goody2shuz

Hi gals...Leomia, sometimes it is difficult for men to understand or go take the time to learn about something that their loved one is going through. They are use to action and can pull things together and do them and not programed emotionally to nurture or instinctually know what to do for their loved ones. If it involves emotions they are lost but if it involves physically doing something to make things better they are right there!!

For instance, my brother has been sick and with very little notice became wheelchairbound. My hubby didn't hesitate getting into the car only days before Christmas and driving 5 hours to build a ramp before my brother's discharge from the hospital so that he could get in and out of the house. But to inquire about his progress or sit by his bedside when he is going through an episode of severe tremors he is unable to think of the first thing to do. So, your hubby may need some prompting in order to get a glimpse of the other side of things. It wouldn't be a bad idea to get him to come here and read a few of these threads or perhaps even create one himself so that he can learn a little bit more of what it is like to be BP and to love somebody who is BP. And it is a little more interactive than reading a book which may hold his interest more.

Marsh, while I can understand your wanting to hear from your husband it seems that every time you interact with him it causes you more and more pain. What he has to say right now isn't going to make you feel any better about things. That isn't going to happen until he is on meds and somewhat stabilized. And with Lamictal it is going to take some time and that is if he is compliant with taking it. I think that focusing on YOU is so important now....take care of yourself and allow him the opportunity to do the same. It wasn't until Erin was in a hospital for 10 weeks that she was able to see things a little bit clearer. Up until that point all she wanted was to runway and live somewhere else....she was convinced that she hated us and that we were the worst parents and there was no changing her mind. It wasn't until she was on her meds that she realized that she was just acting upon her mania and finally was feeling well enough to accept that this all was coming from a disorder that had a name. As I said, it took some time and it is going to take time with your husband too.

Thanks for asking about me....today has been a difficult day for me. In speaking with my brother by phone I could hear his breathing being quite labored and his gasping for breath as we spoke. It broke my heart and only showed me that the time is much nearer than I imagined or am ready for of losing him. So it's been a tough day for Goody and I appreciate your asking.

Love ~ Goody