Hmm, lots and lots going on. Usual cycle, up and happy, down and destructive, back up again! Lots of things seem to be conspiring lately to keep him down. Just as he is on the way to stability, something else hits us, family work etc. You name it, it produces issues and depressions!
Hi, Very Green! It was good to hear from you! I'm sorry that things are so up & down with you two. That's the way of the rollercoaster, isn't it? Things were bad for awhile back. My DH got so mad at me one night that he pushed me. He has never done anything like that before. It was the first time I was really scared of what he may do. After that, I told him that he WANTS to feel like this because he keeps refusing help time and time again. The next day, he told me that he's ready to go to counseling together. I'm not getting my hopes up too high because we did that about a year ago and he just told me, "I want a divorce." He never went to file and refused to go back to counseling. He kept telling me it was all MY fault. So, time will tell. I pray that we work this all out...but we really need a miracle (sp?) now. There has been so much hurt & pain between us that I just don't know anymore. If and Untill he admitts that he has a mental illness and gets ALL the help he needs for it, I cannot foresee us working out. Well, keep on praying & looking up, my friend! (((hugs))) to you. Kym.
Prayers and hugs for you too Kym. At the moment we are experiencing a stable period. AHHHHHHHHHH the bliss. Just don't know what the future holds. I love him dearly, I want to stand by him and support him, but I have noticed something very strange lately. When he is on his depressive cycle, being sarcastic, angry, withdrawn (sometimes all at the same time! LOL), i have also started to withdraw. I no longer encourage him to talk, or pamper him, or go out of my way to make sure life is as smooth as possible. Instead, I just do what I want to, and wait for him to come back to me. Does this mean I am turning into a selfish person? Do I not care enough? He hasn't said anything about it, I actually realised it myself one day when I was in the supermarket. I have always been a caring, unselfish person (or at least thats what I thought!). Have I become someone who just doesn't care anymore? I am still there for him when he needs me, but instead of me initiating the talking and caring and listening, I just sit back and wait for him. What does that say about me?!
Sorry to rant! Hope your doing OK, and still enjoying the job.
Hugs, prayers and my thoughts are with you
PS when i say i wait for him to come back to me, i don't mean he leaves, just that he withdraws into himself!
Last edited by Very Green; 11-14-2006 at 06:17 AM.
Hi, there, Very Green! No, I don't think you're being selfish at all. I really think that you are taking care of yourself...and I think it's wonderfull! Maybe you have come to the point that you know you need to be mindful of what YOU need first and are learning to care for yourself. I believe that's a postive step in the right direction--for yourself AND for him! I think you should pat yourself on the back and be proud of yourself for doing that!!! I was glad to hear from you! How are things going now? As you say, "TTFN"!!! Your Friend, Kym.