It appears you have not yet Signed Up with our community. To Sign Up for free, please click here....



Family & Friends of the Mentally Ill Message Board
Post New Thread   Closed Thread
LinkBack Thread Tools
Old 04-14-2008, 11:40 AM   #1
Veteran
(female)
 
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: usa
Posts: 370
tiredpoet HB User
He believes his life parallels his celebrity obsession's life

I have a question. I'm trying to understand how to help someone and am not sure where to go, but understanding (or trying to get as much insight into) the whole picture is always a good first step.
We (his friends and family) think he has borderline, but he will not see a medical professional, and we are not equipped to make more than a guess. He fits the description of this to a T, but also could be bipolar or something else.
He's 30 years old now and in the past few years, out of the blue, he has begun talking about how he was beaten by his father as a child and has terrible memories from it and a lot of resentment toward his mother and siblings for not being aware of it and coming to his rescue. His father is deceased and by all accounts was a very gentle man, and they lived in a small house and the children were rarely separated, meaning he didn't have a lot of opportunities to be alone with his father for more than five minutes at a time, and he never had a single injury to raise a red flag. But he is so adamant that this abuse occurred . He never spoke about being abused even vaguely before two years ago.

He also has a very, very unhealthy obsession with a particular celebrity musician, to the point where he has stated to his brother in the past that this musician "is a better person and understands me more than any of his family or so-called friends," and refers to him as a god and a genius, etc. He has never, ever met this musician or even attended one of his concerts to anyone's knowledge. If he did, believe me, he'd never stop talking about it because this musician is the topic of 50% of conversation with him, the other 50% being about how unfair it is that he got dealt the life he was dealt and how much it sucks to be him and how hard his life is. (No one's life is perfect, but he grew up middle class with a nice family and was popular and an athlete, and he never went without. He went to a good college, but hasn't held a steady job much because he always claims his bosses are out to get him.)

I recently did some reading and discovered that about two years ago the musician he's obsessed with became more vocal about abuse he suffered as a child at the hands of his stepfather. He spoke of it in several interviews beginning in the summer of 2006 (when this revelation first came to my friend that he'd been abused), and has become increasingly more open about it in interviews.

It suddenly clicked that my friend might be trying so hard to relate to this musician that he's convinced himself that they have led parallel lives. Is this possible? Or could there be any other reason why he would assume the memories of another person?

We don't know what he has. It could be borderline or any number of things, but is this particular kind of obsessing and memory creation indicative of anything? This past weekend we had to have the police involuntarily hospitalize him because he made suicidal remarks to a bunch of different people and told another friend he'd crashed his car in an effort to kill himself. He denied everything to the doctors and said he was fine-he seems to be able to "turn the switch" whenever he's around a doctor and says that he's perfectly find and content and there's no problem. We later found out he'd actually hit a parked car while pulling out of a side street while drunk and he took off from the scene (leading to more trouble for him). He admitted it when presented with the evidence, so this means the suicide attempt he described to his friend was something he made up--though still a very big cry for help in my opinion. So he could be making up things like being abused, or he could genuinely believe it happened to him. We just have on way of knowing. No one has accused him of lying about the abuse, but no one believes it, especially now that we know his story parallels the celebrity object of his obsession.

Does this ring a bell with anyone as a possible sign of a specific disorder? He doesn't want to get help, but not a day goes by when he doesn't call someone to say he's either crying and doesn't know why, angry because God gave him such a terrible life, or telling someone that they are terrible people and that "so and so is a better brother/sister/friend than you and I'm through with you," only to act later like nothing happened. But the celebrity obsession is a concern and we don't know if it could turn into a deeper obsession that might lead to stalking or God knows what.

 
Sponsors Lightbulb
   
Old 04-14-2008, 01:09 PM   #2
Senior Veteran
(male)
 
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: ontario
Posts: 3,776
Blog Entries: 1
trg247 HB Usertrg247 HB Usertrg247 HB User
Re: He believes his life parallels his celebrity obsession's life

It could be a wide variety of different mental disorders or a combination. I came across this illness the other day called Celebrity Worship syndrome and more specifically the intense - personal part where the person believes there is a special bond.

I guess it could be part of dissociation where he has created a new reality to block out his own at some level.

