i can definitely see cycling, maybe not as extreme as u mentioned, but he'll be fine then snap for no reason and not too long after its like nothing happened.
i figured there wasnt any one answer to how to deal with it. then the fact that my b/f doesnt know that i know about this doesnt help and i really dont know how id bring it up. i had suspicions and awhile back asked him if he was, he thought i was joking and laughed at me...then i heard from a mutual friend that my b/f admitted he was to a couple of close friends...then finding the medication kind of confirms it...what else would depakote (think thats how its spelled) be used for?
i wish he would talk to me about it and stuff but he'd probably be afraid to bring it up...our relationship has been kinda rocky lately but id still do about anything for him!
well thanks for your help!
Last edited by reallyworried; 07-06-2005 at 01:03 PM.
Hopefully, you can take a day where you and your BF have been getting along really well and approach him in a way by first telling him how much you care about him and that you want to be supportive in whatever way you can. Let him know that if he does in fact have BP, it is important to you and to your relationship to have a discussion at some point so you can better understand. This way, he won't feel like he has to talk about it (or even admit it) right away if he's not ready but it will at least give him something to think about.
It took a long long time for my BF to be open about it and to allow me to discuss details such as meds/effects, triggers, mood swings, etc.. I think it's a big trust factor. My BF told me so many times he'd have "the talk" with whoever he was dating if it looked like it was going somewhere only to find that as soon as the person found out, they couldn't handle it OR if they chose to stay in the relationship, as soon as an "episode" happened, they'd be gone. Is it possible your BF could be worried? I think once he sees that you want to understand and will accept him regardless, he'll be more relaxed - hopefully.