After reviewing the list of symptoms I'm more convinced that my bf suffers from bipolar disorder. We have been together for 8 months and, during that time, I always suspected something was a little bit off. He'll go from seemingly fine to someone I don't even recognize - his energy level goes through the roof with no need for sleep. He's a bartender and works nights, but this goes far beyond the call of duty. He's mentioned before that he feels like he's "inherently" bad and that he's even **** once before, in his late teens. He'll go from seemingly quiet and insecure to being easily distracted, talkative, and unusually self-confident. In one moment, he is the most loving, generous, considerate person in the world, and then suddenly out of nowhere he will turn into a completely different person. He will stay out all night, **** and say the most hurtful things to me.
Three weeks ago we had an argument over absolutely nothing (he claimed I was in a "mood" and I got defensive), during which he went into a rage and said he needed some "space" for a couple of days. I got random, breezy texts every other day. After a week he said he wanted to talk. He never called. I finally phoned at 8PM at which point he said his friend was in town and we could just talk tomorrow. I was incredulous. Obviously, talking and working things out wasn't a priority for him. He text me at 2AM the next morning to inform me that he was home from work, that he was still confused and that he thought we needed a "break" - not to date other people, but to get our lives in order before we could move forward. (He is currently struggling financially; I am recently unemployed and have been having a difficult time financially as well.) I told him I understood where he was coming from and that we DID need to work on ourselves independently but that I didn't see how a "break" would serve to advance that goal. He left about a week ago after starting an argument with me, going into a rage and telling me he couldn't even look at me. I told him he could have all the space he needed. Only, he continued to text me daily - everything from wishing me luck on interviews to asking me how my sick dog was doing. I finally confronted him last Friday night and told him that his mixed signals were giving me whiplash and that I felt like he was stringing me along. He told me that he just needed "to be alone right now." I told him that I was fully aware of what HE wanted but that I felt confused because he wouldn't let me in and tell me what he was thinking/feeling. I also told him that I was upset and hurt because I felt like he wasn't taking my feelings into consideration. He began to rage and ordered me to "get out." Initially I refused, pleading that he just communicate with me so that I could help him. That just made him angrier, so I left. I text him the next morning to apologize for things getting so heated. I told him I loved him, but that I would not beg him to love me and to try to work things out if he didn't want that too. He said I just didn't understand but that I would one day. He then informed me that MY behavior the night before had ruined any chance we had of ever working things out and that I was "lucky" that he didn't call the police when I refused to leave. I was incredulous. Shocked. Hurt. I still can't quite wrap my head around what's happened.
I know that he was abused as a child by his father and that, after finding out at 18 that he'd been adopted, he had what he classifies as a "breakdown." He has also informed me that his previous relationship with his girlfriend of 3 years was VERY tumultuous - lots of fighting and break ups and an **** on his part somewhere in between. I just don't know what to think. He refuses to see a doctor or admit that anything is wrong. I do love him and I want to help, but I fear that if I try to contact him now it will only push him further away. I feel so helpless.