Borderline could be a possibility or even histrionic personality disorder.

The best bet is for him to go see a doctor and hear what they have to say but if he is switching attitudes/beliefs in front of a medical professional then even this will not be helpful. Unfortunately for a lot of people with personality disorders they almost need to hit rock bottom before there issues can be addressed. The part that has me confused is that most of his behaviors are recent where as most personality disorders have been around for the majority of someones life.

Sorry I could not be much of a help

take care
trg247
__________________
Major Depressive Disorder With Psychotic Features
Post Traumatic Stress Disorder
Borderline Personality Disorder
Generalized Anxiety Disorder

Current Meds
Pristiq
Cymbalta
Seroquel
Temazapam

 
Old 04-14-2008, 08:41 PM   #3
Veteran
(female)
 
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: usa
Posts: 370
tiredpoet HB User
Re: He believes his life parallels his celebrity obsession's life

No, you were very helpful, thank you! I think the behaviors have become much more "at the forefront" in the last few years, but from what I know even as far back as when he was a child he always had a sort of "it's not fair that I have to be me" attitude. It definitely reached a fever pitch after his father died about 10 years ago. I can't explain the sudden change in the last two years though, where he's been suddenly "remembering" things like abuse and saying things about hearing voices (but we can never tell if he's serious because he'll say it to some people but then deny it to others) and he says over and over that he "can't get out of his own head."
He is in a hospital right now but still hasn't been really evaluated. He has no insurance at the moment, so he's not getting priority care where he is, I guess, although the crisis management nurse I spoke to on the phone seemed like she cared, so that's promising. I hope he's not able to fool the doctor by saying he's fine and charming him or her into releasing him, because he really needs help, and all of us who care about him need to stop being scared and stressed out every day over what he might do next. I wish I could tell the doctor about this celebrity worship and the coincidence of his sudden abuse memories being the same as the celebrity's, but I know I can't. I just hope the doctor talks to him long enough to see that there is something going on.

 
Old 04-14-2008, 10:17 PM   #4
Senior Veteran
(male)
 
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: ontario
Posts: 3,776
Blog Entries: 1
trg247 HB Usertrg247 HB Usertrg247 HB User
Re: He believes his life parallels his celebrity obsession's life

Before I get into this I should explain where my perspective comes from, at the moment I am diagnosed with borderline personality, severe depression, chronic PTSD and anxiety so I tend to see things a bit differently.

The brain is capable of darn near anything including blocking out traumas for a long time. There are periods of my past that I really did not remember and what I do shows up in dreams and flashbacks then verified by others who were there at the time. When your talking about personality disorders the person is putting forth an image that they believe others want to see but a lot of the time it is an illusion and not reality, depends on the person who they are interacting with depends on the show. The people who really know me tend to see more of the real me and all the dirt that comes with it where with others that I do not trust they see what I think they want to see. On this site I tend to be rather open because I know anytime I want to I can just disappear and I know no one on this site would be able to pick me out of a crowd.

Hearing voices is not that uncommon and it is linked to psychosis the real question is where does the psychotic behavior come from and in my case it is a byproduct of depression. Is your friend telling you he hear voices because he wants the attention or is he doing it because he trusts you with this information, either one is a realistic possibility.

As for the doctors coming to a firm diagnosis is going to depend on him and how open he is willing to be and how much he wants the help. I managed to go through a two month psych ward stay with the topic of personality disorder never arising and it was not until I decided I wanted it to change did I allow the doctors the information they needed to come up with the right diagnosis. Admitting you have a problem regarding personality is not easy for you pretty much need to admit to yourself your entire life has been one big act and you basically need to go back to the beginning and start over. Not a lot of fun and a hell of a lot of work. I hope your friend decides this is the time for him to change and gets the help that he needs.

take care
trg247
__________________
Major Depressive Disorder With Psychotic Features
Post Traumatic Stress Disorder
Borderline Personality Disorder
Generalized Anxiety Disorder

Current Meds
Pristiq
Cymbalta
Seroquel
Temazapam

 
Old 04-15-2008, 07:16 AM   #5
Veteran
(female)
 
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: usa
Posts: 370
tiredpoet HB User
Re: He believes his life parallels his celebrity obsession's life

Thanks so much for sharing this. It's going to be a long road, it sounds like. I'll help him as much as I can, but it sounds like more important is that he help himself, and I just don't know that he's reached that point.

