I've had so much trouble with my BF that I just wanted to see if anyone could help or advise. I found this website just through google an hope someone can help me.
First of all I just want to say that I completely love my boyfriend. I know he's clinically paranoid & schizophrenic. But I know he takes his medication and he know his thoughts of killing himself or others are not what he actually wants to do and he feels very strongly that he would never do anything like that and I completely believe him.
The only thing is that our every day life is affected by his illness. I may sound selfish but I want a life where I don't need to worry constantly about what he's going to do.
It was only about 2 months into our relationship when he told me he had to take pills every day to control his disease. He's told me the crazy things he's done in his past...he's tried to kill himself and taken crazy turns at the people closest to him beacause his paranoid thoughts have taken over and he cant help it. But he does regret every minute of it and takes his medication every day to control it.
I love that he accepts his condition and does take the medication, however, a part of it is that he cannot have a "normal" social" life. If I am friendly with anyone, male or female he is extremely paranoid.As an example I'll tell you about when we went out for my birthday recently with my family...brother & wife, sis & husband, cousin & GF and best friends. We went to a pub and I had a wonderful time but the next day he accused me of going off into the toilets with another man!! Now I would never even contemplate doing anything like that and he should know it since we've been together 2 years now but I still have to defend myself.
That isn't the thing which worries me most though because after a while, he realises that he has taken it the wrong way and believes me but the worst is that he is actually so unsociable. Now I am a really friendly and sociable person. I have given up A LOT of my social life because I love him so much and TBH I'd rather be alone with him than be with anyone else anyway. But when we are with other ppl or if i'm on my own out and about, I worry so much what he's going to think that I cant enjoy myself.
For example, I went out on a works night out a few weeks ago and ended up going to a party with my workmates. I called him every hour or so to tell him what was going on...but when I called at 2am, he told me I was to get home NOW or I wasn't getting in!! Now to make you understand, I'm not one for staying out all night but I was enjoying the party with my friends and he should have known there was nothing going on but still, I was made out to be a PHENOMINALLY bad person for doing this. This is one of many things which I'm sure you will have experienced since you are on this board!
Really, what I need is some kind of advice or help in how to properly deal with his moods and paranoia. I've asked to visit the doc or councillor with him but he doesnt like going to either so I'm kinda stuck in this. Because when he's not acting paranoid or even when we just have a drink together....he falls asleep at 10pm because of his pills and anti-depressants so I'm stuck on my own.I know that sounds selfish but because he doesnt want to go out with people,I'm stuck inside drinkin with him til he passes out at ten then I need to amuse myself somehow...buit not by speaking to anyone (god forbid!) He gets paranoid about my friends and I would never tell them what he's going through cos they would just tell me to get rid and thats not what I want.
I just feel like I'm trapped but I do know that he is the most loving and caring person I know. I also love him to bits but TBH I am sitting typing this right now because he can't stay awake. We were watching his football team playing tonight and we had some fun, a few drinks but then he passed out at 10 pm....again. I begged him to stay awake because we hadn't had an evening past 10pm for about 2 months! but he couldn't control it and fell asleep.
I realise that he might not be able to take his medicatoin and drink alcohol but he refuses to accept this and afer about 6 drinks, he's passed out. If I was not a big drinker, I would be OK with this....but I'm a very sociable drinker and like to party maybe once a month or so...I am only 25 lol!! Since he's not happy with me socialising, it has to be with him and we dont get much of an evening if he has a drink.............