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Old 05-18-2009, 05:34 AM   #1
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hailey1234 HB User
Pregnant with Borderline Personality Disorder Fiancee

i have been in a relationship with a bpd 31 year old man for one year now. he has not been professionally diagnosed, but my therapist has helped me to come to this 'neighborhood' of disorders... we moved in together before i knew that he had this disorder. we also got engaged as soon as his divorce came through last february. he rages when he gets upset and has repeatedly thrown me out of our place, sometimes even in the middle of the night in my pyjamas. he threw me out last friday and i haven't been back. i am staying with my sister and trying to resist going back because i am pregnant. he knew this when he threw me out, and regrets it now and is constantly asking for me to come back. he is binge drinking, not sleeping and living kind of recklessly to sum it up. when we were together, he was abusive financially, emotionally, psychologically and even sexually. i have pointed all of this out to him, and explained that i now need to protect our baby and can't go back. he claims that through his therapy, which he just started for the first time in his life 3 weeks ago. that he is due to be diagnosed soon, and he seems to think that he will be recoved from this disorder before our baby arrives in january. can you please explain to me how long the average person with bpd takes to get it under control? Also, is there medication involved? Finally, is the abuse part of the disorder, or should i be steering clear from now on?

 
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Old 05-20-2009, 01:13 AM   #2
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Re: Pregnant with Borderline Personality Disorder Fiancee

Quote:
Originally Posted by hailey1234 View Post
i have been in a relationship with a bpd 31 year old man for one year now. he has not been professionally diagnosed, but my therapist has helped me to come to this 'neighborhood' of disorders... we moved in together before i knew that he had this disorder. we also got engaged as soon as his divorce came through last february. he rages when he gets upset and has repeatedly thrown me out of our place, sometimes even in the middle of the night in my pyjamas. he threw me out last friday and i haven't been back. i am staying with my sister and trying to resist going back because i am pregnant. he knew this when he threw me out, and regrets it now and is constantly asking for me to come back. he is binge drinking, not sleeping and living kind of recklessly to sum it up. when we were together, he was abusive financially, emotionally, psychologically and even sexually. i have pointed all of this out to him, and explained that i now need to protect our baby and can't go back. he claims that through his therapy, which he just started for the first time in his life 3 weeks ago. that he is due to be diagnosed soon, and he seems to think that he will be recoved from this disorder before our baby arrives in january. can you please explain to me how long the average person with bpd takes to get it under control? Also, is there medication involved? Finally, is the abuse part of the disorder, or should i be steering clear from now on?
BPD is treated with a combination of mood stabilizers, anti-depressants and benzos and/or DBT (Dialectical Behavioral Therapy). One does not "recover" from BPD since it is a lifelong disorder. As difficult as it is, I would highly recommend that you stay away from this person. The fact that he abused you in several different ways speaks volumes about the way he will treat you and your child if you remain in this relationship. As far as abuse is concerned, I am only speaking from my experience of knowing 3 people with BPD, but each of them (all female) could be very abusive and did not have any qualms about focusing on another person's fault and continuing to use that against them. They can be extremely manipulative and self-centered. Some also have severe problems controlling their anger. Note that I am not referring to everyone who has BPD. I am only speaking about the 3 people I know who have this disorder as well as information I've read about BPD's symptomatology.
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