Hi Tinymom
I just read your post regarding your son's behavior, and my jaw just hit the floor because I behaved similarly when I was a little girl. I thought that I would share the reasons for my behavior so that you might gain some insight about your son, and be able to better help him.
When I was very little (starting when I was three and four years old), I began experiencing anxiety in relation to how I appeared to others in my extended family. I was very aware of the social expectations of certain family members. When I started going to childcare at a very young age, I was also aware of how to behave. So, I behaved like a little angel in front of them--and many times it was genuine--but I felt like I could be myself in front of my immediate family like my mom and brother. This meant, like most little kids will do, I threw tantrums when I didn't get my way, etc. I think some of the anger that I felt was a result of being frustrated because I felt like I couldn't be myself in front of others, so I released this anger with people who I knew would accept me unconditionally (although, I did get spanked some times).
I had OCD behaviors starting at a very young age, as well. I remember having to count a certain number of sheets of toilet paper, having to "balance" myself by touching things with the same finger on both hands, etc. It was sooo frustrating to me, as I didn't see any of my friends do this, though I worked to hide it even at that age anyway. I also had perfectionistic tendencies starting when I was in preschool--for example, I had to paste and repaste the little letter boxes onto a page so that they fit perfectly into the traced box shape--it was a mess sometimes *LOL*. I also erased holes in my paper when I first started to write.
One thing to remember is that many people with these tendencies are very bright, they are just more sensitive to situations and things than other people might be. I was told often that I was very sensitive. I loved my friends and family, but I had all this anxiety that frustrated me and made me a bit angrier at times because I wanted to have more fun and be more myself with my friends.
At 29 years old, I still struggle with OCD tendencies and anxiety. I have learned, through therapy and my own self-help ventures, how to cope more successfully with these feelings. I also take 20mg of Lexapro daily to help with any chemical imbalance in my brain. I caution using medications in a young child, though, because his brain is still developing, and the meds could have serious side effects and reprucussions later on. I also believe that learning coping skills is more beneficial in the long-run.
I hope this helps you to manage your son's behavior more effectively
. If you have any questions at all, please feel free to ask
.
Keep in Touch,
Colleen