 
Old 04-16-2008, 02:03 PM   #6
Senior Veteran
(male)
 
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: ontario
Posts: 3,776
Blog Entries: 1
trg247 HB Usertrg247 HB Usertrg247 HB User
Re: He believes his life parallels his celebrity obsession's life

Unfortunately the key to the majority of mental illnesses is the person to get properly diagnosed, the person to admit their is a problem and accept the disorder for recovery to be possible. If a person does not do this chances are they are going to continue to run around in circles.

take care
trg247
__________________
Major Depressive Disorder With Psychotic Features
Post Traumatic Stress Disorder
Borderline Personality Disorder
Generalized Anxiety Disorder

Current Meds
Pristiq
Cymbalta
Seroquel
Temazapam

 
Old 04-17-2008, 01:25 PM   #7
Veteran
(female)
 
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: usa
Posts: 370
tiredpoet HB User
Re: He believes his life parallels his celebrity obsession's life

You're so right. He's getting out of the hospital already. The social worker who talked to his family wanted him to stay for at least two weeks, but he met with the psychiatrist and completely played him, and since he has no insurance they didn't both digging any deeper.

So now we will all be holding our breath, waiting for the next incident and feeling helpless to do anything.

 
Old 04-18-2008, 12:11 PM   #8
Senior Veteran
(male)
 
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: ontario
Posts: 3,776
Blog Entries: 1
trg247 HB Usertrg247 HB Usertrg247 HB User
Re: He believes his life parallels his celebrity obsession's life

This applies to me or at least it use to and it might apply to your friend which may help in the long run.

My life is centered around a false image that I created to keep myself safe but the problem is it was not real. This image was everything that I thought everyone else wanted me to be but it took a lot of work to maintain it and a big part was seeing myself as someone worthy. Other people with BPD and other personality disorders need the attention to keep up their image and it does not matter if it positive or negative as both are justifies as someone noticed me so I must matter or be important. If they do not get the attention they want from one person they will just move on to the next and hope to get it there. The key to minimizing this is to get everyone on the same page (which is not easy to do) if this person knows that everytime they do something that they will receive the same response then it may limit the behavior. If everytime he threatens to hurt himself his "audience" picks up the phone and calls the police then chances are he will find a new way to get attention. It is much easier when the person realizes there is a problem and wants to change.

take care
trg247
__________________
Major Depressive Disorder With Psychotic Features
Post Traumatic Stress Disorder
Borderline Personality Disorder
Generalized Anxiety Disorder

Current Meds
Pristiq
Cymbalta
Seroquel
Temazapam

 
Closed Thread

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Board Replies Last Post
Celebrity crushes and marriage- where is the line? XRoseTylerX Relationship Health 44 02-05-2008 10:00 PM
What is your child's obsession? MrsMantis Autism Spectrum 16 09-05-2007 09:18 AM
Addicted mother in denial--almost a life story:) 1stimer662 Family & Friends of Addicts and Alcoholics 4 07-29-2007 07:51 AM
A life less than ordinary Multiple Man Depression 14 02-18-2007 01:04 PM
married with a child - thoughts about a celebrity kusum Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) 1 01-09-2006 02:10 AM




Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is Off
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off




Join Our Newsletter

Stay healthy through tips curated by our health experts.

Whoops,

There was a problem adding your email Try again

Thank You

Your email has been added








TOP THANKED CONTRIBUTORS



rosequartz (10), katlin09 (3), writeleft (3), rudiraven (3), Breezin (3), ladybud (3), Mihral21 (2), solofelix (2), multiplefriend (2), Stacey1970 (2)

Site Wide Totals

teteri66 (1180), MSJayhawk (1007), Apollo123 (906), Titchou (851), janewhite1 (823), Gabriel (759), ladybud (755), midwest1 (669), sammy64 (668), BlueSkies14 (607)



All times are GMT -7. The time now is 07:08 AM.



Site owned and operated by HealthBoards.comô
Terms of Use © 1998-2014 HealthBoards.comô All rights reserved.
Do not copy or redistribute in any form!