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Old 08-07-2007, 12:51 PM   #1
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In love with a paranoid schizophrenic who can't love me back

I am a woman who is in love with a paranoid schizophrenic. He and I have known each other for over a year, and we love each other deeply. But because of his past as a man who used to steal other men's wives, he has taken an oath of celibacy, as he has remained for the past 8 years. His guilt over his past dealings with women is what makes him scared to take the romantic plunge. One minute he acts content to be without a woman, but then the next he will express (almost to the point of tears) how much he longs for a woman to hold and love.

I have tried to tell him that I am the woman he seeks, but he claims that he and I are meant for some higher purpose and that if we took our relationship into a romantic mode, it would corrupt us. He also says that a romantic relationship would cause him to "open pandora's box," and that he might go woman-crazy all over again.

What's worse, is that he used to tell me how beautiful I was, but then all of a sudden, after looking at a few other women who are more voluptuous than myself, he tells me I am now physically unattractive. Then he says to me that he couldn't be with me (not because I am unattractive) but because I don't feel good about myself as I am. Tell me, how can I feel good about myself if the only man I love more than my own life tells me I am unattractive to him?

So much has happened between us that suggests that we are made in heaven for each other ... soul mates, parallel lives, the whole bit. He tells me he loves me constantly, and that I am special to him. And indeed the feeling is mutual! But then, sadly, I can't get close enough to him to express the kind of love I know he wants deep-down. It pains me to know that I love him purely - the way he wants so badly and that he does not want to accept it from me. I tell him that GOD has graciously blessed him with a woman who is able to love him unconditionally, and that he just doesn't like the giftwrap! Not too long ago, looks never mattered to him. I guess in time, he will go back to the way he once was. This emotional roller-coaster ride gets even more strange by the day! It's like his brain changes channells or something!

Anyway, all this has me in a fit. Is it the schizophrenia that is keeping us apart romantically? or just the real guy? I mean, this is like dealing with Dr. Jeckyll and Mr. Hyde!

 
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Old 08-09-2007, 06:21 PM   #2
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Re: In love with a paranoid schizophrenic who can't love me back

stop trying to pressure him into loving you.hes crazy not stupid

 
Old 08-10-2007, 08:25 AM   #3
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Catman74 HB User
Re: In love with a paranoid schizophrenic who can't love me back

Go to therapy together. It might help resolve some of your issues.

 
Old 08-10-2007, 10:24 AM   #4
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Re: In love with a paranoid schizophrenic who can't love me back

Whether it's him or the schizophrenia it sounds like a losing proposition for all involved. Find someone who is truly AVAILABLE for a relationship instead of trying to make one happen where there is no potential for a healthy one.

 
Old 08-10-2007, 10:38 AM   #5
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Re: In love with a paranoid schizophrenic who can't love me back

Quote:
Originally Posted by Sara Mercury View Post
tell me how can I feel good about myself if the only man I love more than my own life tells me I am unattractive to him?
first rule of thumb......NEVER ever love any man more than you love your own life.......
this guy can't give you what you need. staying with him will be self-destructive at best. move on unless you have no self-respect left.....if you don't go soon, it's only a matter of time.

 
Old 08-22-2007, 12:39 PM   #6
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Re: In love with a paranoid schizophrenic who can't love me back

Sara,
I think I know how you feel. The love of my life just cut me out of his life last week (there is no official diagnosis, but I'm pretty certain its sz-if it walks like a duck, quacks...) for no real reason after distancing himself from me for some time while at the same time making plans with me. When I asked him what was happening he went into an episode "I Don't NEED this" etc etc.
I'm heartbroken and on the edge myself.
Hugs
Nina

 
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