Is my husband Bi Polar? - Family & Friends of the Mentally Ill Message Board

lovelyme · 09-16-2002, 02:10 PM

He has anger issues that can be like rages. He is unnapproachable at times or a lot of the time. He can go from really happy to just solemn and into a fit and then he will yell and then usually leaves the house. He does drink often and it does effect these symtpoms greatly. On a normal day is a joker and then quiet like sitting in front of the TV and being I guess a typical man you could say, but do not bring up finances or he will start going into a fit or say something that he takes wrong and it is, "Leave me alone" or "shut up". He cannot adapt well to change when having an argument. I fyou bring up too many things he has a mental melt down and all he can do is yell, cus, demean and get in your face. Sometimes all this over asking him more than 3 questions on a topic he dislikes. Almost like a tantrum. The next day he will be low about it and he will carry out this low until he feels he wants to be nice and at that time he will be nice, but those high times do not last very long. He always seems hostile inside. You can see it on his face. Perfect discription of him is Dr. Jekll and Mr. Hyde. So is he Bi Polar?

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Marie

Yankee · 09-22-2002, 03:36 PM

This is my absolute first time logging in to this site. Your message compelled me to write. I can only share my own experience. I am a recovering alcoholic (20+ years, one day at time), and bi-polar (12 years) now. For me, I got sober first, and then found out I was bi-polar. The only thing that has worked for me is compliance on both fronts, not drinking and taking medication as prescribed. I hope your husband finds recovery on one or both. It is not fun feeling all that and not knowing why. I am grateful every day for my recovery, because although my life is not "perfect", I have been given the tools to handle what is in front of me. Thanks for your post.

lovelyme · 09-23-2002, 01:46 PM

He does have a drinking problem and he has said he does once before, but he still does it. I have given so much of myself that I have now given up. I am so tired and drained that I just assume be alone with my daughters and not have to deal with it in my home. He has to want to help himself and so far it looks hopeless. His own mother won't see it for anything more than face value and would defend him because she is a simliar character so intervention is not an option. He has no faith what so ever in God either. He makes me sad and ill sometimes when I look at him or smell him. He needs to get his life together without me. I will not be drug down. He cannot get help for anything he has going on mentally until he stops abusing himself chemicaly as in beer. I know I sound unsupportive, but I cannot change him so I am using tough love I guess.

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Marie

lovelyme · 09-24-2002, 01:57 PM

You hit the nail on the head with the behavior you described as far as self-medicating. That's him!! My daughter's are only 3 and 1 so I feel they should not know the truth at this time. They think he is always working and that is something they more comfortable to understand. The truth is that he does not live with us right now and hasn't for 6 days. He is too unstable for us. Family man isn't what he was destined to become. If he ever becomes that, then I hope it is a true self commitment and though he may not decide to be that with me then that is something I will accept hurtfully, but understandably. We are not even married after being together 7 1/2 years, but now it is for the better. He saw so many bad things happen to his mom when he was young so it sparred me to come to the bi-polar section to see if the problems were such. I have read that substance abuse is commenly hand in hand with some bi polar sufferers and that it makes treating the problem much harder. He has even said he wonders if he is, eyt wants nothing to do with helping himself therefore I feel I want nothing to do with him. I feel strong about being apart and my problem now is should I go to the DA for child support instead of working it out between the 2 of us. He will not give me the amount I will need to stay on my feet with the girls and yet if I do go the DA I am afraid that he will not handle any of the stress and become suicidal. Suicide is a true possibility in my mind for him. Telling his family will put him over the edge on top of all this as well. I am so lost and burned out!! What should I do?

10-18-2007, 08:33 AM

After looking at this Forum I am pretty sure that my husband is Bipolar. Which scares me to death. Over the past few years his mood swings and temper has seemed to worsen. He's always been moody though. I never thought about him serioulsy having a "mental" problem. I have noticed patterns in his mood swings. He will be the perfect husband and father for 1-2 maybe 3 weeks. And, when he is GOOD he is SO GOOD! He is a good man! When he's on a good couple of weeks he is better than most husbands. Then BAM he's ill about something. He won't look at me, talk to me or anything. He will just leave to go to the store or whereever and won't even tell me he is leaving. He seems to carry his feelings on his sleeve, very selfish, can't easily fall asleep, highstrung, very spiteful. I have felt that he has always been so insecure. Always thinking I am doing something behind his back. He'll go thru my cell phone to see who I've called. I have explained him to friends as Dr Jekyl & Mr Hyde. I never know what the day will bring. Will he be in a good mood today or will he be in a bad mood? I am so tired of walking on eggshells. The number one concern is that I know he WILL NOT go to the Dr is I say that I think he is Bipolar. I do not see him getting treatment for it. He would be in denial. As of right now, he has not spoken to me in a week. I just talked to him briefly and he really can't tell me why he is mad. He says he can't remember but it's "something" and then he starts thinking about all the little things. Then he says that I am making it all seem like HIM! I feel like I am the one who needs to be on medication here. I will not live this way. All these years I have wondered WHAT WAS WRONG with our marriage and now I think I know. Scary thing is, I feel like I have little control.