My fiance has had mild bi-polar for over ten years. It's mild enough that he can get by without meds. He refuses meds also.
We just got approved for a mortgage to buy a new house and he is on SSD but we're having some financial difficulties.
Basically what it boils down to is he doesn't want to work....at all. He's self-employed in construction and he hasn't had a construction contract in over a year. I hear a lot of excuses and he's highly intelligent and very capable.
I'm having difficulty understanding because I work SO hard to pay the bills and it's like he doesn't even care, and hopes to rely on SSD and me to be the breadwinner and this bothers me.
He keeps talking big like "things will get better" but he still isn't trying. It's like he expects work to fall in his lap. He kept telling me he was putting out advertisements for work and it didn't happen. If he did try and wasn't getting work that would be one thing, but he hasn't tried.
His parents are very verbally abusive and tell him he's worthless because he won't work and they criticize his sleeping patterns because they are erratic due to his bipolar.
My parents don't understand and are warning me not to go in on a mortgage because if he can't help me support a family I'm going to get in over my head.
Although I love him with all of my heart part of me is embarrassed by his unwillingness to want to try for me and for a future family.
I'm almost to a point where I want to give him an ultamatum, where he tries for us, but my biggest fear is that he will do nothing and it will be over.
Any suggestions...I'm almost in tears here!!