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Old 07-23-2006, 07:38 PM   #1
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stonesrule HB User
Am I dealing with Bipolor or what?

Hi

I have an escalating problem with my girlfriend. We have been together for over 4 years. I love her very much. When times are good they are great. Now it looks like it may be over. She’s always been a little crazy in her own little way, but this is one of the things that made me fall in love with her. Over the last few months our relationship has deteriorated to the point that I don’t know what to do now. It just seemed like no matter what I did, it was never good enough. If something goes wrong, its my fault. She feels the need for constant attention. She can be the greatest person in the world one day and then next she does a complete 360. She spends money she does not have, then complains, she cant pay her bills. I have really tried all that I can with her. I bite my tongue most of the time, because I feel like I cant win. I try to tell her that I have feelings to, then she try’s to twist it around that its All About Me. Lately though I have given it right back to her. I just wanted her to see how she treats me. She doesn’t get it. In her eyes she does no wrong. I have really begun to worry about her. We have been apart now since the beginning of July. I really think that she my have something wrong with her, but there is no way that I can try to tell her this without her taking it the wrong way and denying anything is wrong. I never really new what bipolar was until I started investigating it since we’ve been apart. It seems that she may have this, and does not realize it. This has really started to wear on me over the last several months. It feels like Im fighting a losing battle. I do love her and do miss her. I just don’t know what to do any more. It seems her problems are just getting worse. Doe anyone have any input?

Thank You

 
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Old 07-23-2006, 08:03 PM   #2
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stonesrule HB User
Question is this bipolar?

Hi

I have an escalating problem with my girlfriend. We have been together for over 4 years. I love her very much. When times are good they are great. Now it looks like it may be over. She’s always been a little crazy in her own little way, but this is one of the things that made me fall in love with her. Over the last few months our relationship has deteriorated to the point that I don’t know what to do now. It just seemed like no matter what I did, it was never good enough. If something goes wrong, its my fault. She feels the need for constant attention. She can be the greatest person in the world one day and then next she does a complete 360. She spends money she does not have, then complains, she cant pay her bills. I have really tried all that I can with her. I bite my tongue most of the time, because I feel like I cant win. I try to tell her that I have feelings to, then she try’s to twist it around that its All About Me. Lately though I have given it right back to her. I just wanted her to see how she treats me. She doesn’t get it. In her eyes she does no wrong. I have really begun to worry about her. We have been apart now since the beginning of July. I really think that she my have something wrong with her, but there is no way that I can try to tell her this without her taking it the wrong way and denying anything is wrong. I never really new what bipolar was until I started investigating it since we’ve been apart. It seems that she may have this, and does not realize it. This has really started to wear on me over the last several months. It feels like Im fighting a losing battle. I do love her and do miss her. I just don’t know what to do any more. It seems her problems are just getting worse. Doe anyone have any input?

Thank You

 
Old 07-24-2006, 09:33 PM   #3
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Re: is this bipolar?

I can relate to what you are going through. I was with a man who is bipolar. He and I were together for many years. And I studied bipolar illness for many years. I still hear from him occasionally. And even years later, it's the same thing, he goes on his meds, and goes off his meds.

 
Old 08-06-2006, 03:11 PM   #4
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marshmallow HB User
Re: Am I dealing with Bipolor or what?

I wish someone would comment because I am not sure what to say.

 
Old 08-06-2006, 04:31 PM   #5
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Re: Am I dealing with Bipolor or what?

does she have her ups and downs? times where she's really happy and on top of the world? I didn't hear anything of that nature in your post....the highs and lows are symptoms of bi-polar

if she's just always usually angry, without the real "High's" I would suspect BPD, borderline personality disorder. check out the personality disorder board and see if any of if fits.

 
Old 08-21-2006, 09:05 PM   #6
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Re: Am I dealing with Bipolor or what?

Children of alcoholics or other selfabsorbed people often have been reared by unhealthy parents(duh) and many children have narcissistic tendencies-- they never think themselves at fault, no empathy for other people's feelings, need all attention, cannot share (all $, attention, etc. is for them), feel entitled and act haughty and condescending, expect you to make them and their needs THE priority w/o telling you so (you are supposed to guess and read their minds about what they want and then be ready for their wrath if you don't happen to pick up on exactly what they want but would never deign to ASK for), and the scariest thing is that when they are angry they actually experience the anger as coming from you the unwitting recipient. Does any of this sound familiar?

 
Old 08-22-2006, 05:21 AM   #7
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Re: Am I dealing with Bipolor or what?

winged1 what you described does not sound like adult children of an alcoholic. My understanding is most have low self esteem, bend fover backwards for others so as not to rock the boat, become involved in helping others (co-dependent) and so on.

 
Old 08-22-2006, 07:20 PM   #8
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Re: Am I dealing with Bipolor or what?

Man - I feel for you. I acted very similar for a long time - would get mad at my boyfriend (now husband) for the stupidest little things and drag them out into something huge that wasn't even his fault. I would always want him to pay attention to me and always compliment me and it always had to be about me. I would storm out, leave the room, cry myself to sleep - it was aweful! I'm still trying to recover from spending money that I didn't have. Anyways, I was always just real down and it didn't take much to turn me into a crazy, angry, moody monster. I would always take it out on him, and I had no right to do that. I would suggest that we break up/take a break, even though I loved him with all my heart. I don't know how he ever put up with me. He wanted to help so bad, but I didn't let him. Finally something snapped. I couldn't stop crying for, like, 3 days straight, for absolutely no reason. I went to my doctor and he prescribed me zoloft. It has truely changed my life. Is your girlfriend on any meds? I know this is not the cure for everyone, but I don't know where I/we would be now if I hadn't gone for help. It might be something that she just has to realize and do for herself. Hopefully for both of you she can come to that point soon.

Last edited by kimb0091; 08-22-2006 at 07:21 PM.

 
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