Well, I haven't posted in a long time, things have been moderately stable, I guess...but Sara announced last week that A: she was dropping out of school (hopefully for just this semester) and B: she is going off all her meds as she does not believe she is bipolar. Not surprised at all since my pdoc told me that 100% of his BP patients go off their meds at least once. He is stepping her down carefully, but warned me of a big crash. Sadly, since she is not in school, she is no longer on our insurance and the COBRA rider to keep her covered was over $400 a month--we simply can't afford it with hubby's Interferon meds at $800+ a month and her therapy at $400.....I have nothing to say really, just wish she hadn't chosen right now when her dad is so sick to do this----he is barely hanging in there making thru the work week and she has to do this to us. Well--wish us the best, I guess, hopefully she won't crash and burn. We still haven't paid off the hospital from her psych stay in July! GRRRRRRRRR.
I'm sorry to hear about all of the struggles!!! This cant be easy for you, and my hopes and prayers are with you and your family.
Listening to what you said, my guess is that your daughter may be acting in reaction to the current situtation. Stress is often a trigger. Also, she may be looking to reduce her impact as she sees it on the family by not having you pay for meds, and not paying for school. A friend of mine took a similar route (shes has BP and ADD) when her mother was diagnosed with cancer. However, things worked out for her. There were many bumps in the road, but things righted themselves in the end. I wish the same for you and yours.
Best of luck and warmest wishes!!!!!!
I have been thinking about you and your family. I guess the only thing that is positive is that Sara is tapering off her medication slowly. Will she still live with you? Can she get a full time job with benefits for insurance? From what you have posted before, she has never really accepted her dx or been compliant with what she needs to do to become stable. Maybe she just has to bottom out and then she will be more accepting. As a mom it is just so hard to sit back and watch it happen.
Please take care of yourself and know that you have done everything you can to try and help her.
We've all been thinking about you and waiting to hear from you. I have heard, too, that at one point or another, many BPer reject his/her diagnosis and goes off of the meds. My son decided the same thing this summer and I think he actually surprised himself when he saw how quickly he plummeted. He is now convinced he is BP, has been compliant with meds and is working with his new therapist, and is in a much better place than he has been for a long time. Although I always worry when I even put that in writing, I am grateful for it and I hope for the same thing for Sara.
In the meantime, come here for support. You are going through a very stressful time all the way around and we are here for you.
It's nice when someone realizes fairly quickly that they are better off on meds than without them. If it goes too far and s/he goes into a full-fledged mania, that little window of self-awareness vanishes and sometimes this leads to the need for hospitalization.
Zac was lucky that he noticed a difference right away. Hopefully Sara will do the same.
I am sorry to hear that Sara is going to go off the meds....as others have said it's not an uncommon occurrence with BPers. I do understand your concerns about her not going to school full-time so that you can continue to carry her on your insurance.....I am worried about that as well with Kait and Erin when that time comes because we all know how expensive it is when it comes time that they need their meds and/or end up needing hospitalization.
I don't know what to say or do to make you feel better....my heart goes out to you especially when you have your husband to worry about. What about your other daughters....what do they think about this??? I think that if Sara is going to live with you the conditions should be that she accepts the help that she needs. If not perhaps it is time for her to make her way in the world....I know, not an easy thing to do but if she thinks she is well enough to not need her meds then she should be well enough to work and support herself. It's not an easy thing but sometimes the only way they will realize that there is a problem is when they are able to come to that realization. I would hate for her to be living with you and then your being liable for something that she may do.
Please know that we are here for you and if there is anything that I can do to make it easier. Meanwhile I am sending you my love, support, and prayers.
Thanks, all for being there...yes, I have been "absent" lately, I started working again after many years of being a stay at home mom and that has been quite the change in my life! I have almost no "down" time..which I guess is good, in a way.
Sara's dad will not even talk about her--he's had it & will not involve himself at all in her behavior and life. If she crashes, it will be all me dealing with it...but so far, she's still tapering off the Seroquel. It's when she dumps the Lithium that I think we'll see a change. BUT she's an adult and I cannot do anything. Her sisters are all 100% against her doing this, because she lives at home and things here are tough..but again, the adult thing....she is working full time but is not able to get health insurance there until 1 year. She might buy into her BIL's policy, it's over $200 a month...welcome to the real world!
I try to keep out of her hair as much as possible...watch and wait is all I can do.
Her dad is still quite sick, she does not seem to realize nor care. I'm so tired of this all, really, I can't give her the "interest" in her life she craves...and I really so wish she would have stayed stable on the meds, gone to school & moved out with some friends. Sigh....but I knew she had to do this and I am trying to prepare for anything and hoping that maybe, just maybe she'll learn something from all this. WITHOUT crashing, y'know??
Thanks again--I will try to keep you all updated.