I agree with Goody on all these things. Yes it is very hard, I deal with that all the time and am so back and forth. And he may not be looking for a way out but maybe subconsciously he is .
You have to decide what you will put up with or not, and stand your ground on that decision, hard as it may be. Right now he is using you as a doormat, yes he has problems and maybe doesn't mean to, but it seems that the more he knows you are there then the more he takes his anger out on you. He cant do that if you are not there.
I know you love him, Marsh but maybe you need to decide since you cant get through to him this is not acceptable behavior. IF you want to not decide till he is stable on meds, maybe that is safe, but then you need to not have anything to do with him for awhile.
You guys cant fix things up while he is getting better, you have to stand back and let him get better - he has meds and a doc. IF he is confused he is a grown up who can figure this out without having to hurt you ya know?
Good luck Marsh!
IT is hard to love a BP! I wish my husband would come on here he needs it more than me. Then you can all talk to him about what it means etc and why maybe... I have a hard time explaining to him. anyways....
take care of yourself!