Finding this board has been one of the best things in my life! I have an older sister, she's in her early 30's, I'm in my late 20's. My sister is but a shell of her former self. A few years back she was an honest, hard-working, devoted professional and sibling. She was ALWAYS there for me, she was always there for my mom. She got us through one of the darkest times of our lives through love, determination and her ability to step up to the plate and take control where it was needed.
She has worked in the restaurant industry since she was 16 years old. Since then she went from strength to strength and earned a job as ops manager for one of the best 10 restaurants in Cape Town. That's when the trouble started.
Once we discovered she's bipolar, we realised she had a severe drug habit. My mom and I basically robbed Peter to pay Paul in order to get her into the best private rehab clinic. Things started looking up when her psychiatrist placed her on meds, and during her time at rehab she seemed like a changed person. My mom and I were so very happy, but cautiously so, as we didn't want to be let down. She had been involved with her then-boss for about five years (my sister is lesbian). During her time at rehab she was told that her girlfriend was toxic, to which she agreed. She vowed never to see this woman again, having "realised" what an insanely bad infuence this woman had on her. As lovers, this woman would leave all the work at the restaurant to my sister, who happily took it on being in-love with her etc., blah blah. My sister said that she just couldn't deal with the demanding working hours, plus additional workload stacked on her by her boss (who owned the restaurant). She told us that was why she turned to cocaine, to be "awake enough to do everything". This girlfriend was having a breakdown (oh please! she was a lazy cow who knew my sister had a history of over-extending herself for loved ones, and thus took advantage of that). The restaurant closed down after seven years, and F (the girlfriend) just couldn't handle it, so she left everything up to my sister. My sister went on a drinking binge, resulting in F pushing her down 2 flights of stairs. F then dropped her off at my house (my sister had split her head open and needed immediate emergency medical care). Well my boyfriend went nuts at F for doing this. Her excuse for not taking G to the hospital was "I don't have enought petrol" which was complete BS as my house is further than the hospital (in face, you have to drive past the hosp to get to my house)!! Anyway my mom and I got her to the emergency room. That's when we made the decision to place her in rehab.
She seemed to make such immense progress at rehab, and told us that she was so sorry for all the hurt and pain she's caused us. She told us she never wanted to see F again as she was a master manipulater an an enabler.
Two months after rehab G admitted she was still seeing F. Nice one. This woman has phoned me at work and cursed me, I have no clue why, she's send vulgar text msg's to my mom and I, which I showed my sister! My mom and I realised that by fighting the relationship, we would push G further away, as we were always the "baddies", so we accepted it. My mom fell ill and required 24 hour care. As I worked all day I couldn't provide this,G could. So my mom went to stay with G and F for two weeks. During that time they stole cheque's, withdrew thousands from my mom's bank account, stole her pain meds, they basically ripped her off big time!
G told us that her relationship was over, and moved in with my mom. She has continued to steal cheques and cash, she takes my mom's car without permission, she has also stolen thousands from my grandparents who are pensioners. My sister also took herself off her meds, although my father still deposits the money into her bank account for said meds every month. G is completely irrational, she goes ballistic when confronted with anything. She disappears for hours on end and then tells my mom she went to buy milk!!! At 2a.m.!!! F is working in the middle east, and G told us she is seeing someone she met at AA and NA. This woman, who she's being seeing for months, does not exist. Her cell number doesn't exist, nobody at her work place has ever heard of her (I did some checking up, as I smelt a huge rat!), yet when presented with these facts G still lied to my face and said I'm
wrong! She refused to admit her problems, she's living off my mother, plus stealing from her, my mother had to take out a massive loan to pay off G's debts. She can't hold down a job, same excuses as always. I mean, clearly she's lying! My mom and I don't know what to do. We've done everything possible. If we speak to G's psychiatrist, he'll put her on the med again, but we cannot force her to take them. I am at such a loss. My grandparents are devastated by her actions, as are my mom and I. She really seems not to care who she's hurting! She has also stolen money from me, and my pain meds. I have rheumatoid arthritis, and my rheumatologist gave me a script for 20 Valeron, which are opiates (although not mood-altering) for the extremely painful days. My sister felt NOTHING for stealing my pills, money etc.
I am so extremely worried about my mom. I am at a complete loss. Please help me, I am absolutely desperate.
Thanks for a wonderful board,